Poesia: Inquieta

Escribi este poema en el 2002. Habia tronado con otro desgraciado infeliz y estaba bien triste y amarga.

Me quedo inquieta
Al saber que no me querias
Que no más fui para ti
Otra mujer que te dio el sí
Para permitir que hagas
Todo lo que querías con ella
Ojala que algun dia aprenderas
Que nunca ganaras
Con ser tan desgraciado
Con tus feos modos
Y aunque me parte el alma
Tendré que ser capaz
De superar todo esto
Aunque tenga muchos lamentos
tengo que prometerme a mí misma
Nunca verte mas en mi vida
Por que verte denuevo
Me traería los mas tristes
recuerdos

Poesia: Dime

Escribi este poema en el 2001. Estaba bien enojada y triste. Me sentia abandonada.

Dime que paso
¿Por qué rompiste nuestro lazo de amor?
Dime que hice yo.
Que me dejaste con este llanto
Dime porque te fuiste
Tu no sabes el daño que me hiciste
Dime qué tiene ella
Que ni siquiera dejaste tus huellas
Dime que ya no me amas
Y no te veo jamas
Dime adios para siempre
Y quítame estos amorosos lentes.

Poesia: La Oscuridad

Escribi este poema en noviembre del 2001 cuando estaba bien enojado y triste despues que trone con un canalla que me saco la vuelta.

Me dejaste en la oscuridad 

No tuviste piedad

Tu no pensaste

Cuando me engañaste 

En todo el daño

Que me has causado

Al saber que tu amor era una mentira

Pero recuerda

Que una vez tuviste todo

Y ya no hay modo

De recuperar ese amor 

Que tenía mi único calor

Ahora me toca olvidarte

Lo que sentía al tocarte

Story: The Ocean

List of pros I made when Mr.Toxic ghosted me in late 2019

I wrote this in the summer of 2019 when Mr.Toxic had once again ghosted me. I think so much of me was obsessed with him because of the chaos he brought into my life. Also, even though I hate to admit it, he brought so much inspiration to my life that I ended up writing over 50 pages of poetry/ mini stories about him. He was my muse for a while and I think I became addicted to him.

There once was a girl and she fell in love with the ocean. The ocean engulfed her with its salt smell, and the warmth of the water on late nights. The girl swam and swam, deeper and deeper into the ocean-loving it more each day. One day the ocean got tired of the girl and decided to make the biggest wave to throw her back to the land. When the girl woke on land, she was disoriented, confused, lost and hurt. She wondered if her late night swims had been a beautiful and hopeless dream. So a few weeks went by and the girl returned to her normal reality of her every day . She went through her normal routine even though her heart hurt-she slowly recovered from the crash of the ocean and just as she was almost to her normal self. The ocean decided to call her back again. At first, she couldn’t believe it-she thought her ears were deceiving her-but it was clear that the ocean wanted her to swim in it again-for whatever reason. The girl felt special and lucky and even though she was hesitant -she swam again in the ocean. This time -it was deeper and more intense. She felt at one with the ocean. She felt honored to learn all of its secrets and was completely enthralled by it. She was finally beginning to feel safe and so vulnerable she started to float and let the ocean carry her. All of a sudden the ocean got tired and threw her again-this time the crash was way more devastating . It felt like she couldn’t breathe at times. She knew that she should deal better since this had happened once before but this time she cried more than ever. She felt worthless and used in every sense of the word. She wondered what sin she had committed that the universe had handed her such unimaginable and tremendous pain. It was hard this time to get back to normalcy. It was hard for her to go about her day and not burst into tears because her poor heart would spasm when something brought back the memory of the ocean. And then the process repeated itself a few more times. It was more exhausting and devastating each time. It’s like she couldn’t learn and see how damaging the ocean was to her soul. Finally there was a time where it was so brutal the girl finally learned to tune out the ocean’s song and she never swam again. 

Poesia: Una Vez Mas

Escribí este poema in 2019 después de que “el Toxico” que dejo una vez más. Estaba determinada a no volver a su lado, pero no fue así.

yo en 2019 determinada a no volver con el Toxico

Una vez mas 

Me dejaste en la peor oscuridad 

Sola y abandonada

Me encuentro con un rio de lagrimas

Que no quieren parar

  Y el dolor en mi corazón 

No me dejan dormir

Mi recuerdo de ti

Me fastidia mi ser

Una vez mas 

Me dejas con una infinidad 

De preguntas

¿Porque te fuiste?

¿Porque no me amas?

¿Porque me usaste?

Pero esta vez

Es la última vez

No puedo seguir 

En el infierno que 

Es la confusión 

De tu supuesto amor

Pero esta vez

Me valoro lo suficiente

Para parar la locura

De regresar a ti

Pero esta vez

Me acostumbre  

A vivir sin tus besos

Pero esta vez

Dejaste de existir para mi