I wrote this poem in July of 2022.
Delusion is believing this time it will be different ,it’s believing he’s not like the others and really gets you
It’s believing him when he tells you he loves you
when you know how this story always ends
Everything will be fine until one day it’s not
and within a few days
You go from lovers to strangers
Here is the English version of this poem:
Poetry: Our Beautiful Past
viendote de nuevo me hizo temblar
y me odie por que pense que ya te habia superado
pero el recuerdo vago de tus labios y tu retorno
enciende una quimica magica
que no se puede ignorar
I wrote this play for my creative writing class in college in 2006.
Characters
LACIE-Female/Age 28
JASON-boy/age 8
DAD(DALE)-Age 56
MOM(MARY)-Age 45
Setting
This takes place in a nice and clean kitchen and there is a refrigerator with pictures and Jason’s drawings and also a table.
LACIE enters following MARY into the kitchen door and sits down. LACIE puts her coat on the chair. LACIE is coming home from prison. LACIE walks with a slight limp and sits down.
LACIE: Damn, Mom, the kitchen looks a helluva lot different compared to the last time I was here.
MARY: Well, I guess I forgot to mention to you. We renovated the kitchen last summer.
LACIE: Well, I gotta tell ya , you really outdid yourself.
MARY: Yeah, well with your dad’s new job, we’ve been able to do a lot of things around here we always wanted to do but never had the money to—
LACIE: Wait, Dad got a new job? God, he’s been at Phillips Assembly for years, I thought he would stay there forever.
MARY: Well, ya know we thought it was time for him to move on to something else…something where he could better our situation.
LACIE: Still, Dad and change, you know damn well those are just two things that don’t go together.(Looks at fingernails and bites them.) So, where is he working?
MARY: Dacute Enterprises. He’s an overseer for their assembly line.
(LACIE bursts out laughing.)
MARY: Hey, what’s so funny?
LACIE: Who in their right mind would give a drunk a supervisory position?
(MARY frowns.)
MARY: Well, maybe things have changed more than ya think.
LACIE: Whadda ya mean?
MARY: You’ll see. So, how does it feel to finally be back home?
LACIE: Pretty good. But damn, I didn’t imagine that so much shit would change ‘round here.
MARY: Hey, watch your language around here!
LACIE: It didn’t bother ya before.
MARY: Well, we don’t talk that way no more.
(LACIE gives MARY a dismissive look.)
MARY: Ya know, for Jason’s sake.
LACIE: Okay, then.
MARY: So, ya hungry?
LACIE: Yeah.
MARY: Whadda ya feel like eating?
(MARY goes to the refrigerator and looks for something to cook.)
LACIE: Anything really.
MARY: Okay.
(MARY pulls out something to cooks fridge. LACIE looks at JASON’S artwork on
the side of the fridge.)
LACIE: So, these are Jason’s drawings?
(MARY closes fridge and looks proudly at artwork.)
MARY: Yeah, creative ain’t he?
LACIE: Yeah, I see that. I can’t wait ‘til he gets home. Me and him have lotsof catching up to do.
MARY: Don’t get so excited , we really do need to talk about—
LACIE: Later, I don’t feel up to listening to one of your talks…had to listen to enough of them when you use to visit me.
(MARY lets out a big sigh.)
MARY: Okay.
LACIE: So, when’s he coming home?
MARY: Well your dad shoulda picked him up from voice lessons ten minutes ago so they should be home maybe in 30 minutes.
LACIE: Voice lessons? What the….I mean, when did this happen?
MARY: Six months ago,the reverend at church heard him singing one day and thought he was pretty good and so he suggested voice lessons to fine tune his instrument, whateva that means. Your dad didn’t wanna let him at first, but Jason, as always, found a way to convince him.
LACIE: Church huh? Since, when did y’all start going to church?
MARY: Well…
LACIE: Ya know something; I need a beer about now.
(LACIE gets up and looks in the fridge for a beer.)
LACIE: Where does dad keep the beer nowadays? I can’t find it.
