I wrote this poem in November of 2023.
I’ve starved myself to make my mom, lovers, and even myself
so they’ll love and accept me
I’d go on extreme diets, skip meals,
over exercise until throwing up
and getting excited when the number on the scale
went down
and hating myself when it went up
never quite understanding there’s much more to me
than some arbitrary and unrealistic standard of beauty
I’ll never be able to attain
there’s much more to me than how I fill out a tight dress
and yet, I still check the scale every once in a while
to measure my worth
Life on the BPD 
Once again, thanks for your honesty. I guess the way we look, our body is part of the deal for us humans on planet earth so it’s normal that we do our best to look attractive, however we define attractive. Worldly to worry about how we look but the redeeming part in my opinion is that getting to know and love the way someone is as far as personality and values can make them look beautiful. It’s a miracle of perception shifts.
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