poetry: improvement

I wrote this poem in April of 2023.

my son living his best life

the freedom and independence in my son
brings me a sense of pride with so much happiness
I see his fiery spirit shine from within
and his light is so bright-
I know I’ve done something right
he’s not afraid to take risks, he’s not afraid of failure
He’s not afraid to be himself
and I breathe a sense of relief
he will not bear the sense of forced obligations
or burden of expectations I had-
instead he’ll make himself and his happiness
a priority above all else
while still caring for humanity
it’s the beginning of breaking a generational curse
of obedient and silent martyrdom
that’s been inherited for generations

poetry: mother of three

I wrote this in February of 2019

I’m still asking myself this question

Mother of three
What does that even mean?
Responsibilities, obligations, duties
Alcohol and going out are taboo for me

Songs of sacrifices and martyrdom
Are the tunes I hum
Dinner with friends and late
Night concerts are just WRONG!

Soccer games and play dates
Are my important dates
No time to spend
With my lifetime mates?

Mother of three,
Will I ever be free?

poetry: I warn my sons about falling in love with poets and writers

I wrote this poem in February of 2023.

and if they don’t heed my warning, I’ll be here for them and get revenge for them

I warn my sons about falling in love with poets and writers
I try to dissuade them from it
They’ll use any insensitive comment you ever made
into a salty verse dripped with not so subtle insults
They’ll use your most intimate moments as metaphors
for heaven or earthquakes
They’ll describe you as God or the Devil depending on how you left them
They’ll make you a villain in their stories or worst, the hero in them
And the worst part-
They’ll make you way bigger in their mind than you ever wanted to be
so , I plead with you, fall in love with a boring accountant or a teacher
or even a lawyer
You’ll avoid the stress of being someone’s inspiration, someone’s muse
and the chaos and drama that comes along with it

So many goals so little time

Fr fr

Something on your “to-do list” that never gets done.

My goals for 2024

So my time is limited because of my crazy working hours, but something that keeps getting pushed to the back burner are my taxes from last year. I freaked out last year because haha I have to pay back an obscene amount ( welcome to middle class status in America), so I basically ignored them, and now here I am in a new tax year but now filing in a different status cause of my divorce. The good thing is that my oldest just got his A.A in accounting so he’ll do them for me this month or next. I’m good with the turbo tax software, but my situation feels like beyond my comprehension, so I’ll let an expert do it. Something I also need to do is spend more time with my 2 youngest sons. It is hard because my youngest likes to spend more time with his friends, and my other son has particular interests, which include discussing the state of world affairs and watching depressing foreign films. But yeah, I need to work on my relationship with both of them. I even suggested playing fortnight with my youngest, but he told me it was cringe and I’m too old. Lol. I hope this time next month, I’m done with my taxes and find ways to bond my sons.

poetry: i got it right

I wrote this poem in January of 2023.

I got it right with this kid

To raise my children with empathy and respect for humanity
is hard in times like these
in times when everyone is selfish and individuality is praised
In times when showing emotions is seen as week
and there is still a stigma about seeking therapy
but somehow, my firstborn got the message
that money and selfishness are not everything
and that finding empathy and compassion for his fellow humans
is much more valuable than the idea of individualism and materialism
society tries to sell him

poetry: same,kid,same

I wrote this poem in January of 2023.

the moment that inspired this poem

They laid him on my breast and told me,
“Meet your baby boy” and I was in shock
the alien on top of me is mine?
this wasn’t supposed to be part of my adolescence
I’m only seventeen and some days I barely remember
to brush my teeth
and now I have this great responsibility
and his beady and angry eyes questions
as to why his comfort was disturb-he already hates the world
and I think , same, kid, same

mission

Being the mom he deserves is part of my mission in life
Daily writing prompt
What is your mission?

when it comes down to it, my mission in life is simple, it’s to be a good person and a good mom. that means being able to sleep at night with a clear conscious at night and knowing that I have done my best that day. that means giving my children the best of me most of the time.

poetry: christmas day 2022

I wrote this poem in December of 2022.

my boys are everything to me

Relief comes after a nap on Christmas day
I woke up with so much joy and warmth in my heart
I feel like I’m standing on top of a mountain I’ve been climbing forever
A mountain climb that’s had a most treacherous uphill
and loaded with many obstacles I’ve stumbled and fallen from many times
but the universe, God presented me this gift of contentment for my life
the understanding that everything had to happen for this reason
to live in my childhood dreams of having my own family
who brings me love and purpose every day of my existence

Words

Me with my boys at my niece’s Quinceñera

Who are your current most favorite people?

My favorite words are my sons names

names that taught me about patience

and unconditional love

names that have made me get up

when I didn’t want to 

names that fill me with faith and hope

when I’m about to lose it

names that make me want to become 

a better person than I was yesterday

names  I live for  

names  I would die for 

7/6/22

poesía: no se como

here’s the english version of this poem:

Poetry: Dear Son

Quiero lo mejor para ti-porque te lo mereces,
porque tu no pediste ser parte de este mundo
pero la sigo regando con mis decisiones impulsivas
con mis estupideces
y no se como voy a salir de esta última atrocidad cometida
que afectará el futuro de los dos

poetry: crayons and guns

I wrote this poem in October of 2022.

me with my oldest son in October of 2022

With excitement in his eyes, my son used to bring me pictures of made up monsters
Drawn with crayons-
With pride in his stance, he now brings me target sheets showing me how he’s well on his way
to becoming a decent shot with a revolver
When did my child go from crayons to guns?
It seems like I blinked and he went from four to twenty four
He went from being a rambunctious little boy who was hard to keep up with
to a strong and independent man who no longer needs me
And while I’m full of joy about this transformation-
I still miss the carefree days of crayon drawn monsters