Here is the English Version of this poem:
https://lifeonthebpd.com/2022/01/22/so-much/
el miedo de compartir todo demasiado pronto corre por mi
entonces me hago la chica de tus sueños
la que se viste sexy y se ríe de todas tus bromas
la que da su cuerpo fácilmente sin preguntas o demandas
la que no exige respeto por miedo
de vivir el cuento de mujer dejada de nuevo
Here is the English Version of this poem:
https://lifeonthebpd.com/2022/01/28/poetry-my-past/
el disco de mi trauma toca en el tocadisco de mi vida
en un ciclo infinito de los errores cometidos
en un ciclo infinito de lo que pudo ser
y trato y trato de escaparme
hallar brazos nuevos que me abracen y olvidarme de él
emborracharme hasta quedarme dormida esperando
la nostalgia de él no me visite en mis sueños
y rezar por una cura, un remedio
para borrarlo de mi mente para siempre
para poder empezar de nuevo con alguien que sepa valorarme
Sin el fantasma de el constante persiguiendome
I wrote this poem on Valentine’s Day of 2022.
Your false love swallowed me into an ocean of oblivion
and I almost drowned
You consumed my mind with anxious thoughts
of whether or not I mattered to you
And thoughts of death visited me when you ignored me
Feelings of worthlessness and emptiness
threatened my wretched existence over and over again
because of your inconsistent love
But one day, I was enough by myself
I didn’t need your pseudo love
So I’m banishing you to the land of past lovers
who never deserved the magic
of my love
Here is the English version of this poem:
https://lifeonthebpd.com/2022/01/26/poetry-indifference/
vivimos en un mundo de indiferencia
pero continuamos fingiendo que nos amamos
cuando en realidad todavía no me olvidado de él
y tu todavia piensas en ella
pero los dos tenemos miedo a la soledad
por eso seguimos juntos en una existencia de falsedad
I still ache inside at times
over past regrets, over past mishaps
it’s when doubt in me starts to rise
And I fear another emotional relapse
but then faith whispers to me
let go of your past and focus on your present
and I float back down to reality
and once again gain confidence
my past and trauma never defined me
it’s part of my heroine’s journey
at times I may have been terrible
but I’ve always taken accountability
at times I’ve felt irreparable
but it’s a false story I told myself
I’ve finally learned how to knock out
those thoughts of how awful I’ve been
I’ve learned the art of compassion and grace
for myself
Here is the English Version of this poem:
https://lifeonthebpd.com/2022/01/23/poetry-youre-a-mess/
Me alejo de ti porque esto ya no funciona
Me alejo de ti porque no puedo seguir en tu aura
de desmadre y caos que eres
Me alejo de ti por el bien de los dos
para que tu encuentras tu calma
para que yo no pierda mi cordura
Here is the English Version of this poem:
https://lifeonthebpd.com/2022/01/23/you-suck/
vivo en un mundo de incertidumbre contigo
que me deja agotada, que me das ganas de morir
tratando de adivinar tu siguiente paso
tratando de entender porque que te alejas de me
tratando de ser suficiente para ti
mientras tu apenas me das lo mas minimos de amor y respect
me pregunto -¿valera la pena vivir tanta miseria?
Aquí está la versión en Español:
https://lifeonthebpd.com/2022/01/05/poesia-cobardia/
you burned our novel of love
because your courage ran out
because you couldn’t fight for us-
even when you told me over and over again
how being with me made you feel alive
how I was different from anyone you ever met
none of that mattered because you chose your wife
because she brings you security
because she’s your peace
because she’s comfortable
because you preferred a static and predictable life with her
Instead of living a life full of excitement and challenges with me
The creases and wrinkles of my body should make self conscious
because I’m getting older, because I’m getting fatter
but I think the creases and wrinkles of my body
make me the most beautiful version of me
My body proves I live a life with an abundance of food
My body proves I’m still here in middle age making mistakes
and learning from them
Society wants me to believe I don’t hold much value
since I don’t fit their standard of youthful beauty
Well I say fuck society and their standards of beauty
I’m happy and proud to be unconventionally pretty
I wrote this poem in April of 2022.
Deep inside of me
is a treasure chest
full of wonder, full of splendor
Deep inside of me
is a treasure chest
full of sadness,full of sorrow
Deep inside of me
is a treasure chest
full of love, full of laughter
Deep inside of me
is a treasure chest
full of anger, full of hate
I wrote this poem in April of 2022.
I feel raw with emotions
It’s like someone has ripped off
the scab of an almost healed heart
and it’s bleeding once again
And while this time
it’s not pulsating with anger and rage
it still hurts
like a small paper cut
you can’t see but it’s still there
I wrote this poem in April of 2022.
I hide the craziest parts of myself
The parts that get sad,
The parts that get obsessed
The parts that lose hope
I hide the worst parts of myself
the parts that feel empty
The parts that feel numb
The parts that want to die
I hide the craziest and worst parts
of myself
so no one else will leave
I wrote this poem in April of 2022.
I wish I could be perfect to everyone in my life,
the perfect mom, the perfect coparent, the perfect mistress
but the pressure gets too loud within me
And I need to get away from how I want to be perceived
I’ll never be the perfect anything
I’m never be June Cleaver or the perfect dream girl
I can only be authentically and imperfect me
And maybe me and everyone in my life
need to accept that’s the best I can be
Here is the English version of this poem:
https://lifeonthebpd.com/2021/12/30/poetry-precious-moments/
Al escuchar aquella canción de Alejandro Sanz
Me visita la nostalgia de nosotros y me pongo a llorar
y casi te llamo pero-me controlo
necesito para esta obsession contigo,
Quisiera poder olvidarte
pero, pero, pero no puedo pelear
el amor que todavia siento por ti
I wrote this poem in April of 2022.
I told the full moon to listen to my pleas
to lessen my pain
to turn me from victim to victor
I told the full moon to let my mind rest
and stop my intrusive thoughts
that tell me I’m worthless
and not good enough
I told the weary moon to fill me
with self love
instead of self hate
Life on the BPD 