feet washed and kissed in front of others everyone calls her blessed and lucky no one knows about the scars she hides beneath her lilac modest dress no one believes her if she told them what a monster he was behind closed doors
weβre in our saorsa era, redemptive and honest a complete 180 turn to who we were before a story I like so much better than our last one always said I was a much better friend and girlfriend
I shouldnβt wish death upon anyone but I wish death upon you the minute your child posted about your open heart surgery and immediately , it makes sense, a man with a weak mind has an even weaker heart I shouldnβt wish death upon anyone but I wish death upon you couldnβt you die on the operating table? you never deserved your life with your beautiful children you-who made me carry the burden of shame and guilt for years and years I shouldnβt wish death upon anyone but I wish death upon you you-who desecrated my morality and ethics through your domestic authority I shouldnβt wish death upon anyone but I wish death upon you because someone like doesnβt deserve to breathe the same breath of real human beings
Cowboy with your boots and maga hat Stay away from me forget I ever existed forget that once upon a time I was your wendy to your peter forget I always flew to you when you texted me
I should go back to where I come from and where is that exactly here -is the only real home I’ve ever known here – is where all of my babies were born here- is where I’ve loved and I’ve mourned so where is my place because anywhere else feels like a home unknown
hot summer nights on your porch meant the world to me and inspired an unusual amount of poems Iβm starting to think that writing poems is how I hold onto the magic of our memories
Calladita calladita me quedo siempre para no molestar a mami que viene cansada segundo trabajo soy una chica que me trago mis palabras acerca del chico que me pellizcΓ³ el trasero aunque me siento sucia no quiero que mami piense que hice algo malo para que me falten el respeto soy una seΓ±orita de una buena familia calladita calladita escondo mis libras de mΓ‘s bajo los Blue Jeans anchos de mi hermano ni siquiera le mencionΓ³ a mi madre que hace meses no me baja la regla
longing to escape responsibility of my suburban life I became 21 again and did drugs and fucked stranger men I never meant any harm, I just wanted to know what it was like to not be looked at as someoneβs mother, someoneβs wife
in total darkness I fell for a while for a year I didnβt listen to music For a year I donβt remember being a mom and while I still function and went to work Several years later I realize how I had forgotten all about the darkness I had fallen in a while ago my mind blocked it in an attempt to move on in an attempt to heal
Sept of 1986-me blowing out a candle right before me and my family started our immigration journey-my aunt had a goodbye party for us
When I was little, I was often lost in daydreams about America It was beautiful and blue I pictured a celestial and warm ocean where the waves tenderly touch my toes I was taught it was a better existence than the one we were living in but no one told me that dreams sometimes donβt come true and the reality of America was filled with a hardness that even 35 years later Iβm still processing indentured servitude, exploitation, depression, addiction,racism, mental illness were just a few side effects of going for the American dream
kept the dead rose petals along with your note as long as I could it was the first time a man had acknowledged me worthy enough of a rose and at 16, that was everything
I donβt want to but have to be the boss the boss of my family the boss in my relationships the boss of my life it sucks to take charge and dominate all of the spaces it sucks to have so many responsibilities thrust upon me it sucks to always have to shrink myself for egos it sucks to never be in a space where for once I can be soft
not much of choice, get married or become a whore at 19, she was trapped between a sword and another sword either way sheβs trapped and kept away from the life she really wanted to live either way, her fate would be sealed with her ink of shame