I wrote this poem in March of 2025.

kept trying to find the God of my youth in men
but instead I kept becoming a martyr over and over
again
I wrote this poem in February of 2023.

Iβm soldier of love
too lost battles for me to count and recount
how many times Iβve had to stitch my heart over and over again
from the many knives past lovers have stabbed me with
with the last one, I almost lost all hope for love
It made me lose my sanity and almost gave me PTSD
Still the romantic in me refused to die
and resurfaced this year
Told me, βthis time it will be different, this time you have self respect
and youβll be choosy over whoβs worthy of your love energyβ
I wrote this poem in February of 2025.

raindrops serendipiciously hit the window panes of our room
and the wind sings a song everyone can hear
I lay on your chest in our bed in awe of what just happened
caught lovestruck with a smile of love
thankful for this second chance at marriage
for so long I thought I was doomed to be alone
never expected to find you
especially the way you showed up in my life
and now there isnβt a space between us
and you look at me with goofy smile of yours
the one that inspires the poet in me and say
βwe need to make up for lost timeβ
I wrote this poem in February of 2023.

Yβall should have known better than to fuck with me
trying me on while I was still finding my footing as a woman
to lust after me because of my curves and pretty face
Never thinking my brain was still developing
Never weighing the consequences of how your selfish ways
would hurt me
Instead I was just fodder for your game of lust-
and you became inspiration for stories and poems about trauma
I still wonder who I would turned out to be-
if only you two would have left me alone
I wrote this poem in February of 2025.

between heartbeats and honeysuckle, they fell in love
this time, it was different for both of them
this time it didnβt take much to see that both of them
Wanted to exchange I dos
this time they believed in forever and happily ever after
I wrote this poem in February of 2025.

With a fiery madness, she survived and made it out alive
tragedy after tragedy, diagnosis after diagnosis
she questioned how or why she did it
Many stood astonished at how she kept herself together
and composed even as her life and her body fell apart
but after a while it was easy for her to triumph
after every devastating plot twist
she was something else
a mixture of manic pixie girl and goddess
she was special
escribi este poema en febrero del 2023.

la desgracia me desgasta y casi me mata
porque amo en una forma inmensa y pura
y cuando el amor me abandona quiero morir
y digo, esta ΓΊltima desgracia se siente como un terremoto catastrΓ³fico
y prefiero cortarme mis venas que sentir esto denuevo
I wrote this poem in February of 2025.

scattered memories of you and I are tossed into the bonfire
pictures, poems, and letters never sent burn and burn
and I watch understanding this is our closure
and our chapter is finally closed
and I needed the bonfire and a final curtain call
on an early February night to put us behind
I wrote this poem in February of 2023.

this is a dangerous road Iβm traveling on
smiling at your messages
Creating a playlist inspired by you
romanticizing every interaction we have
liking every single one of your posts
Wondering if youβre safe enough
To get to know you
beyond the walls of this simple friendship
I wrote this poem in February of 2025.

my pleas for love fall on the deaf ears of the universe
I scoff and get angry with her
Wondering whatβs left to heal
whatβs left for closure
whatβs wrong with me that I need to fix in order
to attract someone to love for the crazy, creative
and complex woman that I am
I wrote this poem in February of 2023.

middle age me is not seeking revenge on all who caused me trauma
Iβm simply trying to make sense of the fuckery that happened to me
Iβm simply trying to address the unhealed trauma that still lies
within me and haunts me in my dreams
Iβm trying to process and understand that I never deserved any of it
Iβm trying to get rid of that shame and guilt Iβve carried from it
and while sometimes that looks vindictive
Iβm sorry but the only way to my journey in healing work
is through uninhibited storytelling
I wrote this poem in February of 2025.

help her find hope after becoming the worst version of herself
after getting herself entangled with men who did nothing
but hurt her
help her find grace after the fall from the altar of love
men placed her on and she turned into a monster
who resembled medusa
help her find a path to enlightenment and purpose
after she once again drowns in waves
nostalgia and grief over what could have been
I wrote this poem of February of 2025.

one day Iβll meet a man who wonβt be afraid to take my hand
and declare his love for me in public
one day Iβll meet a man who wonβt have eyes for another body
other than mine
One day Iβll meet a man whose values aligns with mine
One day Iβll meet a man whoβs always looking for ways
to evolve and better himself
One day Iβll meet a man who wonβt run away from his emotions
and confront them head on even when it hurts
one day Iβll meet a man whoβll want to make me his
for the rest of his life without blinking an eye
and say Iβm one the best things thatβs ever happened to him