MARY: Your dad doesn’t drink anymore.
(LACIE slams the refrigerator door and sits down.)
LACIE: What do you mean dad don’t drink no more? You gotta be joking right?
MARY: Now why would I joke about something like that?
LACIE: He don’t drink no more? At all?
MARY: Nope. It was one of the conditions the social worker gave us that your dad had to agree to so the state would let us have custody of Jason. I wanted him to tell you himself, but—
LACIE: What the hell! I mean I know I’ve been gone for a while, but sheesh I expected at least a few things to stay the same.
MARY: I thought you’d be happy your dad stopped drinking. I know it’s something you used to always whine about.
LACIE: I know I did, it’s just that…
MARY: What is it?
LACIE: Never mind. Well, at least I can count on one thing and that’s finally getting to know my kid. I can’t wait to see him. I wonder if he’ll still remember me—
MARY: We need to talk.
LACIE: I told you, I don’t feel like—
MARY: You just don’t know. There are some things that we’ve had to tell—
(DALE enters with JASON running. Jason notices Lacie and hides behind Mary’s chair.)
MARY: I wasn’t expecting y’all so soon. (Gives DALE an accusatory look.)A call sure
would’ve been nice.
DALE: Well, I didn’t expect J’s lesson to let out so early and since I was—
JASON: Who’s that?
(Lacie approaches Jason slowly.)
LACIE: You should know who I am, now come over here and give your –
(Dale immediately gets in between Lacie and Jason and pulls Jason to him, faces him.)
MARY: Sister a big hug. Don’t ya remember we talked last week about a sister that might be coming to live with us?
JASON: Oh! Now, I remember! The one living in…in (Jason starts scratching his head)
DALE: Europe for the past six years.
JASON: That’s right…Hey, I’m Jason
(Extends hand to LACIE, LACIE grabs him and hugs him, JASON is real uncomfortable. LACIE won’t let go of JASON, MARY goes and rescues JASON from LACIE’S grasp and pulls him towards her. LACIE’S eyes tear up.)
MARY: Jason, honey, why don’t you go wash up and go to your room for a little while your dad and I catch up with your sister.
JASON: Okay, Mommy.
(JASON leaves, but looks back in kind of a weird way at LACIE.)
(LACIE stands there for a minute and then walks towards where JASON went, MARY stops her by grabbing her by the shoulders. They’re facing each other.)
MARY: Don’t!
LACIE: Sister? Europe? What kinda lies have you been telling MY son?
DALE: Keep your voice down, the boy will hear you.
(MARY motions for LACIE to sit down but LACIE won’t.)
MARY: Sit down, please, your dad and I need to explain a few things to you.
LACIE: Explain what? That you have basically stolen my son from me… YOU promised me he would know who I was once I got out. No fucking wonder you wouldn’t bring him to come visit me. I ain’t gonna listen to this shit.
(LACIE heads towards the door to get JASON but DALE stands in front of the door.)
LACIE: Get outta my way, you—
DALE: Sit down and shut up and LISTEN to what me and your ma have to say if you care about Jason at all.
LACIE: Shit! That’s funny coming from you considering all my life the only thing you ever cared about was your fucking Rolling Rock. I wouldn’t be in this fucking mess if you hadn’t been such a sorry-
(DALE slaps LACIE across the cheek, MARY pulls them apart, all three of them just stand there for a moment.)
LACIE: I don’t need this shit! I’m getting my son and leaving this hellhole!
MARY: Please, Lacie, don’t be so damn stubborn and hear us out—
LACIE: Why the hell should I?
(LACIE walks towards the door again.)
MARY: If you’re not a completely selfish bitch, you will-
(LACIE stops and faces MARY.)
LACIE: Selfish, like you should be one to fucking talk calling ME selfish when you’re the one who wouldn’t stop HIM(pointing to DALE) from beating the shit out of me when he—
MARY: Just calm down and let me explain some things to you
LACIE: I guess I’ll have to just so you leave me alone. (Crosses her arms with a scowl)
(MARY sits down.)
