real life – Page 86 – Life on the BPD

Posted on November 1, 2022February 9, 2023 by pattytacuri · 2 Comments

Poetry: Joe Goldberg

I wrote this poem in January of this year for a DBT exercise about being creative.

My love for Joe Goldberg is for real

even if he is a psycho serial killer

he might kill me but won’t abandon me

or break up with me

My love for Joe Goldberg is healthy and lovely

It brings a calm and serenity like no other

My love for Joe Goldberg makes me understand

Myself better

I’m like him, in love with love

My love for Joe Goldberg is the only one I want

for now

I’d rather deal with a fictional crazy Joe

rather than a real life asshole

Posted on October 30, 2022October 20, 2022 by pattytacuri

Poetry: Rejection

I wrote this in 2009 about Brad.

Rejection
Is an interruption
Of the infatuation
I felt towards you

Rejection
Is a profound sadness
With a river of tears
That flows down my cheeks

Rejection
Is a broken promise
You made
That breaks my heart
Along with the rest of me

Rejection
Is the start of learning
Who you are
Behind the facade
Of infatuation

Posted on October 29, 2022October 2, 2022 by pattytacuri

Poesia: Orgullo

Here is the English Version of this poem:

https://lifeonthebpd.com/2021/11/30/poetry-pride/

Nunca sabrás del dolor
Que sentí por tu abandono
nunca veras
las lagrimas que llore por ti
nunca descubrirás
como me llenaste con agonía

Porque soy demasiado orgullosa
para admitir que fui una babosa
Por que tengo demasiada dignidad
para estar llena de miseria por tu culpa
Por tengo demasiado respeto
Para convertirme en un desastre

Posted on October 27, 2022October 2, 2022 by pattytacuri · 2 Comments

Poesia: Esperandote

Here is the English version of this poem:

https://lifeonthebpd.com/2022/10/02/eliza-conquers-heartbreak-poetry-edition-2/

Espero, espero, y espero por tu llamada
para oír que mi soledad fue una pesadilla
Espero, espero, y espero que aparezcas en mi puerta
para decirme que todavía me deseas
Espero por tu carta por correo
diciéndome que me echas de menos

Posted on October 26, 2022August 6, 2022 by pattytacuri

Poem: Depression

I wrote in December of 2012 when I was amidst a great depression.

Recognizing the triggers of

My depression is one of

The hardest things I have to do

It’s when I’m silent

Wishing all the bad things

Would go away

It’s when I stop listening

To music

It’s when I struggle

To open my eyes

And face another dreadful day

Posted on October 25, 2022October 25, 2022 by pattytacuri

Poesia: Lo Siento Por Ti

Here is the English Version of this poem:

Poetry: So You

Lo siento por ti
piensas que has ganado
pero serás otra mujer usada
crees que te ama
pero es una de sus mentiras
piensas que el es tu príncipe azul
pero tu dignidad parara en el suelo
tienes un canalla y mentiroso a tu lado
que te dejará con un mal sabor en tu boca
no digo esto porque te tengo envidia
es una advertencia
para que no acabes como mi
otra de sus muchas mujeres
que el trate como una muñeca de trapo

Posted on October 24, 2022August 6, 2022 by pattytacuri

Poetry: Horizon

I wrote this in 2009 when I was feeling contemplative about life.

Horizon

The horizon stretches out before me
In a limitless manner
I see a future but am unsure
Of which path to walk towards
Everything is a blank slate to me
Undefined by my indecision
The moment I choose
Is the moment I’ll become
Something, anything
Than the nothingness
That I am

The horizon stretches out before me
Offering everything and nothing
Offering this or that
Offering a wasted life
Or a meaningful one

The horizon stretches out before me
And I need to stop
My hesitation
And become a person of actions
And do something, anything
So the horizon is not wasted

Posted on October 23, 2022October 22, 2022 by pattytacuri

Poesia: Otra Canción Melancólico

Here’s the English version of this poem:

https://lifeonthebpd.com/2021/10/13/poetry-same-old-ugly-song/

Pensaba que tu amor era como sueño celestial

me sentía bendecida

pero te volviste en una pesadilla infernal

y aprendí de nuevo

que tu eras otra canción melancólico

otro inútil más

mi amor se volvió en un mar de odio

me di cuenta muy tarde

Que estaba ciega

a que me estabas usando

y me lleno con un fuego de furia

Me hundí en una arena movediza de amargura

Desafortunadamente todavía me acuerdo

de nuestro amor y tu ternura

pero tú arruinaste eso cuando te fuiste con ella

Ojalá que te quedes con ella

porque ahora soy un nunca en tu vida

Quiero olvidarme de todo los que fuimos

porque estoy mejor sola que mal acompañada

tengo que aceptar la mentira que tu fuistes

tengo que aceptar que tu fuistes

otra canción melancólica

Posted on October 22, 2022August 6, 2022 by pattytacuri

Poetry: The Wound

I wrote this in 2008.

The Wound

It’s a wound that never closes
No matter how many years
are spent trying to close it

To taste the pure heaven that is you
and have it swept
from under me in a sudden swoop
made the everlasting wound

I looked everywhere
for somebody to help me close it
But no matter how hard
they tried, the wound
wouldn’t come close to closing

I finally met someone who lessened the pain
of the wound
with his gentle and understanding nature
But even after 6 years as his patient
the wound remains open

Posted on October 19, 2022October 19, 2022 by pattytacuri

Poesia: Otro Niño Confundido

Here is the English version of this poem:

https://lifeonthebpd.com/?p=1792

Eras un sorpresa lleno

de atención y afección

hasta me dejastes rosas en mi tablero

Pensé, por fin, llegó mi príncipe azul

Pero después de un tiempo

Sentí la distancia entre los dos

ya no tenías tiempo para mi

pronto me darás alguna excusa estúpida

porque me tienes que abandonar

y mi corazón quedará en pedazos

no habrá nada más que decir

me dare cuenta

que tu fuiste el mismo cuento

de otro niño confundido

Posted on October 18, 2022August 6, 2022 by pattytacuri

Poetry: Restless

I wrote this poem in 2008. One the BPD traits is feeling restless and oh my, I feel this a lot. Sometimes it’s for a few hours, sometimes it’s for a few days and I write about it.