I wrote this poem in November of 2023.
the repetitive compliments, the gross flattery about your looks
no longer works on you-
You’re one “hey beautiful” from vomiting the contents of your lunch
all of these men state the obvious-you’re pretty
And they think it’s a way to get to closer to you
but you scream, “ew” and block them
it’s nothing against them, you just no longer have the luxury
of time to waste it on this type of nonsense to even think
about entertaining them
you’re outgrown that story
Life on the BPD 
I was just telling a poet on his blog what a relief it is when someone I have a crush on rejects me. I feel free and can breathe again though I still check to see if by some odd chance she sent me an email. It’s like looking in the refrigerator for another beer when I know damn well, I already drank them all.
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That’s a good way to look at it.
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One of my favorite teachers used to warn beware of buried land mines when in relationships, even friendships can suddenly be ruined. It’s kind of sad, but sometimes it feels like I have no control over the words coming out of my mouth and sometimes they inspire a reply, ideally a romantic one and other times, they are absolute duds and I never hear back from my crushes. That’s the game I guess.
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