Pensaba que yo era la única
que ocupaba un sitio en tu corazón
nunca pense que llegaria el momento
que me dirias “ya no te amo”
nunca cruzó en mi mento
que había otra mujer
Pensaba que teniamos mas tiempo
ahora estas en mi estante de imbéciles
For the English version of this poem, click on the link below.
https://lifeonthebpd.com/2021/11/20/betrayed/
Convertiste el amor bonito que teníamos
en una pesadilla de traiciones y mentiras
Estabas enamorado de ella
todo el tiempo que estuvimos juntos
y ahora me voy para siempre
porque merezco mejor
que gastar mi energía en un traidor
Escribi este poema en el 2002. Habia tronado con otro desgraciado infeliz y estaba bien triste y amarga.
Me quedo inquieta
Al saber que no me querias
Que no más fui para ti
Otra mujer que te dio el sí
Para permitir que hagas
Todo lo que querías con ella
Ojala que algun dia aprenderas
Que nunca ganaras
Con ser tan desgraciado
Con tus feos modos
Y aunque me parte el alma
Tendré que ser capaz
De superar todo esto
Aunque tenga muchos lamentos
tengo que prometerme a mí misma
Nunca verte mas en mi vida
Por que verte denuevo
Me traería los mas tristes recuerdos
Escribi este poema en el 2001. Estaba bien enojada y triste. Me sentia abandonada.
Dime que paso
¿Por qué rompiste nuestro lazo de amor?
Dime que hice yo.
Que me dejaste con este llanto
Dime porque te fuiste
Tu no sabes el daño que me hiciste
Dime qué tiene ella
Que ni siquiera dejaste tus huellas
Dime que ya no me amas
Y no te veo jamas
Dime adios para siempre
Y quítame estos amorosos lentes.
Escribi este poema en noviembre del 2001 cuando estaba bien enojado y triste despues que trone con un canalla que me saco la vuelta.
Me dejaste en la oscuridad
No tuviste piedad
Tu no pensaste
Cuando me engañaste
En todo el daño
Que me has causado
Al saber que tu amor era una mentira
Pero recuerda
Que una vez tuviste todo
Y ya no hay modo
De recuperar ese amor
Que tenía mi único calor
Ahora me toca olvidarte
Lo que sentía al tocarte
I wrote this in the summer of 2019 when Mr.Toxic had once again ghosted me. I think so much of me was obsessed with him because of the chaos he brought into my life. Also, even though I hate to admit it, he brought so much inspiration to my life that I ended up writing over 50 pages of poetry/ mini stories about him. He was my muse for a while and I think I became addicted to him.
There once was a girl and she fell in love with the ocean. The ocean engulfed her with its salt smell, and the warmth of the water on late nights. The girl swam and swam, deeper and deeper into the ocean-loving it more each day. One day the ocean got tired of the girl and decided to make the biggest wave to throw her back to the land. When the girl woke on land, she was disoriented, confused, lost and hurt. She wondered if her late night swims had been a beautiful and hopeless dream. So a few weeks went by and the girl returned to her normal reality of her every day . She went through her normal routine even though her heart hurt-she slowly recovered from the crash of the ocean and just as she was almost to her normal self. The ocean decided to call her back again. At first, she couldn’t believe it-she thought her ears were deceiving her-but it was clear that the ocean wanted her to swim in it again-for whatever reason. The girl felt special and lucky and even though she was hesitant -she swam again in the ocean. This time -it was deeper and more intense. She felt at one with the ocean. She felt honored to learn all of its secrets and was completely enthralled by it. She was finally beginning to feel safe and so vulnerable she started to float and let the ocean carry her. All of a sudden the ocean got tired and threw her again-this time the crash was way more devastating . It felt like she couldn’t breathe at times. She knew that she should deal better since this had happened once before but this time she cried more than ever. She felt worthless and used in every sense of the word. She wondered what sin she had committed that the universe had handed her such unimaginable and tremendous pain. It was hard this time to get back to normalcy. It was hard for her to go about her day and not burst into tears because her poor heart would spasm when something brought back the memory of the ocean. And then the process repeated itself a few more times. It was more exhausting and devastating each time. It’s like she couldn’t learn and see how damaging the ocean was to her soul. Finally there was a time where it was so brutal the girl finally learned to tune out the ocean’s song and she never swam again.
Escribí este poema in 2019 después de que “el Toxico” que dejo una vez más. Estaba determinada a no volver a su lado, pero no fue así.
Una vez mas
Me dejaste en la peor oscuridad
Sola y abandonada
Me encuentro con un rio de lagrimas
Que no quieren parar
Y el dolor en mi corazón
No me dejan dormir
Mi recuerdo de ti
Me fastidia mi ser
Una vez mas
Me dejas con una infinidad
De preguntas
¿Porque te fuiste?
¿Porque no me amas?
¿Porque me usaste?
Pero esta vez
Es la última vez
No puedo seguir
En el infierno que
Es la confusión
De tu supuesto amor
Pero esta vez
Me valoro lo suficiente
Para parar la locura
De regresar a ti
Pero esta vez
Me acostumbre
A vivir sin tus besos
Pero esta vez
Dejaste de existir para mi
Life on the BPD 