MARY: Okay, okay. When you had your little incident-
LACIE: Damn, you make it sound like I tripped and fell or something.
DALE: What your ma means is that when you were arrested, we found out all of a sudden you had a son.
MARY: Yeah, you don’t think it took us by surprise? You were gone for two years and we looked everywhere for you—
LACIE: And so because you’re pissed off at me, you decided to get back at me by telling MY son that you are his parents.
MARY: When are you going to learn the whole world doesn’t revolve around you? What we did was out of love for our grandson. Now just listen…as I was saying we looked for you everywhere.
DALE: And then the cops come up to the house one day and tell us you have killed your husband and if we could take our grandson in.
MARY: A grandson that needed so much out of us and we had no choice and saw ourselves raising your son.
DALE: We started to see things in a new way, ya know.
MARY: All we wanted for him was to grow up with a normal family… so yeah
for his well being…we told him we were his parents, and you were his sister.
LACIE: I can’t believe you did this!
DALE: What did you expect us to do? Tell him that his real mom was in jail for killing his father.
LACIE: Oh and you think I killed him for fun or something, I had to kill that asshole to save both me and Jason…you don’t fucking understand…that sick bastard had already broken my leg and when I found him trying to mess with Jason…I knew I had to do something to save him from that monster and I didn’t care if I went to jail for it.
DALE: What’s done is done, there’s no turning back. You can either stay here and live under these conditions or you can leave.
LACIE: I can’t fucking believe this, Mom, I expected you out of all people to understand. Don’t you understand? Everything I did, I did it for him!
MARY: I do understand but …you should understand, we were left with no other choice other than to do the right thing for him.
LACIE: And that’s all you have to say!
DALE: Like I said before, you can either live with this or you can go.
LACIE: I guess I’ll just have to—
(A basketball bounces into the kitchen and JASON enters the room skipping looking for his ball.)
JASON: Just came to get my ball…
(Picks up basketball and holds it.)
MARY: What did I tell you about playing ball in the house?
JASON: I’m sorry …won’t do it again…sheesh.
LACIE: Hi…
JASON: You okay?
LACIE: Yeah, I’m fine…I’m just a little sad.
JASON: Why
LACIE: I have to make a choice about something important.
JASON: Why?
LACIE: Because I just have to.
JASON: Um…okay. (gets his ball) I got an idea… maybe if you play some b-ball with me…you might feel better.
LACIE: That’s actually not a bad idea.
Both Lacie and Jason go out together.
I wrote this poem in January of this year
My lack of worth of self-esteem allowed me to accept
not even the bare minimum from lovers
as long as they showed any interest in me,
any sign of wanting me, I’d give them my energy
made them the muse of my poetry
put them on a pedestal where I worshiped them like a deity
and made what I mistook for love my religion
thought each one was the one because of my inability to find self-love
it was the version of me who thought the world began and ended
with the love of a man
It was the version of me who didn’t know that alone
I had always been whole, I had always been enough
I turn the world off and by the world I mean my phone-
I’m done with the posts about healing or being self aware
or reels about how people like me struggle
because of patriarchy or white supremacy
I’m done with texts and calls from friends and family
asking if I’m okay because of some weird status I posted
I’m done with the announcements about babies
or impending marriages or how so and so’s kid made honor roll
I’m done with emails asking me if I want to improve
my website or am I ready for a new summer wardrobe
I’m just done with the world today and retreat into my world
of writing,reading, and vinyls
I didn’t know what kind of post I was going to write for Mental Health/ BPD awareness month but then I saw the news about the death of blogger Heather Armstrong appear on my newsfeed. Here’s an article about her passing: https://apnews.com/article/dooce-heather-armstrong-dead-83c8f4812bda1766301793ea3afb02cb
I want to preface this by saying that I haven’t had a suicidal ideation episode since May of 2022 and here’s the blog post about that:
Borderline Awareness Month: I Could be 1 in 10
I think the news of Heather Armstrong hit me hard because well, looking on the surface, her life seems almost idyllic. This is a rich white woman who has all of the resources at her disposal to help her get to a much healthier state with her mental health and I’m like WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED? WHAT THE FUCK WENT WRONG? While I could speculate why or how this happened, I won’t. What I will say is that nobody could possibly understand why she made that decision or how much suffering she was in. This made me reflect on my own journey with recovering from mental illness.
