poetry: wonderland

I wrote this poem in June of 2025.

man, I was so hopeful

going from β€œpeople watching” energy to β€œJuno” energy is not for the weak
it’s accepting that finally your time has come and your turn is here
despite your many attempts to build an impenetrable wall no one can get through
someone was brave enough to get to know you, to claim you as theirs
and while there is still a jaded part of you that attempts to not make much of this
because at the end they all leave
the romantic in you wins and you fall like alice into the wonderland of love

poetry: harassment

I wrote this poem in June of 2022.

once my boundaries are crossed, I CUT YOU OUT LIKE TAGS ON MY CLOTHING (like the great Conan Gray said)

it’s not romance, it’s harassment
placing me on your dream girl altar
and telling me about your boner
Even after IΒ  told you no
But then you still threw me your delusional love
and when I was honest right away
and I told you β€œI’m sorry but no”
somehow now I’m a crazy bitch,
a stranger
who’s letting her mental illness talk for her
after calling out your misogynistic behavior
All I said was no to you and the insults come on cue
I warned you, didn’t I and now foul, you cry
I told you I wasn’t ready for what you had to offer
but you kept playing the part of my great admirer
and maybe I’m fucked up in the head
but your fantasies I needed to behead
I needed to keep myself safe from men like you
who try to bully me into loving them
into giving in because your endless attention
and compliments
haven’t you read my story?
I’m not no longer a woman who bends and bends
to man’s thirst for me

Poetry: Homework

I wrote this poem in May of 2022.

me after walking/running in the rain

In therapy I’m supposed to write about the last thing that cause me grief
and I think it’s funny considering the tons of poetry and journal entries
I’ve written about it
I’m tired of writing about it, I’m tired of talking about it
I’m tired of thinking about it
and I want to tell my therapist I don’t have homework for this week
but this is part of therapy
this is what I need to address the unhealed trauma within
so I’ll write for the 1000th time about the last thing that caused trauma and grief
hoping my therapist will provide valuable insight on how to let go of it

poetry: silver lining

I wrote this poem in May of 2025.

that silver lining turned into a dark cloud real quick

phosphene blooms across the room
when I catch you staring at me
and I feel an electric shock go through me
this feels like a new kind of crazy
this feels like a new stirring of hope
I never expected to feel this way ever again
And this feels like my silver lining
a long time coming




poetry: temptation

I wrote this poem in May of 2025.

temptation all around me to repeat the same unhealthy stories
to the sabotage the healthy energy in front of me
it would be so easy to do so
allow it all to combust in front of me
but I won’t
this time I’ll be different
this time I’ll do my best to make it work
this time he knew the poet in me before he met me
and I have no hidden corners of myself left
and with all that said
I know we have a chance of making it

poetry: different

I wrote this poem in May of 2025.

from my favorite movie “Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind”

Wish I could say I’m a chill and cool kind of girl when it comes to love
but I’m not
because once I’m into you and I let you in
it will be hard to get rid of me
because I am a nurturer and I’ll love you with my whole heart
and I’ll make you the center of my world and find ways for us to get closer
wait, wait, wait
this version of me no longer exist
she went up in flames a few years back
Nowadays, the slightest sirens go off in me and I want to run away and block him
Cease and desist any evidence of him, the slightest offence
and it takes everything out of me to remember my skills learned in therapy
Tell him, I need a bit of time to process and we’ll talk in the morning
I know that after a good night’s sleep, I’ll look at things differently
and won’t fuck up my new love story because of a single simple misunderstanding

poetry: wolf

I wrote this poem in May of 2025.

πŸ’—πŸ’—πŸ’—

I’m the girl who screamed wolf in love in my poems one too many times
always acting like I’m the victim
always acting like I’m the hurt party
always acting like I’m fucked over in love when the truth is
I too have broken hearts
I too am shit at relationships
I too dispose of men once they fall off from my pedestal
and so perhaps, I need to stop screaming wolf
and accept that every once in a while
I am the wolf who’s capable of destroying and disposing of people as well

poetry: exorcism

I wrote this poem in May of 2025.

I need to exorcize you and you out of me before I step into a new chapter of love
It’s not fair to him to allow past chapters to haunt me and make me question my sanity
and maybe that’s ghosting you and sharing our story of toxic love in spanish
and while my methods may be a tad questionable
it’s the best I can do for now and for me, it’s enough

poetry: demons

I wrote this poem in May of 2025.

can’t seem to get away from my demons no matter how fast i run,
no matter how healed I claim to be
they always haunt me in my dreams, or when I’m at my most vulnerable
and happy thinking life might finally be going right for me
But out of the blue, my new boyfriend annoys me,
unexpected bills show up, my stalker is back and creeping on my blog,
and I fight with my teenage son
I wonder what did I do to piss off the universe this time

poetry: ego

I wrote this poem in May of 2025.

ego finally captured, I’m calm and humbled
the spiral of paranoia is gone
no one hates me, no one’s out to get me
it was a false narrative I created in moments
of madness
it was fake news as I let my emotions
get the better of me and control me
I’ve gained clarity again

poetry: silence

I wrote this poem in May of 2025.

I punish the men in my life with silence
I learned it from my mom
she’d last days without saying a word to my dad
after a fight
always waited until he broke down and apologized
she always needed to win
and while I’m not as brutal as her
I need to protect myself when a man makes me feel
like I’m not good enough, like I’m a monster
so I walk away calm and give a silence so deafening
they’re ask a million questions why
they’ll search answers in between the lines
of the posts I write
and if they’re smart enough and get the hint,
they’ll stay away from me

poetry: May 6, 2025

I wrote this poem in May of 2025.

one day I’m going to make her proud of me with my book

it found me on a tuesday afternoon, inspiration for a book
a poetry book of sorts telling my life story
and while this has happened many times
I pray this one sticks because I have all of my material
in my google docs
at the very least, it’s given me inspiration as to where
to go next