escribí este poema en mayo del 2025.
mi tienes tierna y suave como algodón que se deshace
y me pregunto cuanto esto durará
cuando me convertiré en algo inconveniente para ti
poesia: algodón
poetry: almodóvar
I wrote this poem in May of 2019.
And so she self medicated
with sleeping pills, alcohol
and Almodovar films
she wanted to drown out
the feelings of worthlessness
within her
she was exhausted
from repeating the same lust story
she needed just for today
to numb out her feelings,
to escape the fire in her brain
that burns with self-pity and self hate
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poetry: silver lining
I wrote this poem in May of 2025.
phosphene blooms across the room
when I catch you staring at me
and I feel an electric shock go through me
this feels like a new kind of crazy
this feels like a new stirring of hope
I never expected to feel this way ever again
And this feels like my silver lining
a long time coming
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poetry: past misadventures
I wrote this poem in May of 2024.
charcoal lights up the grill, my son draws a silly drawing on the pavement
today the summer breeze hits as we drink and laugh about our past misadventures
about how dramatic I used to be
about how sensitive you once were
how everything is trauma deconstructed and put to rest
and only positive energy exchanged between us
Building each other up every step of our lives
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poetry: temptation
I wrote this poem in May of 2025.
temptation all around me to repeat the same unhealthy stories
to the sabotage the healthy energy in front of me
it would be so easy to do so
allow it all to combust in front of me
but I won’t
this time I’ll be different
this time I’ll do my best to make it work
this time he knew the poet in me before he met me
and I have no hidden corners of myself left
and with all that said
I know we have a chance of making it
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poetry: mommy guilt
I wrote this poem in May of 2024.
I spiral into a circle of mommy guilt
guilt over being the selfish and self absorbed
during your formative years
guilt over giving my attention to futile and idiotic love stories
when I should have been focusing on you
guilt that maybe if I had been more patient, more nurturing,
you wouldn’t be filled with so much uncertainty about your future
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poetry: different
I wrote this poem in May of 2025.
Wish I could say I’m a chill and cool kind of girl when it comes to love
but I’m not
because once I’m into you and I let you in
it will be hard to get rid of me
because I am a nurturer and I’ll love you with my whole heart
and I’ll make you the center of my world and find ways for us to get closer
wait, wait, wait
this version of me no longer exist
she went up in flames a few years back
Nowadays, the slightest sirens go off in me and I want to run away and block him
Cease and desist any evidence of him, the slightest offence
and it takes everything out of me to remember my skills learned in therapy
Tell him, I need a bit of time to process and we’ll talk in the morning
I know that after a good night’s sleep, I’ll look at things differently
and won’t fuck up my new love story because of a single simple misunderstanding
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poetry: worthy
I wrote this poem in May of 2024.
whoever is worthy and good for me will have to be more than worthy,
more than good enough for my boys
above everything else they’ll have to understand and respect
the relationship I have with my sons
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poetry: wolf
I wrote this poem in May of 2025.
I’m the girl who screamed wolf in love in my poems one too many times
always acting like I’m the victim
always acting like I’m the hurt party
always acting like I’m fucked over in love when the truth is
I too have broken hearts
I too am shit at relationships
I too dispose of men once they fall off from my pedestal
and so perhaps, I need to stop screaming wolf
and accept that every once in a while
I am the wolf who’s capable of destroying and disposing of people as well
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poetry: almost 13
I wrote this poem in May of 2024.
I gave birth to the sun on the sunniest of June days
and almost 13 years later
he’s becoming the moon
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poetry: exorcism
I wrote this poem in May of 2025.
I need to exorcize you and you out of me before I step into a new chapter of love
It’s not fair to him to allow past chapters to haunt me and make me question my sanity
and maybe that’s ghosting you and sharing our story of toxic love in spanish
and while my methods may be a tad questionable
it’s the best I can do for now and for me, it’s enough
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poetry: motherhood
I wrote this poem in May of 2024.
there are days I don’t feel strong enough to be their mom
maybe it’s insecurity that weighs heavily on me
after every fight, after every conflict
it was easier when they were small
and I was their favorite person
the one they ran to the moment I opened the door
nowadays I work much and they have their own interests
to have much to do with me
nowadays they bring up grievances of everything
I’ve done and am doing wrong
is this karma for being a bad daughter to my mom
is this karma for being selfish and self absorbed
for a few years of their lives
Who knows-
maybe it’s not about being strong, being right,
or being respected
maybe it’s about them knowing they are loved
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poetry: dreams
I wrote this poem in May of 2025.
you creep into my dreams once again and I hate my brain for it/can’t it understand there’s nothing left to say/there’s no need for closure/this distance is better for both of us/besides there’s no coming back from this
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poetry: boy to man
I wrote this poem in May of 2024.
miss the days when I was your favorite person, when you greeted me with excitement
when we played candyland for your hours
Nowadays. I’m lucky to get a “hi” from you, nowadays, I hear more from you
through cashapp than IRL
nowadays when I ask you about your day, you murmur a one word response
and overnight you went from my sweet cherub to a tall and lanky stranger
I don’t recognize and while I still hear you play with your legos
I know those days are coming to an end soon
While growing up is inevitable to the passage of time
it’s still heartbreaking and painful
because you’re the last one of my trinity
making the transition from boy to man
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poetry: demons
I wrote this poem in May of 2025.
can’t seem to get away from my demons no matter how fast i run,
no matter how healed I claim to be
they always haunt me in my dreams, or when I’m at my most vulnerable
and happy thinking life might finally be going right for me
But out of the blue, my new boyfriend annoys me,
unexpected bills show up, my stalker is back and creeping on my blog,
and I fight with my teenage son
I wonder what did I do to piss off the universe this time
Life on the BPD 