Posted on by pattytacuri · 3 Comments

Poetry: Silence

I wrote this 2013 about my husband.

silence kills

Silence, awkward silence is what was left after everything they needed to say was said

 It was the same fight over and over again.

Old wounds were brought to the surface and reopened. 

She blamed him for derailing her ambitions

 and he blamed her for derailing the productive and selfish life he once led. 

They both couldn’t see that they were both at fault

 for not continuing to push each other to flourish

 but instead they fell into a complacent spell 

And a pattern of a comfortable 

and the fruitless routine of suburban life.

 And the years went on and they had nothing to show for it 

except debt and wrinkles they both inflicted upon themselves. 

And the years went on and all that was left 

was regret for her for the things that she didn’t get to experien

Posted on by pattytacuri

Poesia: Otro Mas

For the English Version of this poem, click link below:

https://lifeonthebpd.com/2021/11/19/poetry-i-thought/

Fuistes otro amor falso
otro lleno de perfidio
pretendiendo tener buenas intenciones
me causaste una desconfianza profunda

Espinas de odio crecieron en mi
aprendiendo que era otra falda más
fue una verdad difícil de tragar
Ahora gritaré todo mi miseria y rencor

Posted on by pattytacuri · 2 Comments

Poetry: Joe Goldberg

I wrote this poem in January of this year for a DBT exercise about being creative.

Me and Joe

My love for Joe Goldberg is for real

even if he is a psycho serial killer

he might kill me but won’t abandon me

or break up with me

My love for Joe Goldberg is  healthy and lovely

It brings a calm and serenity like no other 

My love for Joe Goldberg makes me understand

Myself better

I’m like him,  in love with love

My love for Joe Goldberg is the only one I want 

for now

I’d rather deal with a fictional crazy Joe

rather than a real life asshole

Posted on by pattytacuri

Poetry: Rejection

I wrote this in 2009 about Brad.

sometimes all you can do is laugh

Rejection
Is an interruption
Of the infatuation
I felt towards you

Rejection
Is a profound sadness
With a river of tears
That flows down my cheeks

Rejection
Is a broken promise
You made
That breaks my heart
Along with the rest of me

Rejection
Is the start of learning
Who you are
Behind the facade
Of infatuation

Posted on by pattytacuri · 2 Comments

Poesia: Esperandote

Here is the English version of this poem:

https://lifeonthebpd.com/2022/10/02/eliza-conquers-heartbreak-poetry-edition-2/

Espero, espero, y espero por tu llamada
para oír que mi soledad fue una pesadilla
Espero, espero, y espero que aparezcas en mi puerta
para decirme que todavía me deseas
Espero por tu carta por correo
diciéndome que me echas de menos

Posted on by pattytacuri

Poem: Depression

I wrote in December of 2012 when I was amidst a great depression.

So true-Life is hard

Recognizing the triggers of 

My depression is one of 

The hardest things I have to do

It’s when I’m silent

Wishing all the bad things 

Would go away

It’s when I stop listening 

To music 

It’s when I struggle 

To open my eyes 

And face another dreadful day

Posted on by pattytacuri

Poesia: Lo Siento Por Ti

Here is the English Version of this poem:

Poetry: So You

Lo siento por ti
piensas que has ganado
pero serás otra mujer usada
crees que te ama
pero es una de sus mentiras
piensas que el es tu príncipe azul
pero tu dignidad parara en el suelo
tienes un canalla y mentiroso a tu lado
que te dejará con un mal sabor en tu boca
no digo esto porque te tengo envidia
es una advertencia
para que no acabes como mi
otra de sus muchas mujeres
que el trate como una muñeca de trapo

Posted on by pattytacuri

Poetry: Horizon

I wrote this in 2009 when I was feeling contemplative about life.

Sylvia Plath gets me

Horizon

The horizon stretches out before me
In a limitless manner
I see a future but am unsure
Of which path to walk towards
Everything is a blank slate to me
Undefined by my indecision
The moment I choose
Is the moment I’ll become
Something, anything
Than the nothingness
That I am

The horizon stretches out before me
Offering everything and nothing
Offering this or that
Offering a wasted life
Or a meaningful one

The horizon stretches out before me
And I need to stop
My hesitation
And become a person of actions
And do something, anything
So the horizon is not wasted

Posted on by pattytacuri

Poesia: Otra Canción Melancólico

Here’s the English version of this poem:

https://lifeonthebpd.com/2021/10/13/poetry-same-old-ugly-song/

Pensaba que tu amor era como sueño celestial

me sentía bendecida

pero te volviste en una pesadilla infernal

y aprendí de nuevo

que tu eras otra canción melancólico

otro inútil más

mi amor se volvió en un mar de odio

me di cuenta muy tarde

Que estaba ciega 

a que me estabas usando

y me lleno con un fuego de furia

Me hundí en una arena movediza de amargura

Desafortunadamente todavía me acuerdo

de nuestro amor y tu ternura

pero tú arruinaste eso cuando te fuiste con ella

Ojalá que te quedes con ella

porque ahora soy un nunca en tu vida

Quiero olvidarme de todo los que fuimos

porque estoy mejor sola que mal acompañada

tengo que aceptar la mentira que tu fuistes

tengo que aceptar que tu fuistes

otra canción melancólica

Posted on by pattytacuri

Poetry: The Wound

I wrote this in 2008.

I never came back the same

The Wound

It’s a wound that never closes
No matter how many years
are spent trying to close it

To taste the pure heaven that is you
and have it swept
from under me in a sudden swoop
made the everlasting wound

I looked everywhere
for somebody to help me close it
But no matter how hard
they tried, the wound
wouldn’t come close to closing

I finally met someone who lessened the pain
of the wound
with his gentle and understanding nature
But even after 6 years as his patient
the wound remains open

 

Posted on by pattytacuri

Poesia: Otro Niño Confundido

Here is the English version of this poem:

https://lifeonthebpd.com/?p=1792

Eras un sorpresa lleno

de atención y afección 

hasta me dejastes rosas en mi tablero

Pensé, por fin, llegó mi príncipe azul 

Pero después de un tiempo

Sentí la distancia entre los dos

ya no tenías tiempo para mi

pronto me darás alguna excusa estúpida

porque me tienes que abandonar

y mi corazón quedará en pedazos

no habrá nada más que decir

me dare cuenta

que tu fuiste el mismo cuento

de otro niño confundido

Posted on by pattytacuri

Poetry: Restless

I wrote this poem in 2008. One the BPD traits is feeling restless and oh my, I feel this a lot. Sometimes it’s for a few hours, sometimes it’s for a few days and I write about it.

restlessness lies in my heart

Restlessness lies in 

my mind at 

night and does

not go away

easily. It invades 

my thoughts and

questions me.

Will it ever go

away or will I 

become insane?

Posted on by pattytacuri

Poesia: Mi Valor

Here is the English Version of this poem:

https://lifeonthebpd.com/2021/12/13/poetry-old-habits/

Ella era un hábito que no podías romper

aunque te di lo mejor de mi

Aunque te di mi amor

No era suficiente para ti

entonces corriste a los brazos de ella

y cuando me entere

me aleje de ti

Mientras ella se quedó contigo

porque yo no soy una estúpida

yo se mi valor