I have battled depression and anxiety since I was a teenager except I wasn’t formally diagnosed with it until after I had my third child in 2012. It’s been a not so well kept secret in my family that I continuously tried to mask to seem well, normal to everyone else. For years, I’ve mostly kept my depressive episodes to myself because more often than not when I’ve disclosed I’m depressed, I’m met with the comments: “You need to get over it , we have no time for this” or “Think about your kids” or “But you have SO MUCH to live for”. I know the people making those comments thought they were being helpful but all it did was drive me further into a spiral of shame for having no control over my brain chemistry and being depressed. It adds fire to the fuel of my inner critic who tells me during this episode, “let’s add being a failure as a mom to your thoughts about being a worthless and terrible human being”.
The Elephant
The sun is shining
Everything is green and bright
And yet winter feels eternal
In my heart and my mind
I feel a profound darkness that
Seems to seep and ooze everywhere
Inside of me
Is this what true loneliness feels like?
Will I ever get rid of what feels like
my forever depression?
Or do I just learn to live
with the elephant that
lives on my chest?
That I try desperately not to wake it up
Writing, exercise, friends, tv-
Everything to keep it calm
But no matter what
The elephant always seems
To wake up
In a lot of my poetry, I’ve talked about the impossible pressure I’ve had to deal with in being a mother but I don’t think I talk enough about how this was modeled for me growing up. Growing up, I saw my mother as this larger than life woman who constantly worked hard and sacrificed for her family. She worked countless hours to provide for us. She was this superwoman who at one point had 3 jobs and still managed to keep a clean house and cook dinner. I remember her sleeping a couple hours after she got home from an overnight shift at her job and waking up to walk me to school in the morning. Throughout my childhood and adolescence, I never saw my mom breakdown or cry.
The message I received and perceived was one that in order to be a good mother, you have to be this superwoman who balances everything perfectly all the time. Being a good mother also meant being strong and resilient and if needed it was necessary to suppress emotions to continue to function. When I became a mother at 17, I had these unrealistic expectations of motherhood that I wanted to attain. And we wonder why I ended up with a diagnosis of BPD-lol. Honestly, while I’ve healed a lot from my past, I feel like it’s still necessary to share it because this isn’t just my story. It’s the story of other mothers who are still ashamed about having a mental illness and more often than not, don’t seek help and mask, mask, mask until they explode.
I’ve often talked about how my children are one of my greatest motivators for continuing to move forward with my life, to try to continue with my self improvement; but what I have failed to talk about is how my children are a major source of guilt while I’m in a major depressive episode. If I had to be honest with myself and everyone else, when I’ve been in that really dark place with my depression, I’ve had thoughts about how maybe my kids would be better off without me, how my kids deserve a better mother than me.I’m coming from a very vulnerable place talking about this. I also want to add that I haven’t been in this dark place with these thoughts since 2021. It is a fucking scary place to be in and it’s something I would never wish upon my worst enemy. Thankfully, I have always been able to pull myself out of this headspace and seek help if I need to. However, once I start to get out of this head space, guilt over how selfish I was for not thinking about kids hits me and ooof I’m off to a shame spiral that almost loops back around to another depressive episode but nowadays I’m able to get a better handle on it. In January of this year, when I had another major depressive episode, my worst thought was, “I don’t think I’m doing enough to improve the lives of me and children ” which is irrational for many reasons. Anyways, I decided then and there that I needed to go back to therapy. It was hard to make that decision but in order to prevent my depression from getting worse; it was necessary. Some part of me felt like a failure because of how many healthy coping mechanisms I have now, how much emotional support I have from family and friends, and how much therapy I’ve had; I felt like I should be able to get this on my own. However, I’d rather be safe than sorry and get the extra guidance and help I need so I can get through this depressive episode before it gets worse. It hasn’t always been this way for me. For several years, I thought that the brave thing to do was to suffer in silence and try to get through my depression on my own. Journaling consistently since 2019 has helped me get through the worst of it but looking back on those journal entries, I’m filled with grief for the version of me who thought strength and being brave meant keeping it all in. I’m filled with grief at the version of me holding it together trying to balance it all and functioning at work when inside all I wanted to do was die or disappear. However, I hold compassion for that woman because she was doing what she knew best to survive. And sure at times that looked messy and unhealthy but at the end of day what matters is that I’m still here.
