Posted on by elizadalton

Poetry: Therapy

I wrote this poem in March of 2022.

me in March of 2022

this year I lost myself in poetry
to help with unexpected loss and grief
to make sense of my nonsense
and I discovered my voice
And I discovered my brand of crazy
and there’s hardly a day that goes by
without using poetry as therapy
I no longer filter myself, I no longer judge myself
I allow whatever swims in my mind to land on paper
and sometimes it profound and great
Sometimes it’s emotional and angry
but most of the time it heals something within
Maybe poetry should be my new lover
because it’s always rescued me
from my chaos of emotional instability

Posted on by elizadalton · 2 Comments

Poetry: Acceptance

I wrote this poem in March of 2022.

me in March of 2022

I fell into the trap of “acceptance”
not understanding I was slowly losing parts of myself
for the sake of fitting in, for the sake of other people
who loved to judge me
accept that you’re too fat to wear that bikini
accept that you’re too old to chase your dreams
accept that you’re too hard to love
it took me too long to figure out
the acceptance of others was costing me
my sanity and my self worth
and I said, “fuck your opinions on who I should be”
from now on, I’ll wear whatever I want,
I’ll chase my dreams, and I’ll always be worthy of love”

Posted on by elizadalton · 2 Comments

Poetry: Daydreaming about America

I wrote this in March of 2022.

Sept of 1986-me blowing out a candle right before me and my family started our immigration journey-my aunt had a goodbye party for us

When I was little, I was often lost in daydreams
about America
It was beautiful and blue
I pictured a celestial and warm ocean
where the waves tenderly touch my toes
I was taught it was a better existence than
the one we were living in
but no one told me that dreams sometimes
don’t come true
and the reality of America was filled with a hardness
that even 35 years later I’m still processing
indentured servitude, exploitation, depression,
addiction,racism, mental illness were just a few side effects
of going for the American dream

Posted on by elizadalton

Poetry: State of Modern Womanhood

I wrote this poem in December of 2021. I was kind of angry. Lol.

performing this poem at open mic in October of 2022

Let’s hashtag the fuck out of our imperfect perfect lives
smile for the camera but make it look candid
this is for instagram after all-
we want to present an image of authenticity
Authentic needs to look put together and balanced
there can be no cracks in our suburban realities
no one wants to see tears and frowns
let’s continue to act like modern clowns
except our lipsticks presents a false smile
that hides our misery inside and let’s add a witty caption
that spells out live,laugh, love
and hashtags about #momlife,#gratitude, and #bestlifeever
depression, sadness, and anger has no room in our modern world
where we pretend to be perfectly imperfect moms and wives
with these amazing and perfect lives
let’s continue the facade of authenticity
even as we burn inside and want to die
we are not just okay but we are fucking fabulous
so honey continue to smile for that selfie
even as the expectations of modern womanhood
continues to burn us all up

Posted on by elizadalton

The Work Blues

I’ve made taking selfies at work part of my routine at work
I bring style, beauty, and entertainment to my job-they’re lucky to have me

Do you enjoy your job?

It’s a moody Monday full of dread and adult angst
but to work I go even though I don’t want to
I’m rather stay home creating new worlds
that bleed from my mind
in my sweats and sans bra
but bills need to be paid
so I put on appropriate attire to face
my Monday to Friday hostage situation
put on my customer service voice I’ve perfected
and turn on my fake positivity
all because my passion doesn’t pay the bills yet
but it’s okay, i say to myself
because this hostage situation
is temporary

Posted on by elizadalton · 2 Comments

Uncomfortable

Describe the last difficult “goodbye” you said.

in order to grow, we must lose parts of ourselves that hold us back from reaching our potential

saying goodbye to the version of me I used to be was uncomfortable and agonizing
even as I lost her in parts
first came the extra pounds and inches I ran off from the curvy girl who used food as comfort
and for a while a stranger stared at me from the mirror as I wondered where my cleavage went
or how my waistline got so small
then came the spectator and the passenger I lost as I gained confidence and power in sharing my truth, in sharing my art and I became the main character and the driver of my own life
finally I lost the princess who held onto others for safety, who relied on others for acceptance and love-she left on a windy October day when she conquered a phobia that haunted her for 15 years
saying goodbye to the version of me I used to be was uncomfortable and agonizing
but she couldn’t stay around if I wanted to grow, to evolve, to become the mother my children
always deserved, to become the woman I always wanted to be

Posted on by elizadalton · 6 Comments

Poetry: A Knock on My Door

I wrote this poem in February of 2022.

this kid makes my dark days worth living

When darkness comes in and my sadness sets in
it covers me and I can’t see the point of it all
And then I hear a knock and it’s my son
And I remember, today he’s my life’s purpose
I need to get up and face another dreadful day
My child needs food and shelter
I can’t let my depression win
I’m a mother first
My darkness will have to be martyred
Remembering over and over again
on days like today my child’s presence
makes my bad days worth living

Posted on by elizadalton · 1 Comment

Poetry: Existing

I wrote this poem in February of 2022.

