I wrote this in March of 2004 when I was feeling nostalgic about Lucas.
So many things left unsaid
the day you decided to get away
So much left undone
Because I was no longer fun
So many tears I had cried
Asking myself a thousand whys?
Why did you leave?
I thought we were a perfect fit.
What was wrong with us?
That made you leave in a rush
Why did you break my heart?
by pulling us apart
And why didn’t you love me so?
It’s excruciating to let you go
I wrote this in February of 2004 when I was feeling nostalgic about Lucas.
I sit here at what once was our “spot”
and contemplate our last conversation
And I think over and over again how that last phrase got to
“Me and my wife had a long talk-and we decided to work things out”
I know I should have been happy but I was sad
I know I should’ve smiled but instead I cried
Of course I hid this very well from you
And the few words I could muster up was
“Well that’s good, I’m happy for you”
And I wonder why when I should’ve been happy for you, my friend
But I was sad for me
I sit down and wonder why
I always end up with the same lost guy
Who doesn’t know what he wants and hurts me tons
Who uses me just as an escape
to get away from his mate
Who never wants to tell me I love you
and thinks of me as anything but the one
who never cares after our tragic love affair fails
Escribi este poema pensando como seria si me encontraba con Lucas de nuevo.
Tantas veces que yo soné
con volverte a ver
Y ahora que estás aquí
ya no sé qué decir
ni cómo actuar
no se la diferencia
si esto es una fantasía
o una dulce realidad
Lo único que se
es que esta vez
No voy a soltar
esta milagrosa oportunidad
de volverte a conocer
Y amarte otra vez
I wrote this in February of 2004 after my car accident after I was feeling lost and deep sense of despair and worthlessness. It was a trauma that would affect me for many years to come. I’ll tell the story of the accident one day when I’m ready to.
Last week I was where I needed to be
Today I am lost again with no sense of who I am
Or where I want to go
They tell me I’m a mother, daughter, coworker,
Student, sister, and girlfriend
But I don’t seem be right fit into any of those roles
So can somebody instruct me
on how to get to where I once was
Or more importantly on how to be happy just to be me
I wrote this shortly in February of 2004 shortly after my car accident. I was feeling so much depression and anxiety because of it.
I feel so lost
without sense of direction
So many feelings of frustration
over my life’s woes
Feelings of rejection
by the ones who once loved me
Feelings of anger
for never doing anything right
Where can I find the shining light
that I desperately seek?
Escribi este poema en Marzo de 2003 cuando estuve visitando Hawaii y pensaba en mi pasado.
Estoy en el mismo lugar
donde era una adolecente inmadura,
Impulsiva, e insegura
pero ahora soy otra
Una que piensa antes de arriesgar
una que mirar antes de pisar
Una que trata de olvidar
Antes de contemplar todo
lo que no fue de su vida