Here’s a poem I wrote about my depression in 2020:
Darkness
The Darkness comes back
with a fierce strength
and takes over my mind
I want to run
I want to hide
But most of all I want to die
The Darkness comes back
like a hurricane
and wrecks my body and mind
and I don’t want to work
and I don’t want to talk
and I don’t want to breathe
The Darkness comes back
and not even the promise of love
keeps it away
Fortunately for me, I learned to work through my feelings of shame in getting the help I needed to get better. My mental health improved drastically after getting a BPD diagnosis and here’s the post about that:
A New Diagnosis: BPD
I’m very fortunate that my meds, my therapy, and the strict routine and consistency I now have in my life has improved my mental health so much, my depressive episode and low moods are milder and my quality of life has gotten so much better. I know that even in 2023,there is still so much pressure on mothers to be superwomen, to be “brave” and fight their battles alone but it doesn’t have to be this way. I hope that any mother out there struggling with depression/mental illness who might happen upon my blog post understands that they don’t have to fight this battle alone. In this journey, it is important to understand that being brave can also be taking the first step to seeking out the help you need to get healthier. I’m lucky to have found my own village ( my support system, my therapists, my writing community) to improve the quality of my life; my hope is that other mothers find their own village as well to lead healthier and happier lives.
I want to end this post with a poem I wrote in February of this year:
The Finish Line
I have yet to cross the finish line of my uprising, my marathon of healing-
Sometimes I stumble and fall for a few days, a few weeks.
a month when life gets overwhelming
I dissociate and drive around aimlessly
Forget about all the progress I made-
but always get up and do the best I can
Sometimes I mask well enough to fool the people in my life
Sometimes, it’s not enough and they start asking what’s wrong
but somehow I always manage to get back to a place where
I move forward and evolve-
listen to my therapist-
healing isn’t linear-healing is messy
and just because I stumble sometimes,
it doesn’t mean I can’t cross the finish line
Below are some resources that helped me along my journey:
Back from the Borderline podcast episodes that have really helped me
One thing I want to add about the above resources I have shared is that I take notes from the books/podcast episodes . I jot down certain phrases, concepts, or quotes that resonate with me and/or I find helpful. I take notes on sticky notes and have a notebook where I taped them later in a notebook where I write about it as to why I related to it or why it was helpful. This method of mine works for me in finding understanding the book better or validating my experience. You don’t have to do this at all, of course. It’s just what I found helpful. Also, if you want more books or resources, feel free to contact me:
Contact Info
I also want to add other helpful resources:
Below is a link to find a therapist and other mental health professionals-
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists
I wrote this poem in May of 2022.
Some days I can’t deal with the boredom and restless
It all leads to chronic feelings of emptiness
And I asked myself
Is it time for another depression spell?
And I’m annoyed by me, by everything
I attend to whatever I think my brain and my soul needs
Sometimes it’s music, sometimes it’s sunshine
Sometimes it’s writing
Sometimes nothing appeases the Gods of BPD
And I just to deal with my emotional instability
I wish for at least a week of tranquility within
Instead of a pendulum of ever changing mood swings
When will I finally get calm and peace?
What does freedom mean to you?
