Poetry: Bilingual

I wrote this in January of 2022.

me at work living that bilingual life

Stuck in between Spanish and English
is a bilingual nightmare
constantly switching between languages
gives me a lifelong jaqueca
and at times I don’t get it right
it’s switching between two identities
Latina or American
it gets hard and confusing at times
but it’s who I am
Hablo con mamá en Español
I speak to my sons in English
Hablo con los pacientes en Español
I speak to my coworkers in English
and to code switch parece una comedia
I’m told that I’m fun and loud en Español
pero soy profesional y reservada in English
eventually I learn to meld
my American and Latina personalities
and I find my most authentic
bilingual and bicultural identity

poetry: love letter

I wrote this poem in april of 2023.

profound thoughts as I write my love letter

my poetry has never been to get attention, likes, comments, validation
and while I appreciate all those things
I have to be honest –
my poetry is and will always be for me to speak my truth,
to process my feelings, to heal from life’s tragedies
to understand myself and learn to love myself as I am
my poetry is the ultimate love letter to myself and the universe

poetry: unnerving

I wrote this poem in april of 2023.

from short hikes in Athens in 2021 to treacherous 5 mile hikes in Oxapampa in April 2023-it’s all unnerving

I put my insecurities and fears on display for the world to see
it’s a most arduous task-it’s not for the weak
at first I thought it was crazy
it was me trying to get attention
it was me seeking validation
and while it may have been these things
it was also brave, courageous
to be so radically honest
about what unnerves me
It’s how I’ve been able to heal
and claim my identity

poetry: message

I wrote this poem in april of 2023.

me looking out at the sunset in Lima

a red bird appeared to me in a dream
it carried the spirit of an ancestor I had never known
he told me to not get too comfortable in my current life
while it’s been a good life and I keep thriving
and making my dreams come true
I have even more room for improvement
my purpose is bigger than I’ve ever dreamed of
and through my storytelling
I will not just heal myself but help others
find their own path in their hero’s journey

poetry: tide pool

I wrote this poem in April of 2023.

my first sense of community

my friends dragged me to the tide pool
even though I don’t know how to swim
they put a life vest and tire around me
they don’t want me to miss out on the fun
it was one of the first times
I felt the splendor of a community of love

poetry: comfortable

I wrote this poem in March of 2023.

so comfortable I take pics like these….it’s me and my thigh high boots against the world..lol

Finally comfortable in my skin
I’m no longer afraid to show off my majestic beauty
my curves comes one of the seven wonders of the world
and my face is a mosaic of my colonizer and indigenous ancestry
and now I grace the world with my beauty
posting endless selfies in various poses
some people may find it narcissistic
but if you possessed my goddess beauty
would you try to hide it?

poetry: evolving

I wrote this poem in March of 2023.

this bitch has had more transformations than she cares to remember

My story is important to share, it’s important to write down
but I don’t want to do it from a place of anger, revenge, or ego
It’s strange to say this because for the past 5 years
Anger has been my major inspiration and motivation
to feed the narrative of how everyone has been a villain
and I’ve been a victim
It gave me a sense of martyrdom that allowed me
to find peace for a while
acting like everyone is a problem
While I just flounder around being wronged
And while I have so much compassion and love for this version of me
It’s not who I want to continue to be
It’s not how I want to be perceived
because I’m more than being angry and vindictive
I’m also kindness, goodness, empathy, and love
And when I share my story-I need to remember these things