I wrote this poem in April of 2022.

I summon success and wealth
I summon good energy
I summon letting go of unhealthy patterns
I summon a life without grief and strife
I wrote this poem in April of 2022:

I saw a cross written in the sky
and I wondered,
βIs that you God?
Is that your sign that I shouldnβt lose
faith or hope
and I need to keep going,to keep living?
Is that you God ?
Telling me everything will be fine
and one day peace will be mine
I wrote this poem in April of 2022.

Faith found me one day
and told me to keep going when I didnβt want to
Faith made me believe in GOD when I wanted to fall
into the abyss of depression
Faith held me as I cried endless tears of my about
my latest life’s catastrophe
Faith loved me when I couldnβt love myself
Faith brought me people who believed in me
When I couldnβt believe in myself
Faith decided to one day bring itβs accomplice
HOPE
I wrote this poem in April of 2025.

I blame my ADD, Mami and hypersensitivity for my poetic tendencies
I never had the attention span or time to learn to play an instrument or paint
instead at 15, I learned to write poems out of the shards in my heart left
from a breakup after reading Becquer, and ever since then
Itβs been an ongoing love affair with poetry
one that is a refuge from the outside world, one that has been therapeutic
when I felt the sky fall on me many times
and while on most days I still suffer from imposter syndrome
and donβt consider myself a real poet
I donβt and wonβt ever let that deter me from processing
the wonderful, terrible, and crazy things in my life through poetry
I wrote this poem in April of 2025.

the nuns and mami started into obedience and I reverted into a world of silence
And everyone praised mami about what a good little girl I was
and no one thought much about this
until my parents demanded answers for the rebellious streak in my teens
couldnβt understand the numerous absences, the subpar performance in school,
why I sulked in my bedroom for hours on ended, the disrespect from my mouth
as I stood up for myself, they wondered where their sweet and quiet princess went
all the while they should have looked back 6 or 7 years ago
when they indoctrinated me to hold it all in or else they wouldnβt love me
should have known one day Iβd rebel and explode as I was finding my spirit,
my voice once again after it had been buried under layers of good behavior
I wrote this poem in April of 2022.

I am a witch and sometimes a bitch
if youβre lucky
Youβll see the sweet side of me where I’m your real life magical wet dream come true
If youβre unlucky, youβll meet the BPD me
the worst bitch youβll regret meeting in your entire life
because if you treat me badly, Iβll make sure
youβre laugh at when I read a poem about you
at open mic
I wrote this poem in April of 2022.

If failure was a task I would be the poster girl for it
I’m a failure at love, I’m a failure at life,
I am a failure at Being Human
but all of these are thoughts of the past me
the new me doesn’t see herself as a failure
or that she has ever failed at life
she sees failure as a stepping stone and learning curve
the new me sees herself as a winner of life
and not the loser of 1
because she never gave up or didn’t give in
or because she’s a resilient queen
I wrote this poem in April of 2022.

When I open my eyes,I whine and grunt
Another day where I whine,whine, whine
Working to live? Or living to work?
I canβt remember which is better
Living is really just guesswork
Maybe today I wonβt feel so much anger
Perhaps I should find hope in this new day
Instead of living in doom and gloom
Maybe the darkness will stay away
Or Iβll cry at work in the bathroom again
I wrote this poem in March of 2025.

subtitles jump from my phone screen violently
one of the few films from 1950βs mexico
that address domestic violence
one of the few films to portray the man
as the crazy one
but instead of him going to prison
for his many crimes against his wife
he ends up locked up in a monastery
I wrote this poem in March of 2023.

before I was diagnosed with BPD, I was very sick
I wished and wished to be anyone else but me
I really wanted to be a middle class white woman
the kind who grew up with 2 parents in a 2 story house the kind who never had to assimilate to fit it
the kind who never had to to fill out a FAFSA application the kind who was never neglected
and whose feelings were always validated
the kind who writes stories or poems about her favorite horse instead of stories or poems about constantly feeling like a stranger in your adopted homeland
the kind who is mostly respected by men
and not fetichized or called exotic
the kind whoβs never had 2 jobs to survive
in this capitalistic society
before I was diagnosed with BPD,I was very sick
I wished and wished to be anyone else but me
but three years into recovery
Iβve healed and wouldnβt want to be anyone else
because while itβs true that many people donβt struggle as much me everyone (even middle class white women)
still have their own set of insecurities and trauma
I know nothing about
Iβve learned I need to focus on myself,
feel gratitude for everything I have
as I reach my goals and chase my dreams
and most importantly
I now love and embrace who Iβve been,
who I am, who I will be
I no longer play a game of envy
and view myself as a broken mess
of who Iβve been or whatβs happened to me
I was never those things
Iβm a beautiful mosaic of everything
Iβve endured, experienced and lived