Happy Mother’s Day! I wrote this poem in April of last year inspired by my sons.
finding someone to love used to be a priority
until love burned me one too many times
besides I’ve always had 3 somebodies to love
that always deserved all of my attention
with them I’m never alone
with them there will always be inspiration
with them my love overflows
at this point, it would be useless for anyone to compete
with this complete kind of love
Image via Pexels
by Julia Mitchell
Anxiety can affect your long-term health. It can limit your ability to exert control, paralyze you, and make you feel helpless. In fact, according to a study by the Global Burden of Disease, depression is the sixth-leading cause of disability. Fortunately, there are things you can do to prevent anxiety attacks. Here are just a few, presented below by Life on the BPD.
Spending more time outdoors can reduce anxiety and stress. Your brain receives more oxygen when you breathe in the fresh air, resulting in increased levels of serotonin — the neurotransmitter that alters your mood. Simply walking to the store for milk can lower your levels of cortisol, a stress-causing chemical in your body.
You’re more likely to feel tired at night if you spend more time outdoors during the day. The better sleep you get at night, the less anxiety you’ll experience the following day.
Many people find themselves in jobs that they do not enjoy which causes anxiety. If you are one of these people, it may be time to start looking for a more rewarding job. When searching for a new job, think about what you are looking for in a job and consider your interests and skills.
Once you have a good idea of what you want, begin your search by looking at job postings online. Take the time to update your resume with your latest skills and experience. This free resume may help you get started. You can use this – or similar – templates, which you can modify by adding your own fonts, colors, and images. It will give you a great start to refreshing your current resume.
You may find that, instead of a new job, you’re more interested in a new career with new possibilities. In that case, consider going back to school. There are plenty of reputable, accredited schools with online degree and certification programs, so you can complete coursework on your own time. This page deserves a look if you are interested in technology-related certifications, like CompTIA A+, Cloud+, or Operations Specialist.
Recording your daily stress and anxiety levels through an anxiety journal is a simple and guided process. Writing them down helps you identify triggers and negative situations that cause your anxiety. So where do you start?
These are just a few ideas to get you started on your anxiety journal. VeryWell Mind explains that writing in your journal daily helps you better understand your anxiety and hopefully prevents future anxiety attacks.
Your anxiety levels may increase if your family constantly argues, complains, and is overly critical. You can relieve tension in your home by creating a welcoming and vibrant space. Open your windows to let in the fresh air, declutter, and do a deep clean to bring positivity.
It helps if you optimize your workspace to avoid work-related stress. Rather than sitting in a traditional office chair for long periods, try an ergonomic one. They help keep your body safe and upright to reduce stress on the spine and neck. Insufficient office lighting can reduce energy, dampen mood, and cause eyestrain. Position your desk so that your back is facing the window. You’ll benefit from the light and avoid distractions. In the absence of natural light in your workspace, you can create the illusion of natural window lighting using light colors, such as white and cream, on the walls.
Having anxiety can prevent you from leading a normal life. You can get so worked up about an upcoming event that when it arrives, you’re a nervous wreck. Or the simple idea of doing things becomes overwhelming. Anxiety can be debilitating, but there are strategies you can use to calm yourself and lower your anxiety levels. Start by spending some time outside every day (if possible) and use an anxiety journal to help process your feelings. And if your job – or career – isn’t working for you, build a new resume and find a new opportunity. This is your life. Don’t let your anxious mind control it for you.
Life can be challenging, but it’s better to experience it together. Life on the BPD is my attempt to share my challenges to make others feel less alone – and to process my own experiences. Visit my website today to join our community.
5 Strategies for Self-Improvement When You’ve Been Diagnosed With a Bipolar Disorder by Julia Mitchell
After receiving a bipolar diagnosis, you may be wondering what the best course of action is in order to manage the condition while tending to your daily obligations. How will you cope with your symptoms and lead a fulfilling life? Here are some strategies you should discuss with your healthcare professional:
Stick to Your Treatment Plan
Once you’ve been diagnosed as bipolar, your physician will prescribe medication and put you on a treatment plan. But since there are no one-size-fits-all drugs when it comes to treating this condition, you’ll have to go through a bit of a trial-and-error period before you get on the right dosage. Through it all, try to be patient and persistent. Do not get discouraged, and stick with your treatment plan until you start seeing results. And don’t be afraid to voice your concerns to your doctor if you feel something isn’t working as it should.
