I wrote this poem in October of 2020.
The stillness in my life makes me insane
I’m craving an adventure
I’m craving ecstasy
I’m craving the unpredictable
To lie in the stillness feels like dying
and I want to live
Live life spontaneously,live life musically
Live a life full of excitement
To live in this stillness makes me feel like
I’m drowning in a lake of stagnation
Life on the BPD 
I was always suspicious of meditation for the reasons you express here – too much stillness might turn me into flatlines, too serene like the walking dead and I like to feel things from time to time, to shake up my life…..a crush on someone is the best. I like how the quote in the beginning of this poem is so different from the actual poem.
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