Existing was this never ending sorrow
Existing was a “what the point of it all” status
Existing was a horrible and exhausting nightmare
I couldn’t want to wake up from
But now..
Existing is welcoming the excitement of the morning sun
Existing is looking forward to my next chapter
Existing is a hopeful and lovely dream
I’m currently living in

Posted on by elizadalton · 2 Comments

Poetry: Restless and Unsettled

Aqui esta la version en Espanol:

https://lifeonthebpd.com/2021/12/17/poesia-inquieta/

I am restless and unsettled
realizing you never loved me
I was just another girl to you
nothing special, nothing meaningful
just someone temporary to pass the time with
I’m growing tired of this repetitive story
Another love that expires when I ask
for something more
Another story that starts off with so much promise
only to end up as another tragedy

Posted on by elizadalton · 2 Comments

Poetry: Fighting

I wrote this in January of 2022. I was angry.

I ask myself this question every day

Fighting for my cause
I question everything I learned
I take time to pause
my childhood lies burn
and make feel lost

Fighting for my family
I get so fucking angry
Why are people so shitty?
insulting my ancestry-
projecting their insecurities onto me-
Wait, are they jealous of me?

Fighting for my life
I pause of a while
thinking about all of my strife
and the past I need to reconcile
to move forward with my life
but this fight is worthwhile

Posted on by elizadalton

Play- Transition: Scene Three

Here is the link to scene 2: https://wp.me/p23LY2-1qu

Scene 3

Setting: Ron’s apartment. It is the same chaotic mess that we have seen before in scene 1. Chloe and Landon are standing outside Ron’s door. LANDON has a suit on while CHLOE has some kind of bohemian ensemble. Landon knocks strongly

Ron opens the door and answers it. Ron’s face looks angry for a minute but quickly changes when he sees LANDON.

RON: Hi son. Well it’s nice to see ya (he almost shuts the door on Chloe)

CHLOE: Um..hmm

RON: (turns to CHLOE): Oh, it’s you

CHLOE: You know, a nice hello would have been sufficient.

RON: (turns to LANDON) Have a seat son.Would you like something to drink?

Landon is kind of looking around at all of the chaotic mess of piles everywhere. He tries really hard to hide the disdainful and disgusted look on his face but can’t. 

LANDON: I’m fine. 

RON: Okay, to what do I owe the pleasure of you coming around. I haven’t seen you for months. 

LANDON: (Clearing his throat) It seems that uh…you are in a dire situation and 

RON: Oh, I see, your little sister got to you. Didn’t she? Well, I’ll tell you right now, she’s worrying you for nothing. Your old man’s alright.

LANDON: You see dad, you are about to be put out of your apartment at the end of the month.

RON: You’re crazy. That ole biddy has been threatening that—

LANDON: Dad! Listen to me, it’s all right here in the contract you signed last time you renewed your lease agreement. 

 (LANDON takes a contract out of the suitcase. RON snatches it, looks it over, his face goes pale with a deer in the headlights look

RON: Well,I’ll…37 years and I have never been late on paying rent. 37 years, your ma and I made this our home. I just can’t—

LANDON: Dad, um

CHLOE pats RON on the back. 

CHLOE: It’s okay dad. Everything will be alright.

RON: I just don’t know what I’m gonna do.

CHLOE: That’s why we’re here. To help you with everything. 

CHLOE hugs RON while LANDON looks on awkwardly. 

Curtain comes down.

Posted on by elizadalton

Play-Transition: Scene Two

Here is a link to the first scene:https://wp.me/p23LY2-1qp

Scene 2: 

SETTING: Landon’s apartment. The aesthetic in this apartment is minimalist There are no stray things around. There is a very expensive looking sculpture. Landon has a very simple geometric painting. There is a glass coffee table at the center and really sparse furniture. CHLOE is at the door ready to knock. LANDON is in an expensive jog suit and on his laptop writing a business negotiation. 

CHLOE knocks tentatively on LANDON’s door, Landon looks through his smallish peephole, sighs deeply, plasters a forced smile on his face and opens the door. 

LANDON: Chloe, hi! To what do I owe the pleasure of having my little sister come over here unannounced. Do you want a drink ?

CHLOE: (goes to sit down slowly on the expensive chair) No…uhh..I wouldn’t have come over if I didn’t think it was important. 

LANDON: Well, you know, you could always send me a text or call me.

