Poetry: Caught Between

I wrote this 2001 when I took a break from writing angry breakup poetry-lol. As an immigrant that grew up here, I’ve struggled with my identity for most of my life. Issues with identity are also another trait of BPD. I think this was a time in my life when I was especially reflecting on this part of my identity because I was become aware that men were fetishizing me.

me in 2001 around the time I wrote this poem

Caught between two worlds
what am I made up of more
hopefully I won’t ever have to choose
sometimes I wish to just cut loose

Too Latina for the American side
Too Americanizada for the Latino side
So what is the politically correct term for someone like me?
Not American, not born here
Not fully Latina either
for I lack that latin allure

So I’ll call myself one of a kind
a girl with much Latin beauty and an American mind
like a delicious half and half cream
whose taste is an amazing mixed dream

Poetry: Racy Lacie

I wrote this is 2006 for my creative writing class.

me in 2006 around the time I wrote this poem

Dressed up in lace
She gets into his car
He drives away in haste.

She’ll never go far
On this path to nowhere
Her life becomes tar.

Doesn’t seem to care
That she is treated so rough
With a life so unfair

Is she a black dove?
Or just a drug addict?
Did she ever know love?

What made her so damn sick?
Why don’t I understand?
What made her so chaotic

Man after man
All for another fix
From the candy man.

Poetry: Dying Innocence

I wrote this is 2006 in for my creative writing class. I wrote thinking about my sexuality when I was a teenager. I was hypersexual from a young age.

me in 2006-around the time I wrote this poem

She was an adult like sixteen years old
Hormones racing like the speed of light
These were bitter enemies of the cold
Powerful sensations she had to fight
Had the body of a mature woman
But the maturity of one she lacked
But still she chose a stranger man
He told her quickly β€œLie on your back.”
She was swiftly incapacitated
Gone forever, her norms and behavior
As her callow body palpitated
With her lengthy new found pleasure
And this was the unforeseen joyous end
Of her already dying innocence