Poesia: Callar

Escribi este poema en 2004 cuando estaba amarga con mi esposo. Queria separarme de el.

verdad-yo lloro con poesia

Callar 

Ya no podemos callar
En tanta tempestad
Tu ya no me quieres
No hay nada mΓ‘s que hacer
Ya no hay ninguna soluciΓ³n
Para tanta desilusiΓ³n
Es mejor que tomemos caminos separados
Y decir adiΓ³s a nuestro dolor

Poesia: Vete de Aqui

Vete de aqui
Ya no hay mΓ‘s puertas que abrir
Lo de nosotros ya no funciona
Se nos acabaron las palabras
Se termino nuestro amor
Y se volviΓ³ en un enorme rencor

Vete de aqui
Ya no eres nada para mi
Me hiriste demasiado
Con tu amor
Tu nunca quisiste
Tener en nosotros algo de fe

Vete de aqui
Nunca fui algo especial para ti
Nunca ocupe un sitio importante
Y hasta ahora no se porque
Es mejor que te vayas
Y terminar con nuestra
Tremenda farsa

Poesia: Cansada

EscribΓ­ este poema en 2004 cuando estaba embarazada con mi segundo hijo y enfadada con mi novio porque Γ©l no me daba un lugar en su vida.

Yo embarazada de mi segundo hijo en 2004.

Ya me canse de esperar

Que me des un sitio en tu vida

Ya me canse de esperar

Con tanta ansiedad

De tus ganas de actuar

Ya me canse de esperar

Que vengas a llevarme

Para empezar una vida juntos

Con mucho amor 

Ya me canse de esperar

Que actΓΊes con verdad 

Alguna vez 

Poetry: Resignation

From the ages of 18 to 23, I worked for a government agency as an interpreter. I was well-liked by many of my coworkers and my first supervisor was appreciative of me. I was very good at my job and even cross-trained in many other areas that didn’t “pertain to my job”. However, at that job, I was also bullied and discriminated against for being Latina. I was also slut-shamed by my second supervisor and coworkers the latter 2 years I was there. I don’t want to say I deserved being slut-shamed but I’ll just say that I trusted the wrong coworkers with my private life and they went on to gossip about me to everyone. It was also a very stressful environment because of the work I did and clients I had to interact with. My depression and anxiety went haywire. In 2003, I decided to enroll in my local community college and major in English. In 2004, I was trying to go to school full time, work full time, and deal with my child’s new autism diagnosis. I was breaking down mentally and something had to give so I quit this job. I was fucking done. And this poem was inspired by that moment. I thought I had processed this trauma until it came back up in therapy in the summer of 2021. I didn’t realize it at the time but I had suffered a deep racial trauma that impacted me and still triggered reactions in me. I was angry. There is actually way more to this story and one day I’ll share it when I’m ready.

So much anxiety and depression hidden behind that smile 😭

This was the hardest thing I did

but it had to be done

I couldn’t stand the gossip

or the two faces of everyone

the way they pretended to be my friend

but the minute I turned my back to them

they talked like I was the biggest wench

so much envy and hate

I HAVE TO ESCAPE 

FROM THIS MISERABLE FATE!

so today I resigned

I didn’t tell them why

all I know is that for the first time

in a really long time

I feel something like happy

so long to the only place I have known

for an almost five year term

for once I breathe a sigh of relief

I finally had the courage to leave

so long to the hypocrisy of this place

to let myself stay here for another day

would only be a fucking waste