karma bit me and now Iβm paying for all of my emotional crimes now Iβm met with silence and indifference and I go and examine what was the final straw which post led you over the ledge from friendship to being acquaintances once again
I wrote this in 2019 when I was reflecting about the way men have often objectified in a way thatthey almost always seem to just want the fun and sexy part of me but seem to often have problems seeing the rest of me. I’ve almost always felt like I’ve been good enough to be their lover but never good enough to be introduced to their mother. Do I still feel this way? I honestly don’t know. I like the attention and validation I get from men because of my looks but sometimes it feels so hollow. **This poem went through heavy edits in June of 2026.
Often men want this girl…the ones that’s always down for a “good” timeBUT run away from this one….the other girl …the vulnerable one that has a realness hard to accept
Tell me Iβm beautiful, tell me Iβm sexy Objectify me, sleep with me breadcrumb me, ghost me, then try to come back to me And when I deny you insult me, threaten me,try your best to hurt me- Your words mean nothing to me Youβre not the first but will be the last who tries to destroy me Youβre not the first but will be the last who treats me like your on call whore Youβre not the first but will be the last who tells me Iβm not good enough and after all that, try to come back again and Tell me you miss, tell me you want me Tell me youβre sorry, tell me you LOVE ME Be persistent in your quest in trying to bed me with empty promises about how this time it will be different and how we have history so I can laugh and laugh and turn you down and watch you sulk honey, I know you watch me on social media so you should know better than to ever come back to me
I wrote this in September of 2019 after I read somewhere about some politician making fun of AOC for doing the “Latina Thing”. It annoyed the fuck out of me.
Edit: I revised this poem heavily in 2025 when I performed it in open mic. Here’s a link to that performance
what I think of the haters
make fun of our accents,make fun of our names- call us feisty, caliente, spicy. too loud, too sexy try to bully us into silence try to put us down with racist and ignorant insults try to stereotype us- try to make us feel less than try to kill us- but understand that we’re here to stay, and weβre not letting anyone get in our way donβt you know that weβre descendents of Mayan, Aztec, and Incan Kings and Queens and survival and resilience is embedded in our DNA y estamos aquΓ para quedarnos para siempre
he came for my people followed the rhetoric of our hate fueled president men, women, children killed in cold blood because they were the wrong race, the wrong color spoke the wrong language he came for βUSβ the so-called invaders him at just 21 years old filled with hatred from head to toe brainwashed by white supremacy twenty two lives taken as a consequence of a monstrous ideology twenty two families who will forever grieve and mourn the neverending sorrow loss of their loved ones taken too soon twenty two families with an infinity of questions and no real answers and as usual the useless thoughts and prayers come, and the law makers are the worst, making empty promises to fight this American epidemic but after a few days, they will forget like everyone else itβs no longer a question of why this happened ttβs become a question of when will be the next time
the shelf of my bookcase breaks, and my poetry notebooks fall every single one of my love stories scattered on the floor Failure after failure Were any of them worth the effort? Was the experience worth the suffering? Maybe it was for the inspiration behind my prose and poetry and the growth Iβve had Still, that doesnβt seem like an adequate answer
Back to black blast from my car radio as I drive aimlessly in the rain I have a boyfriend but I still feel alone It turns out that being in a relationship isnβt the cure for my loneliness after all Some people will say itβs the long distance, others will say itβs how I still keep my guard up I think itβs a mixture of both and how I have a tendency to fuck up in love
I breathe grief in, I exhale grief out my pain needs a way out because despair and sorrow fill up my lungs and anger sits at the bottom of my stomach and Iβm tired of living like this a life full of emotional intensity And supposedly thereβs a cure for it with therapy and radical acceptance but how do I accept that every man whoβs ever professed his love to me always leaves Will my romantic misfortune one day end? or am I destined to repeat the same story of abandonment over and over again?
I need to head back to the gym before my algorithm notices and starts sending me ads about BBLs and Ozempic I need to head back to the gym and make it part of my weekly routine instead of constantly standing still I need to head back to the gym, I need those endorphins now more than ever as another financial crises looms over me and I donβt know how to get under it give me 45 minutes at the gym to clear my head strategize about my next to make sure my family doesnβt fall into poverty
the consequences of being a hopeless romantic outweigh any rewards everytime I start to believe in love it never works out Everytime I start to believe in love it ends up in chaos and destruction and i try and try again only always to have the same ending and after 26 years of doing this-I donβt have it in me to endure another love failure someone who appears sure of me-only for them to change their mind about me on a whim the consequences of being a hopeless romantic has filled a dozen notebooks and journals with sorrow and grief
The last tarot card I pull said everything is working in my favor and yet here I am knee deep in my depression as my world is full of so many changes itβs hard for me to keep up with and I feel like I’m playing emotional parkour at double time. not fully processing one transition before facing the next and I donβt remember whenβs the last time Iβve been to the gym itβs to suffice to say, Iβve stopped caring about how much weight Iβve gained but I should considering I donβt have money for new clothes since Iβm as broke as a college student who buys ramen by the bulk for sustenance on most days but here my tarot say there are better days to come and lately Iβm impatient and shake my fists at the sky yelling βwhenβ
Iβve tried to keep my life private but I have a talent for oversharing Especially when Iβm anxious Especially when Iβm drunk and youβll think itβs charming at first Until one day I explode and then youβll say goodbye And Iβll get super salty, cry, and write
My bra is the milkshake that brings men to my playground It gives me the cleavage that makes them feel like theyβre in love Theyβll claim it’s my words or my eyes they’re in love with , but letβs not kid ourselves Itβs really my majestic breasts that pop out with their own personalities they fuel their many exotic and erotic fantasies
my oldest son moved out in same week my youngest started high school people keep asking me how I am and honestly I donβt know yet all I know is there a major hole that keeps getting bigger and bigger and I call it partial empty nest syndrome