Focus On Your Sleep
Lack of sleep and poor sleep quality can exacerbate symptoms for people with bipolar disorder. So strive to stick to a bedtime routine that will promote a restful night. Avoid heavy foods, caffeine, and alcohol too close to bedtime. Try to go to bed at the same time each night; having a relaxing ritual like a soothing bath, a cup of chamomile tea, reading, or meditating can help get you into a more relaxed state. Turn off your screens and smartphone at least 30 minutes before you lie down for the night. And keep the temperature at a comfortable level to help you stay asleep longer.
Work on Your Career Plan
A fulfilling and rewarding career can help keep symptom activators and triggers at bay, and establishing healthy relationships with coworkers and colleagues who share the same passion will help you thrive at your job. If teaching younger generations is your calling, find an accredited online school with competitive rates and check this program that will lead to a bachelor’s education degree. Pursuing a degree online allows you to take classes when it’s most convenient for you and your family, so you can fit them into your busy life without feeling stressed out.
Take Time for Self-Care
Between family and work obligations, you may feel pulled in a multitude of directions. You can start feeling stressed out, angry, and like you’re losing control of your life. And when you suffer from bipolar disorder, you’re either too busy to take time for yourself or too depressed to do anything for yourself. So try to stick to one project at a time, and learn to say no or to delegate to avoid feeling overwhelmed. And when you’re feeling down, make sure to go outside to get some fresh air, meet with some friends, and indulge in things that make you happy.
Start a Side Business
If pursuing a favorite hobby helps you manage your bipolar symptoms, think about ways you can turn this enjoyable pastime into a small business of your own. There are online resources to help you get started, such as LLC formation services which will walk you through all the legal ins and outs of structuring and launching a business. By using such a service, you won’t need to hire a lawyer to get all the tax benefits offered by a limited liability company.
If you’ve been recently diagnosed, ask your therapist for strategies that will make living with bipolar disorder and coping with symptoms easier. Learn to recognize your triggers, take time for self-care, and develop a toolbox of skills and activities to help stabilize your mood.
Have you or a loved one been diagnosed with a bipolar or borderline personality disorder? You’re not alone! Please follow my healing journey at lifeonthebpd.com.
Image via Pixabay
Julia Mitchell is a career and finance writer. Check out her work at http://www.outspiration.net
Photo Credit: Sincerely Media via Unsplash
By Julia Mitchell
Life doesn’t always go the way we planned, and oftentimes our finances take a hit during these detours. Perhaps you lost your job because of downsizing, or you’ve struggled to find good-paying work. Or you could be recovering from financial debt from an extended illness or repair. No matter the cause, financial stress can feel inescapable. Fortunately, there are some steps you can take to change your situation. Life on the BPD explains how.
Unemployment is a serious problem, and many people have been out of work. The number of people reporting unemployment has varied a lot recently, but numbers are slowly decreasing. This is a great trend, but lost money during extended unemployment can impact you for a long time. And if your new job doesn’t pay enough, it will be difficult to financially recover from that deficit.
If you’re noticing changes to your work prospects with no end in sight, or if the type of job you were doing won’t pay enough to get you back out of debt, you may want to consider changing careers. Think about other areas of interest where your education and work history may be relevant. Consider going back to school. There are many options from traditional classes to night classes or even online degree programs.
Lastly, you may decide that you want to start a business of your very own. Beyond coming up with an idea for your company, there are a few things you need to do to get things started. First, you need to come up with a business idea. This can be something you’re passionate about or have experience in. Once you have your idea, you’ll need to start planning everything out. This includes coming up with a name, logo, and brand. You’ll also need to create a website and social media accounts. Once all of that is done, you’ll need to start marketing your business and getting customers. The best way to do this is by networking and using social media. Finally, you’ll need to continue growing your business by always being on the lookout for new opportunities. If you do all of these things, you’ll be well on your way to starting a new company.
