your wretched goodbye brought a radical change within me left behind was the naive girl who fell in love with you left behind was the stupid bitch who made a home in you left behind was the insecure woman who made you her world the woman who stands before you made a 360 turn the woman who stands before lives life according to her own terms without apologizing, without accommodation, without toning herself down the woman you left behind no longer exists she turned into ashes and out of the ashes turned into a brave and powerful queen who learned that her love is the rarest type of jewel that she reserves only for those who love her and accept her exactly as she is
My heart blooms like a flower in the spring taking in the beauty of everything I’m no longer so angry and feel a freedom to just be I take things in stride and no longer feel the need to fight Is this what healing looks like?
el resentimiento que siento por ti no me deja dormir tus acciones me hicieron un mundo de daño y me trastornaron y siempre me preguntare, ¿Por qué fuiste un cobarde y no pudiste dar la cara al desmadre que tu creaste ? ¿Por que somos nosotros que tuvimos que sufrir por tu incapacidad de ser un hombre de verdad y asumir tu responsabilidad?
Hope lies in the next minute, the next hour, the next day,the next week Hope makes us believe there is something to look forward to even in our darkest hour Hope gives us the strength to continue on when we don’t want to
el miedo de compartir todo demasiado pronto corre por mi entonces me hago la chica de tus sueños la que se viste sexy y se ríe de todas tus bromas la que da su cuerpo fácilmente sin preguntas o demandas la que no exige respeto por miedo de vivir el cuento de mujer dejada de nuevo
Faith found me one day and told me to keep going when I didn’t want to Faith made me believe in GOD when I wanted to fall into the abyss of depression Faith held me as I cried endless tears of my about my latest life’s catastrophe Faith loved me when I couldn’t love myself Faith brought me people who believed in me When I couldn’t believe in myself Faith decided to one day bring it’s accomplice HOPE
el disco de mi trauma toca en el tocadisco de mi vida en un ciclo infinito de los errores cometidos en un ciclo infinito de lo que pudo ser y trato y trato de escaparme hallar brazos nuevos que me abracen y olvidarme de él emborracharme hasta quedarme dormida esperando la nostalgia de él no me visite en mis sueños y rezar por una cura, un remedio para borrarlo de mi mente para siempre para poder empezar de nuevo con alguien que sepa valorarme Sin el fantasma de el constante persiguiendome
The first and last time I tried to die I tried to get everything right I wrote letters to my loved ones and swallow each pill one by one All that was easy enough but really dying was tough Something inside me was too stubborn And sent one last text out to a friend who alerted my husband Between her and him, I never reached my end but in that moment I understood the suicidal writers and poets Living is exhausting,living is agonizing I yearned for the sweetness of death to take away my mediocre breath But the universe or God had other plans And today I finally understand Living is painful,living is terrible But living is also beautiful and really living is admirable
Your false love swallowed me into an ocean of oblivion and I almost drowned You consumed my mind with anxious thoughts of whether or not I mattered to you And thoughts of death visited me when you ignored me Feelings of worthlessness and emptiness threatened my wretched existence over and over again because of your inconsistent love But one day, I was enough by myself I didn’t need your pseudo love So I’m banishing you to the land of past lovers who never deserved the magic of my love
vivimos en un mundo de indiferencia pero continuamos fingiendo que nos amamos cuando en realidad todavía no me olvidado de él y tu todavia piensas en ella pero los dos tenemos miedo a la soledad por eso seguimos juntos en una existencia de falsedad
When I open my eyes,I whine and grunt Another day where I whine,whine, whine Working to live? Or living to work? I can’t remember which is better Living is really just guesswork Maybe today I won’t feel so much anger Perhaps I should find hope in this new day Instead of living in doom and gloom Maybe the darkness will stay away Or I’ll cry at work in the bathroom again
I still ache inside at times over past regrets, over past mishaps it’s when doubt in me starts to rise And I fear another emotional relapse but then faith whispers to me let go of your past and focus on your present and I float back down to reality and once again gain confidence my past and trauma never defined me it’s part of my heroine’s journey at times I may have been terrible but I’ve always taken accountability at times I’ve felt irreparable but it’s a false story I told myself I’ve finally learned how to knock out those thoughts of how awful I’ve been I’ve learned the art of compassion and grace for myself
I’ve been called an exclamation mark before But I feel more like a question mark Because I always ask questions like: Why am I like this? How do I get rid of anxious thoughts? Where does my heart really reside? What is best for me? Who will love me?