Maybe I need a new love story-even if it’s temporary so I can find relief and some peace from this loneliness That’s making me into an insane mess Maybe losing myself in someone else Will stop making me feel less- or perhaps what’s really happening It’s me allowing my depression talk me into finding a solution- for my neverending frustration with healing and growth and always having to look within for what I need But perhaps if I had somebody maybe for once, I could just be
me in September of 2022,,,the transformation is complete
The transformation is complete from caterpillar and butterfly It was full of painful epiphanies that brought an epic catharsis It was life changing and transcendental Facing my fears, driving out the toxicity within Acknowledging brutal truths, letting go of regrets and embracing my divine duality I’ve finally become the butterfly I was always meant to be who flies and lands on her own terms
From February to July, I’ve continued to maintain the healthy coping skills I’ve acquired in therapy and have made even more progress. I started group DBT therapy in April and that’s also helped me tremendously. Listening to members in that group talk about their issues has made me gain a lot of perspective. I’ve also had a few obstacles along the way of course. In May, I upped my dosage on one of my meds that ended up with me having a major depressive episode, here’s a blog post about that:
A year later, I can honestly say that I’ve been successful in managing my emotions in a much better and healthier way. My growth has been phenomenal in many areas of my life due to my hard work. I’ve had incredible support from my therapists, medical providers, friends, followers, and family who’ve helped facilitate my growth by encouraging me and giving me the space I needed to be who I needed to be at different parts of this process. Sometimes that was a complete emotional mess, sometimes that was an angry and salty poet, sometimes that was a cringy mom or a moody coworker. Restarting this blog and creating content for it has been instrumental in my healing process and has been a great outlet for the inspiration and creativity I’ve had during this time. Another beneficial thing I’ve done is simplified my life by letting go of anything that doesn’t serve me. I keep my life simple with work, kids, friends, family, and writing and this is the right combination for me to maintain my emotional stability. I’ve learned to prioritize my mental health above everything else because the consequences for me and everyone are too great for me not to do so. I understand now that the “old me” before her diagnosis was trying to have “everything” and well, that extended my emotional bandwidth to the point it was detrimental to my mental health to the point that I constantly lived in a flux of emotional dysregulation. I don’t blame anybody or even myself; I did not have the knowledge or awareness at the time to do any better.
I’m not completely where I want to be because I have two areas that I still have problems with: -sticking to my boundaries especially when I feel pressure from others to bend to their will and desires -my cognitive distortions which include black and white thinking and thinking in absolutes I’ve lived with these cognitive distortions since I can remember, and it’s been really hard to break these unhealthy thinking patterns but I’m working on it.
There is a lot more to say about this journey, but I’ll save that for later throughout this year. To conclude, here are a few thoughts: To have an immense amount of progress and growth this year; I had to learn to be brutally honest with myself about things I had been lying to myself about for too long. I had a tendency to blame others when I felt terrible about my life. This year, I changed that pattern and I had to learn to hold a mirror to myself and take accountability for any harm I’ve done to myself and others and that was extremely difficult to do. It also meant facing some of my biggest fears and insecurities and that was fucking hard. Sometimes it was so much work, I wanted to give up but I didn’t. And now I’m here, at a place where I’m truly happy and content with myself and my life. And to not have major depressive episodes every other week where I’m stuck in this rut of misery feels like a type of freedom I can’t describe. To manage hard emotions like anger and sadness without it affecting my whole week or my whole day is something I always felt was impossible until now. And while I am thankful for everyone that’s been helpful in my journey, I feel the most gratitude to myself and my determination and resilience. I had always known myself but just this year I’ve finally started to understand myself and finally felt a sense of freedom to be who I really am without a need to filter out the crazy or hard parts that make me the complicated and resilient human that I am. A year later, I no longer allow life to happen to me and feel powerless and have an immense need for validation from others. Now I’m a person who lives a life with intention and purpose for my own betterment.
Video taken 5/15/22, 5/22/22, 7/3/22- To get a place of emotional stability and permanence has been worth all of the tears, notebooks and journals full of self reflection, poems, essays, etc, miles walked or run, and countless hours of therapy. Let’s see where I am in another year! Excited about my future! My new concept map 😍🥰
I nurture my soil with love and everything that makes me smile Excitement stirs inside of me thinking of all my untapped potential and the poems and stories that are yet to be written The soil I step in is solid and I am grounded and calm Is this what’s called God’s love?
Insecurities and anxiety from my immigrant childhood Come out to play and my adult self wants to run away I thought I was healed from this I hate these triggers—but I still confront them even if I don’t want to I cry and write about them, reprocess something not quite healed Am I on the way to my recovery from BPD?
did you drink your water today? did you remind yourself you’re worthy of love? did you understand you were always enough? will you repeat after me- I won’t run away from or suppress my feelings I need to face my emotions head on or else I’ll break down
My default setting must be sad because when a wave of happiness comes all I can feel is anxiety a stabbing in my gut that makes me nauseous maybe I’m still getting used to this new feeling of joy and excitement in my life Maybe I don’t know how to deal with finally being healthy and happy maybe I’m just used to my constant state of misery
I used to water my roots with the supposed love of others their compliments, their energy made me whole but eventually they’d tired of being my water, my earth my everything and leave And I was left once again incomplete- until one day I learned to water my roots with my tears, my strength, my self-love And now my growth and potential are infinite
My favorite words are my sons names names that taught me about patience and unconditional love names that have made me get up when I didn’t want to names that fill me with faith and hope when I’m about to lose it names that make me want to become a better person than I was yesterday names I live for names I would die for
I used to have a tunnel vision of love thought it could only be felt with someone but I was wrong love is in the trees love is in the ocean love is in the earth and love is in myself my higher power taught me this and it’s a lesson I’ll forever cherish
I give my pain and sorrow to God and it lessens the heaviness in my soul and I’ve never felt lighter and I laugh more and feel content and gratitude and I no longer want to die Instead I’m excited to live I’m excited about my wrinkles and every birthday because I’m finally enjoying the gift of life God has bestowed on me
My future is a sky blue and full of potential Now that I’ve walked away from anyone or anything that limited me I’ve let go of any grief I held within I’ve embrace my crazy and now let it out creatively Is this the beginning of a new me? Am I finally the person I was always meant to be?
I used to live in a world full of regret, sorrow, and resentment until I no longer wanted to live in misery so I let go of everything and everyone that didn’t serve me and held onto everything and everyone who helped me grow and now I’ve blossomed with love, with purpose and for once I’m full of happiness, calm, and serenity And I finally feel free to love my life, to love who I’ve become