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poetry: when I’m 54

I wrote this poem in June of 2025.

I hope to continue to be this person when I’m 54

When I’m 54, I want some things to stay the same and others to change
I want to love freely unafraid and unashamed and without apologies
without the anxiety I have right now that one day he’ll leave
I want to have the same creative energy that motivates me,
and continue to share mine and my family’s stories
that will continually be seen and make me succeed
I want to not worry so much if it’s a matter of when this epidemic
of violence and madness reaches someone in my family
or live with the fear one of my loved ones will be detained
I want to have hope for the future of my children and descendents
that when I leave this earth things will be better for them
because I did the work so they didn’t suffer and can enjoy life a bit more
also , I want to be filled with financial stability where I’m not doing financial gymnastics
to pay my bills on time and an no longer a slave to my debt
but mostly when I’m 54, I want to have evolved as a healer
who continues to share her light in this world as a poet, writer, and storyteller

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Poetry: I Wonder

I wrote this poem in June of 2022.


I”m a complete disaster when it comes to love, well, romantic love
but I’m great at other kinds of love
Loving my children, adoring my friends, worshiping my parents
and of course filling myself with self love
but still I wonder if somewhere in this big wide world
exist an almost ideal lover
who’ll bring out my best and love me at my worse
who won’t put me on a pedestal
and doesn’t scare easily and leave
when he sees all of me

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poetry: resistance

I wrote this poem in June of 2025.

Hold onto joy and magic in times like these
pause, breathe, drink water
Remember your existence is resistance
all of that pain, sorrow and grief felt in your body
Alchemized it into poetry, art,a story
or you could just scream and allow it to exist
understand that the oppressors want to overwhelm you
And make you crazy and over react
using it as an excuse to frame you as the enemy
protect your peace at all costs
if someone threatens it, it’s a sign they’ve
handed you a match to light up
and burn their bridge to you
and finally,
Remember, the distress, the exhaustion is intentional
to burn out your light
Don’t let them

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Poetry: Avoidance

I wrote this poem in June of 2022.

Is this a new kind of avoidance?
Blocking and escaping any new love possibility-
or maybe I finally understand
How much I value my solitude
Maybe I’m finally enjoying an inner peace and calm
that comes with being alone
Maybe I’ve finally learned I really am enough on my own

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poetry:messy

I wrote this poem in June of 2025.

dating a soldier in not for the weak in these modern time
especially now with a civil war and WW3 on the horizon
our new love story could be cut short if he’s deployed
Things can get complicated and messy
if end up dehumanizing or ripping apart families like mine
because its his job
it makes me wonder if we were foolish in the throwing caution
to the wind and getting into a relationship
it makes me wonder if we have any chance of working out

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Paula by Isabel Allende *spoiler alert*

Paula by Isabel Allende

If you could change the ending of any book, which one would it be?

I’ve recently finished rereading Paula by Isabel Allende. It’s a memoir that Isabel Allende wrote while her daughter was in a coma. Allende wrote about the extra ordinary life she’s lived. Like that woman went through a lot of hardships, from being raised by a single mom in 1940s Chile to moving around a lot because of her step-dad’s job to being exiled in the 70s and she had to seek out refuge in Venezuela. She wrote this book with hope that her daughter would wake up from her coma to read it. Sadly, that didn’t happen because her daughter died at the end. So, I wish I could change that part and that some kind of miracle would have come through for Paula and she would have woken up from her coma.

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Poetry: I don’t Care

I wrote this poem in June of 2022.

I’m not trying to be rude, I’m not trying to be mean
but I can wear whatever I want, I can post whatever I want
Your reaction to any of it is not my responsibility
I don’t care if you acquire a thirst for me
and delude yourself into thinking you love me
I’m just woman sharing my story however I see fit
in order for me to heal, in order for me to help others
feel a bit seen
I’m not here for some random man to tried
to persuade into a love story I’ll never be
interested in writing

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poetry: prima Jessica

I wrote this poem in June of 2025.

me and cousin Jessica in the 80s

compassion and hope appear in a phone call from my prima
right before I give in to my hate and anger
right before I let my rage control me and make it into a weapon
of destruction
she reminds me that this is not who I am and to choose forgiveness
and empathy for those who hurts us for they don’t know what they do
and I wonder if it was an intervention from God, the universe,
reminding me that revenge and the wrath of my anger is not the answer
and instead I should look to love and wisdom passed down from my ancestors
for the confusion and frustration turned into rage that lies within me

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poesía: el problema

escribí este poema en junio de 2022.

verdad

Te dije que no estaba preparada
pero no me quisistes escuchar
Y insististe, insististe que yo era la única para ti
que tu me amabas
nunca me preguntastes sobre mi comodidad
nunca me preguntaste si estaba bien
mandarme piropos y fotos sensuales
Y cuando te pedí respecto a mi persona
me acusaste de ser otra loca más

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poetry: under siege

I wrote this poem in June of 2025.

my beloved LA is under siege
the place that saw my immigrant child self grow,
and learn English
the place my parents decided to make their new home
the place with tastiest hot dogs at culver city mall

my beloved LA is under siege
and all I can do is watch the carnage be livestreamed
and I’m transported once again to the L.A riots in 1992
when I was 11 and violence and madness
was a stone’s throw away from our small apartment
while mami pretends nothing’s happening
as she cooks dinner
and we’re all glued to the TV

my beloved LA is under siege
and I couldn’t be prouder of my people standing loud
and with a firm grip of love and justice
for the most vulnerable of us
whose only crime was to come this country
in search for a better life

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poetry: Closing the Door

I wrote this poem in June of 2022.

closing the door to love is filling up every moment I’m awake
with work,therapy, my kids activities, time with friends,
Exercise, facing fears, writing, writing, and more writing
because I want to be so busy I don’t have time to think-
to think about romance, to think about what could have been
to think about how nice it is to have someone
so instead, I fill up every second of my life
with everything that fuels my growth
so I don’t have time to think about this love nonsense

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poetry: American idiots

I wrote this poem in June of 2025.

we get up and live our daily lives, work, go to school, show up to jury duty
while the new regime is on a warpath to destroy the lives of the most vulnerable
of the marginalized, of those who are not white, cis, and male
we get and continue to live as if the American Gestapo isn’t ripping families apart
and as if city after city isn’t been torn apart and turned into a warzone

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You

A scene from the last season of “You”

What’s a book, movie, or TV show that you wish you could experience again for the first time?

I really wish I could experience watching the show “You” all over again. For a while, I was super obsessed with it and even wrote an essay about relating to the main character “Joe” which I even posted on my blog.  I unpublished it because later on, I found it way too personal and a bit cringe but it was still a great essay. 😞 But of, this was before I finished therapy. Oh, and also wrote poems inspired by “Joe”. Now, those are somewhere on my blog. Now, I’m too sane to relate in even the mildest of ways to Joe. Sad times. 😞 Actually,  I think at this point, it’s just impossible for me to crush on or like anyone. 🤔

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poesía: mi libertad

escribí este poema en junio del 2022.

Después de ti, llego mi libertad
porque me liberé de mi propio juzgamiento
porque me libere de pensar que solo podía
encontrar el amor en los brazos de un hombre
porque me libere de ser una princesa sumisa
que daria todo por tenerte a ti
y ahora que tengo mi libertad
por fin tengo mi felicidad

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poetry: not in the mood

I wrote this poem in June of 2025.

not feeling romantic lately as my community is torn apart
and cruelty is served to them by this administration with no end date
as I watch America’s Gestapo treat my people as worse than animals
but somehow I’m suppose to block this all out
and reply to your sext about all the ways I want you
to ravage me