poesΓ­a: hecha y derecha

Here’s the English Version of this poem:

Poetry: Home

llegΓ³ al sitio de mi juventud y recorro en mi mente todo lo sucedido
dΓ­as de mi felicidad, dΓ­as de mi amargura
y todo me aloca al llenarme sentimientos encontrados
que se habΓ­an perdido en la esquina oscura de mi mente
pero poco a poco regreso a mi presente
y se que ya no soy la niΓ±a ingenua e engreΓ­da de ayer
ahora soy una mujer hecha y derecha
lista para enfrentar mi pasado lleno de heridas emocionales
que todavia sangran
lista para sanar todo lo que ignore alguna vez
es una necesidad para seguir adelante con mi vida
sin que los fantasmas de mi pasado mi sigan persiguiendo
y haciendo un desmadre de mi presente y futuro

poetry: transformation

I wrote this poem in September of 2022.

me in September of 2022,,,the transformation is complete

The transformation is complete
from caterpillar and butterfly
It was full of painful epiphanies that brought an epic catharsis
It was life changing and transcendental
Facing my fears, driving out the toxicity within
Acknowledging brutal truths, letting go of regrets
and embracing my divine duality
I’ve finally become the butterfly I was always meant to be
who flies and lands on her own terms

poesΓ­a: la abuela interviene

Here’s the English Version of this poem:

Poetry: Remembrance

cierro los ojos y un maremoto de nostalgia viene hacia mi
y corro y corro y corro pero me alcanza que me ahogo
y parte de mi quisiera regresar a mi pasado contigo cuando era feliz
y casi, casi te mando un mensaje preguntΓ‘ndote
Como estas? Si todavΓ­a sigues con ella? Si, por fin encontraste la felicidad que tanto anhelabas?
pero, mi abuela interviene y me sacude, abro mis ojos y regreso a mi presente
y encuentro mi razΓ³n y susurro al universo que te deseo lo mejor
pero acepto que lo nuestro cuento de amor es algo definitivamente acabado
como los cuentos de hadas que papi me contaba cuando era niΓ±a

poetry: Lima

I wrote this poem in September of 2022.

me in Lima in September of 2022

the nostalgia of Lima sets in
and I ache for the sights, sounds, and warmth
of my homeland-
even though it’s been a few days
I want to go back already
I don’t feel myself fully in American
my body’s here but my spirit was left in lima
maybe because the few memories I have of Lima
are happy and mostly pure from trauma
whereas in America
it’s been tragedy after tragedy
disappointment after disappointment
and while I’ve planted my roots here with my children
my spirit now resides somewhere in Lima

poetry: one day

Aqui esta la version en espanol de este poema:

PoesΓ­a: Parar de Amarte

One day the memory of you will fade away
and my heart will be grateful for that-
because I can’t move on to a new love story
until I stop dreaming of you
until I stop writing about you
It wouldn’t be fair to me or to him
to attempt to write a new love story
when remnants of the old one
still show up in my poetry

poetry: practice

Aqui esta la version en Espanol:

Poesia: Quisiera Ser

let’s forget our past love stories
and focus on the one we’re living
the one we’re still writing
let’s agree that anyone before you,
anyone before me
were just practice for the honest and magical
love we’re experiencing
let’s focus on our present
and start planning our future
that’s waiting to be lived
that’s waiting to be written

poetry: cringe

Aqui esta version en Espanol:

PoesΓ­a: Bellos Sentimientos

you burned down my impenetrable wall
with your kisses, with your caresses
with your honesty, with your authenticity
and while I’m terrified that one day you’ll leave
I’m reminded every day you’re not temporary fantasy
by never feeding me bullshit promises
by never avoiding conflict
by never treating me like a princess
And by always inspiring me
and evolving along with me

Poesia: Mi Culpa

Here’s the English version of this poem:

Poetry: Pathetic Games

la culpa es mΓ­a por confiar en ti,
la culpa es mΓ­a por casi acostarme contigo
entonces no deberΓ­a sorprenderme que ahora
juegas con mis sentimientos
evadiendome un dia y llamandome al dia siguiente
y estoy harta y agotada de ser una vΓ­ctima
de tu toxicidad
es mejor acabar con lo nuestro
y que empieces a olvidarme
porque es obvio que un niΓ±o como tΓΊ
nunca estarΓ‘ preparado para una reina como yo

poetry: i’ll always have your back

me and my oldest son in 1998

In the beginning, it was just me and you –
and it was hard making sense of being a mom
the heavy weight of caring for another human
felt like it was going to crush me at times
and I tried my best with my lack of knowledge
with my lack of judgment
so your lullabies were the goo goo dolls and sugar ray
and your bedtime stories were stephen king and cosmo
the pediatrician did tell me to read to you-
at 17, I thought he meant anything
at 17, I was far from June Cleaver
and I felt so inept at times
and while other moms read parenting books
on how to become mommy dearest
I focused on school books to graduate from high school
so we’d have a fighting chance
so while you never had a typical mom
you still lucked out with a mom
who’ll always fill you up with love and strength
a mom who’ll always have your back

poesΓ­a: encerrada

Here’s the English Version of this poem:

Poetry: On My Mind

me encierro en sueΓ±os y fantasΓ­as del pasado
porque mi presente estΓ‘ lleno de amargura y odio
sin saber cΓ³mo convertir la tragedia de mi vida
en una historia de victoria
por eso prefiero encerrarme en la nostalgia
de mi pasado romΓ‘ntica cuando todavΓ­a tenΓ­a esperanza

poetry: sinning

I wrote this poem in September of 2022.

me at my first communion in 1989

I used to lie about my sins when I went to confession-
to have something, anything to confess to arouse interest in the priest
to not feel the burden of goodness on me-
and the priest gave me prayers and rosaries to atone for my made up sins

poetry: middle child problems

me and my brother circa 1987

stuck between two divas-I was never meant to stand out
my older sister shouted cries of continued injustice
my younger sister just cried over any little thing
my parents tried their best to give us individual attention
but sometimes I got left behind between the shuffle
of my sisters’ hysterics
and while I hold no ill will towards my sisters or my parents
I wonder what my life would have been life
if I had been the first or last born

poesΓ­a: tiempo

Here’s the English version of this poem:

Poetry: Not Just Lust

hay que tomarnos tiempo para conocernos
antes de brincar en otra tragedia de amor
hay que ver que encajamos de verdad
antes de profesar β€œte amos” y β€œte quieros”
y no apresurarnos en empezar algo
que algΓΊn dΓ­a nos destruirΓ‘