CHLOE: You never answer your phone or reply to my texts. Besides, this is really important. 

LANDON: Well, you know, I’m a busy guy. You could have a little more consider-

CHLOE gets frustrated and yells.

CHLOE: It’s about dad!

LANDON: Jesus! You’re on that business again. I thought I had already made it clear to you what needs to be done.

CHLOE: No,you didn’t. You’ve skirted around the issue without resolving anything.

LANDON: What is there to resolve? He seems okay living by himself. 

CHLOE: You only see him once a month at the most . He’s struggling and doesn’t want to admit it. He’s not only holding on to mom’s old stuff but is accumulating new stuff as a way to deal with his grief. And to make matters worse, the landlord is about to put him out. We need to reason with him. 

LANDON: How is the landlord going to put him out ? I give the old biddy a little something extra so she doesn’t bother him. 

CHLOE: You don’t understand.It’s not about money, they want him out because dad has basically made the place a hazard. We need to help dad. 

LANDON: And what is your suggestion. Einstein?

CHLOE: Well, you know, he could always move in with you.

LANDON: Like hell he can. Listen, I got a better suggestion. I put up the money, you make all the arrangements and we put him in one of those assisted living places. He’ll be surrounded by –

CHLOE: Are you nuts? A nursing home because you don’t want your life inconvenience

LANDON: I don’t see what’s so bad—

CHLOE: It will kill him! He will hate it. You can’t always just throw money at every fucking problem. You are such a selfish jerk. 

LANDON: And you are a mindless little idiot. Are you done now?

CHLOE: (feeling rather defeated and sighs) Will you at least come with me to reason with him. He won’t listen to me but at least he will listen to you, his favorite child.

LANDON: Sure. I need to see when I’m free. Maybe next week, I could pencil something—

CHLOE: God damnit! Don’t you understand that the situation is urgent? He could be out on the street by the end of the week.

LANDON: Must you always be such a drama queen?

CHLOE: Ugh..there no use talking to you (Chloe mutters under breath, you just don’t fucking care)

LANDON: What did you say?

CHLOE: Nothing.

LANDON: Fine, I’ll go with you this Wednesday afternoon.

CHLOE: Okay.

CHLOE  slams the door and sighs deeply.

Posted on by elizadalton · 3 Comments

Play-Transition: Scene One

Characters: RON- age 67
CHLOE-age 24
LANDON-age 36

Scene 1

Setting

Ron’s Apartment, there are piles of stuff everywhere, picture frames hanging on the wall. Ron is sitting on the couch chewing beef jerky watching the TV. There is a knock on the door. It is his daughter Chloe . It’s about 3 PM and Ron is still in his pajamas. Ron, disgruntled, gets up to answer the door. Chloe is carrying a bunch of groceries in her hand.

RON:( opens door) Whadda ya want?
CHLOE: Oh geesh! Is that any way to greet your loving daughter ?
RON: Eh, you were interrupting me doing something important.
CHLOE: Sure, sure… now could you help me out wit one of of these bags before one of my arms falls off.
RON: (he takes one of the bags) Eh-I don’t know why you need to buy all of this stuff.
CHLOE: You mean your medicines, food, basic necessities for you to survive on. A basic ( CHLOE almost trips on a miscellaneous food wrapping) thank you would suffice. I told you to clean up some yesterday-you know the landlord—
RON: Landlord, shmanlord, She always threatens the same crap. “I will throw you out if you don’t clean. All bark, no bite. The old biddy shouldn’t care about what I do in the comfort of my own home as long as I pay her rent.
CHLOE: (starts to sit down-removing several car magazines) I wouldn’t be so sure of this. You know she has handed management over to her son. Do you really need all of these issues of Car and Ride magazines?
RON: Bug off! Will you? Nobody asks you to come over!
CHLOE: Dad (CHLOE goes to RON to put her hand on RON’s shoulder) It’s been over six months since mom died, perhaps-

RON shoos CHLOE’s hand away

RON: I don’t want to talk about it. It’s none of your damn business!
CHLOE: I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to…it’s just—
RON: Nothing. You are worrying about nothing.

There is an awkward moment of silence as RON has his back to CHLOE. CHLOE is trying to come up with something to say.

CHLOE: I guess I should go (CHLOE starts to get up tentatively) I have another errand to run.
RON: Good. I wouldn’t want your old man getting in the way of you doing anything important.
CHLOE: God! I just wish you wouldn’t be so…
RON: So what?
CHLOE: Nothing. I’ll leave you to your “important” tv watching.

CHLOE skips swiftly to the door

CHLOE: Bye dad.

RON goes back to sitting on the couch with a blank look on his face and stares at the TV.