Between work, family obligations, and worrying, you may find you have little time for yourself. This can lead to a vicious cycle of a lack of sleep and anxiety. When you’re stressed and not getting enough sleep, you’re more likely to eat poorly, which only worsens the problems. Instead, do something just for yourself. You could read a book, take a relaxing bath, or exercise. Engage in anything that takes your mind off your financial problems.
It may feel overwhelming, but now is a great time to reestablish your financial goals, since you are dedicated to getting yourself back on track financially. Take a look at your current goals and decide if they’re still feasible. It may be time to alter them to adjust to the economic climate and extend the overall timeline. Set positive goals with smaller sub-goals so that you can see your progress. But also push yourself towards a challenging final goal. You may be surprised by what a little positive anxiety can help you accomplish.
If you’re not sure how to set new goals, consider working with a financial planner or doing some online research. They gather helpful information about financial planning, including professionals who can come alongside you to create and support these goals and present them online. A little guidance can go a long way!
Budgeting helps you know exactly how much money is coming in and going out. You know how much you can save monthly and how much you have to enjoy.
However, when situations change your budget needs to change, too. You may currently have more costs related to your household, potentially less income, and possibly fewer entertainment options. At this point, it’s time to create a new budget with all this in mind.
Once you have an accurate, up-to-date budget, you should look for areas where you can spend less and save more. With an uncertain economic climate, it’s more important than ever to have a nest egg.
The pandemic brought about historically low refinance rates. Look at your options, because you could save yourself money each month and in the long run. For example, you can look into cash-out refinancing, which replaces your current mortgage with a larger one. You then receive the difference between the old and new as cash, which gives you some money to use however you choose.
If you’re interested in refinancing, you’ll need to gather some information first. When you cash out or take a home equity loan, the lender needs to know your home’s current appraisal and the amount you still owe on your house. The appraisal will determine how much your home is worth now so that your lender can calculate how much equity you have in your home. The equity is the amount of money your home is appraised for minus the amount you still owe on your mortgage.
Life has a way of surprising us – sometimes for good and other times not-so-good. Even if you’ve experienced some financial hardships lately, don’t let them completely derail your finances. Take a deep breath and reevaluate. Then, take steps today to start putting away money, even if that means you have to make a career change or reevaluate your budget.
Julia Mitchell is a career and finance writer. Check out here work at http://www.outspiration.net
I wrote this poem in May of 2022.
Fuck you, fuck me, fuck everyone
Is my mood stabilizer working yet?
and fuck, fuck, fuck my brain chemistry
it makes me so angry and crazy
Sometimes I’d rather feel nothing
than constantly feeling everything
Between my anxiety, depression, bipolar
And bpd
I can’t trust my brain to tell me the difference
between right and wrong
I can’t trust my heart if my feelings are valid
or if it’s inner critic preying on my insecurities
on day likes this I’d rather disappear
because being me gets so exhausting
I wrote this in March of 2022 for World Bipolar Day.
I wear the stigma of a bipolar diagnosis and hide this big secret
This secret has been a part of me since my teens
This secret explains my sometimes uncontrollable insanity
This secret at times robs me of my sleep
This secret has taken me on many fun and lustful adventures
This secret makes me write, write, write
so I don’t want to die, die, die
I keep this secret and take medication for it
But one day, I’ll scream out loud my mental health truth
I’m bipolar 2
I’m not enough to ruin your life but just enough to fuck it up
a little at a time
I wrote this in March of 2022.
I never needed anyone to teach me how to love
what I needed was understanding and acceptance
while my love is kind and sweet most of the time
my love also cannot be tamed at times
when it gets wild and out of control
it’s better to just ride the big wave of it
until it is tamed and soft again
it wasn’t that I didn’t know how to love
It’s just that most don’t know how to handle it
my kind of overwhelming love is a crazy kind of love
it will hurt you, challenge you and bring conflict
it will make you want to slap the shit out of me
because yes it’s that intense
but my kind of of love is always worthy
