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poesia: solita y borracha

Here’s the English version of this poem:

Poetry: Drunk and Blue

Solita y borracha llorando de nuevo por un hombre
que se burlo de mi dignidad
Solita y borracha, te conoci y me deje llevar
por la química y tu carisma
solita y borracha contigo quería olvidarme al otra
y por algunas horas pudo hacerlo
Solita y borracha prometiste llamarme pero no más
fue una promesa sin substancia
solita y borracha de nuevo estoy pero esta vez con ira con mi misma
por siempre repetir el mismo cuento por no saber valorarme

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Poetry: Recovery

I wrote this poem in August of 2022.

Insecurities and anxiety from my immigrant childhood
Come out to play and my adult self wants to run away
I thought I was healed from this
I hate these triggers—but I still confront them even if I don’t want to
I cry and write about them, reprocess something not quite healed
Am I on the way to my recovery from BPD?

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Poetry: Con

I wrote this poem in August of 2022.

mad Peruvian woman in August

the facade of equality is cloaked in good intentions and lovely words-
and while laws have been passed to prevent discrimination
and to try to level the game of success,
it’s all a sham, it’s all a con
we still live in a world where the color of your skin and social status
and gender determine your prosperity

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Poetry: Did You?

I wrote this poem in August of 2022.

keep hydrated

did you drink your water today?
did you remind yourself you’re worthy of love?
did you understand you were always enough?
will you repeat after me-
I won’t run away from or suppress my feelings
I need to face my emotions head on
or else I’ll break down

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poetry: like clockwork

aqui esta la version en espanol:

Poesia: Falsa Esperanza

you were my hope in love restored
everything I had dreamed of
everything I had wished for
and it was nice for a while-
getting lost in our love
thinking it was safe,
thinking it could be my permanent sanctuary
until one day like clockwork
you changed your mind and decided I wasn’t enough
and I was left wondering “what the fuck is wrong with me?”

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Poetry: 5 AM

I wrote this poem in August of 2022.

At 5 am, I woke up and wrote a 4 page poem
about how I wasn’t enough and proceeded to crash my car
and my therapist asked if I wanted to die-
And I was like “nah, I just couldn’t reign my impulsivity in”
at least this time I got control of the car and didn’t fuck
anyone else up

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Poetry: Default

I wrote this poem in August of 2022.

My default setting must be sad
because when a wave of happiness comes
all I can feel is anxiety
a stabbing in my gut that makes me nauseous
maybe I’m still getting used to this new feeling
of joy and excitement in my life
Maybe I don’t know how to deal with
finally being healthy and happy
maybe I’m just used to my constant state of misery

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Poetry: Potential

I wrote this poem in July of 2022.

y me viste de Reina

I used to water my roots with the supposed love of others
their compliments, their energy made me whole
but eventually they’d tired of being my water, my earth
my everything and leave
And I was left once again incomplete-
until one day I learned to water my roots with my tears,
my strength, my self-love
And now my growth and potential are infinite

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Poetry: Temporary Destination

Aqui esta la version en Espanol:

Poesia: Algo Pasajero

I’m more than a temporary destination for men to lay their love in
I will no longer lay down and play princess
and adjust and accommodate to their egos and needs
when they can never make me a priority
when they can never acknowledge my humanity
from now I won’t allow anyone near me
unless they show themselves worthy of my time and energy