I long to run free in a world free from prejudice and pride I long to run free in a world free from judgment and ignorance I long to run free in a world that accepts people like me I long to run free in a world where Iβm not hypervigilant about toning myself down
the shelf of my bookcase breaks, and my poetry notebooks fall every single one of my love stories scattered on the floor Failure after failure Were any of them worth the effort? Was the experience worth the suffering? Maybe it was for the inspiration behind my prose and poetry and the growth Iβve had Still, that doesnβt seem like an adequate answer
home is where poetry is where Iβm inspired Where I live life on my own terms without concern or worry about whether or not Iβm not enough or too much
the rocking chair tells a story about the white working class for the past 60 years from grandfather to father to sons from the greatest generation to the boomer generation to the boomer generation and skipped all the way to the zoomer and alpha generation (side note: the boomer knocked up a pretty little millennial thing in his late 40βs)
the rocking chair has seen the first man on the moon to the alpha losing his shit when tik tok went dark for several hours
the rocking chair tells a story of the white working class from breaking the generation curse of illiteracy to educational achievements from factory days to caseworker days to bolton hall days
the rocking chair holds the dreams, the hopes, the struggles of 4 generations of the white working class
Iho Place was my teenage dream that ended up in a nightmare thatβs where my Papi bought our first computer and how I wound up in an AOL chatroom for singles it would seal a fate I had not intended flirting with and meeting strange men would lead me to some dire consequences I got into my first toxic relationship who ghosted me after he went to rehab for his drug problem and I dissociated after the pain of abandonment I was desperate for love and validation and I met a man the man who I would make a baby with Iho Place saw the first 9 months of my son and the start of my relationship with depression looking back-maybe it was also the start of my BPD I remember walking with headphones and losing time it was hard to be at home with my parentβs silence and disap
sometimes I think my sins are the most interesting things about me Perhaps, thatβs why I worship them and keep making poems out of them Especially when I start to lose faith in myself especially when I start lose faith in myself and the universe and fill myself up with self hate and self loathing to crash out fantastically with pen and paper and write masterpieces
Kam Highway would see many changes in our family three teenagers in one house, our parents were saints at first we lived in abject poverty trying to find change in the secondhand couch for ramen or popcorn chicken or anything to put food in our tummies this apartment saw the awkwardness of my adolescence saw my brother almost fall into the wrong crowd saw my sister fall in and out of love until she finally landed her first husband next door and we had a pizzeria next door and also the interesting neighbors like the marine next door who beat his unfaithful wife or Tipper the stripper who was in a toxic relationship with the landlordβs son their song was Kiss and Say Goodbye by the Manhattans and the fun thanksgivings with all of the neighbors
Eventually I had to come up for air from my bubble and live in the real world where bills are piling up, people continue to crash out on my social media feed, and I face a constant existential dread constantly wondering if I am doing enough
Iβm paid less than everyone according to the statistics and itβs simply because of my ethnicity and gender at times I get mad about this but then Iβm like, it is what it is and wonβt change in the near future instead I continue to work hard for my and my kids betterment and try my best to live out my immigrant dream
your lips on mine taste like happiness on steroids is this what they call joy is this what they call euphoria are you the happy ending Iβve searching for since the age of 15 are you the reason that I want to burn down every poem inspired by lovers that arenβt yo
heβs loved me from the start even if Iβve been high maintenance his love has never wavered even when I came home pregnant at 17 he never took away his encouragement even though I married a man almost as old as him he is my papi- heβs not perfect in any shape,way or form but his love is almost close to perfect
spring love happened unexpectedly on our first date, he called me his Incan Queen and sent jolts of electricity though my body the first time he touched me and even though itβs too soon to say if this will be my last chapter in my book of lust and love and weβre only almost 3 months in what I can say is that this feel promising, worthy, and something simply with pure intentions that feels almost majestic
This is a poem I wrote in July. I was angry when I wrote it. Lol.
me on the 4th of July with my kiddo
celebrating a country that rips babies apart from their parents and takes away rights from the marginalized and makes anyone whoβs not white and christian feel unwelcome feels like the cruelest irony itβs celebrating genocide, racism, prejudice, xenophobia, and white supremacy itβs celebrating everything atrocious and wrong about this country it almost feels like a personal violation of my beliefs to celebrate the hypocrisy of this country founded on genocide and slavery who claims liberty and justice for all but βallβ is really white, christian and male so Iβm passing on this yearβs 4th of July celebrations because except for a small portion of Americans no one can claim true freedom or independence in this American Land
Hold onto joy and magic in times like these pause, breathe, drink water Remember your existence is resistance all of that pain, sorrow and grief felt in your body Alchemized it into poetry, art,a story or you could just scream and allow it to exist understand that the oppressors want to overwhelm you And make you crazy and over react using it as an excuse to frame you as the enemy protect your peace at all costs if someone threatens it, itβs a sign theyβve handed you a match to light up and burn their bridge to you and finally, Remember, the distress, the exhaustion is intentional to burn out your light Donβt let them
womenβs empowerment is sold and neatly packaged with sabrina carpenterβs new album always the heroine for this consumerist society even if the intentions feel a bit icky, feel a bit 1950s, with a man pulling her hair like a bitch giving off sub energy that feeds into the handmaiden narrative of America is trying to write for women and with the shitstorm of the past 2 weeks, I donβt feel sane enough to form an opinion yet, except that this feels like a weirdly perverse distraction from the rise of fascism taking place in our country