Poem: Nothing

I wrote this in 2019 when I was reflecting about the way men have often objectified in a way that they almost always seem to just want the fun and sexy part of me but seem to often have problems seeing the rest of me. I’ve almost always felt like I’ve been good enough to be their lover but never good enough to be introduced to their mother. Do I still feel this way? I honestly don’t know. I like the attention and validation I get from men because of my looks but sometimes it feels so hollow. **This poem went through heavy edits in June of 2026.

Often men want this girl…the ones that’s always down for a “good” time
BUT run away from this one….the other girl …the vulnerable one that has a realness hard to accept

Tell me I’m beautiful, tell me I’m sexy
Objectify me, sleep with me
breadcrumb me, ghost me,
then try to come back to me
And when I deny you
insult me, threaten me,try your best to hurt me-
Your words mean nothing to me
You’re not the first but will be the last
who tries to destroy me
You’re not the first but will be the last
who treats me like your on call whore
You’re not the first but will be the last
who tells me I’m not good enough
and after all that, try to come back again
and
Tell me you miss, tell me you want me
Tell me you’re sorry, tell me you LOVE ME
Be persistent in your quest in trying to bed me with empty promises
about how this time it will be different
and how we have history
so I can laugh and laugh and turn you down
and watch you sulk
honey, I know you watch me on social media
so you should know better than to ever come back to me

poetry: stain

I wrote this poem in June of 2022.

I’ll leave an emotional stain on your life that will be hard to get rid of
You’ll curse the day I was born
You’ll regret the day you ever meet me
because I demand respect, because I’ll never be your safe place
because I’ll say β€œno” to being relegated to the role of mistress
and you’ll accuse me of being crazy and narcissist
just because I wanted to be treated with dignity
just because I want to be seen as more than another girl to pass the time with

poetry: one day

I wrote this poem of February of 2025.

dreaming my future love into existence

one day I’ll meet a man who won’t be afraid to take my hand
and declare his love for me in public

one day I’ll meet a man who won’t have eyes for another body
other than mine

One day I’ll meet a man whose values aligns with mine

One day I’ll meet a man who’s always looking for ways
to evolve and better himself

One day I’ll meet a man who won’t run away from his emotions
and confront them head on even when it hurts

one day I’ll meet a man who’ll want to make me his
for the rest of his life without blinking an eye

and say I’m one the best things that’s ever happened to him

poetry: is this it?

I wrote this poem in December of 2024.

me manifesting hard for this moment

found love where I least expected it
and when it happened
it felt like an earthquake where the ground
broke from under me
it felt like all of the hurt and pain experienced
before had been worth it
for the one waiting in the wings for me
as he sits by me and reassures me
when the world feels chaotic and overwhelming
He tells me I’m one of the best things
that happened to him
and has never made me feel less
or like a burden to him
and all of it still feels so strange to me
is this really happening to me?
or is it all a dream?
and I finally at the end of my marathon of lust and love
I have been running since the age of 15

poetry: beneath the fog

I wrote this poem in October of 2024.

Cause it’s too little , way too late πŸ˜” -Laufey

beneath the fog, I almost crashed my car
I wasn’t drunk, just under the influence of seroquel
and crazy from the euphoria
just experienced in the arms of my ex lover
Beneath the fog, I almost crashed my car
but I used all of my DBT skills to calm down
and manage to park my car at a gas station
To gain my composure
and suddenly Kid LAROI is blasting
from some zoomer’s truck
with a message for me from the universe
that I’d be alright despite
life’s almost disasters
and that the sexual creature I’ve held with
for most than two years
is alive and well
and ready to make up for lost time

poetry: magician

I wrote this poem in September of 2024.

writing in nature

I’m a master magician of emotional alchemy
transforming my suffering into poetry
I never meant for it to happen that way
but life gave me no other viable option
it was either I became magician or I died
and the spark within me was too strong
to give into my self pity and depression
so here I am
making sense through poetry out of my madness
and the nonsense life has thrown at me
and done my best with it

poetry: bomb

I wrote this poem in August of 2024.

so annoying

the bomb of my insanity explodes and I try my best
to do damage control
tell my paranoid inner child not everyone’s out to get me
but it’s too late and I fall once again under the spell of depression
I try every single coping mechanism and it’s futile
I just need to sit and acknowledge my inner critic
and the dark and intrusive thoughts that come up
Understand and accept that shit is temporary
there will be better times ahead
for now it’s just annoying

poetry:not right now

I wrote this poem in August of 2024.

trying to be logical

love will have to wait while i switch the gears from survival mode to triunfadora mode
right now I can only concentrate on existing and putting one foot in front of another
right now I only have the energy and time to focus on myself
and digging myself out of the latest catastrophe I find myself in
right now is not the time for crushes or new relationships
it wouldn’t be fair to him to invite him into my current chaos
right now I stand alone, get myself together
before trying to fall into the magic of love again

poetry: miracle

I wrote this poem in July of 2024.

got on my lover girl earrings

I’m going to paint the sky with all of the colors of your love
red, green, yellow, dark gray, midnight blue, and black
every single color you’ve brought to my life
it’s will be the most epic mural who beauty will rival
the taj mahal
a mural decided to my own miracle of your love

Poetry: By Starlight

Me in 2018 on the way to see C

By starlight 

I saw the brightness of the moon

As he sat next to me 

Talking to me about nothing 

And yet everything 

All at once

By starlight 

I saw the shadow 

Of his large hands

And felt the roughness 

Of them as he 

Clumsily held my hands 

In his

By starlight

I saw the silhouette

Of his muscular legs

As he nervously 

Inched himself towards me 

And I felt his warmth

By starlight 

I saw the smallest 

Shimmering of the stars 

And felt his tender kiss

On my neck as he pulled my hair

And I felt the newness of love 

Poetry : Changing

Somewhere in Athens

I saw him in a new light-

In the light of the most intoxicating feelings of love

I didn’t want to at all-

But he made it all so easy-

Loving him is like breathing

I went from a bitter and depressed woman

filled with constant existential dread

to this new woman  filled 

with laughter and hope–

Maybe just maybe his love

cured the pessimist in me

Maybe just maybe his love

Changed me