Some days I canβt deal with the boredom and restless It all leads to chronic feelings of emptiness And I asked myself Is it time for another depression spell? And Iβm annoyed by me, by everything I attend to whatever I think my brain and my soul needs Sometimes itβs music, sometimes itβs sunshine Sometimes itβs writing Sometimes nothing appeases the Gods of BPD And I just to deal with my emotional instability I wish for at least a week of tranquility within Instead of a pendulum of ever changing mood swings When will I finally get calm and peace?
Happy Mother’s Day! I wrote this poem in April of last year inspired by my sons.
us in May of 2022
finding someone to love used to be a priority until love burned me one too many times besides Iβve always had 3 somebodies to love that always deserved all of my attention with them Iβm never alone with them there will always be inspiration with them my love overflows at this point, it would be useless for anyone to compete with this complete kind of love
Anxiety can affect your long-term health. It can limit your ability to exert control, paralyze you, and make you feel helpless. In fact, according to a study by the Global Burden of Disease, depression is the sixth-leading cause of disability. Fortunately, there are things you can do to prevent anxiety attacks. Here are just a few, presented below by Life on the BPD.
Spend Time Outdoors
Spending more time outdoors can reduce anxiety and stress. Your brain receives more oxygen when you breathe in the fresh air, resulting in increased levels of serotonin β the neurotransmitter that alters your mood. Simply walking to the store for milk can lower your levels of cortisol, a stress-causing chemical in your body.
You’re more likely to feel tired at night if you spend more time outdoors during the day. The better sleep you get at night, the less anxiety you’ll experience the following day.
Find a More Rewarding Job
Many people find themselves in jobs that they do not enjoy which causes anxiety. If you are one of these people, it may be time to start looking for a more rewarding job. When searching for a new job, think about what you are looking for in a job and consider your interests and skills.
Once you have a good idea of what you want, begin your search by looking at job postings online. Take the time to update your resume with your latest skills and experience. This free resume may help you get started. You can use this β or similar β templates, which you can modify by adding your own fonts, colors, and images. It will give you a great start to refreshing your current resume.
You may find that, instead of a new job, youβre more interested in a new career with new possibilities. In that case, consider going back to school. There are plenty of reputable, accredited schools with online degree and certification programs, so you can complete coursework on your own time. This page deserves a look if you are interested in technology-related certifications, like CompTIA A+, Cloud+, or Operations Specialist.
Keep an Anxiety Journal
Recording your daily stress and anxiety levels through an anxiety journal is a simple and guided process. Writing them down helps you identify triggers and negative situations that cause your anxiety. So where do you start?
Write down your concerns. Write down any immediate concerns you have. Describe them in detail while remembering that with anxiety, it’s not always about what’s happening in the here and now but what’s on the horizon.
Review what you’ve written. Ask yourself questions along the lines of: what are the odds of this happening? How do you know? Are you certain? How could you change a ο»Ώnegative into a positive if your worries materialize?
Rewrite the script. Write down one or more ways to approach a thought or fear differently. Next to your fears, write down different possibilities, and create new endings.
These are just a few ideas to get you started on your anxiety journal. VeryWell Mind explains that writing in your journal daily helps you better understand your anxiety and hopefully prevents future anxiety attacks.
Create a Happy and Clutter-Free Environment
Your anxiety levels may increase if your family constantly argues, complains, and is overly critical. You can relieve tension in your home by creating a welcoming and vibrant space. Open your windows to let in the fresh air, declutter, and do a deep clean to bring positivity.
It helps if you optimize your workspace to avoid work-related stress. Rather than sitting in a traditional office chair for long periods, try an ergonomic one. They help keep your body safe and upright to reduce stress on the spine and neck. Insufficient office lighting can reduce energy, dampen mood, and cause eyestrain. Position your desk so that your back is facing the window. You’ll benefit from the light and avoid distractions. In the absence of natural light in your workspace, you can create the illusion of natural window lighting using light colors, such as white and cream, on the walls.
Start Living Again
Having anxiety can prevent you from leading a normal life. You can get so worked up about an upcoming event that when it arrives, you’re a nervous wreck. Or the simple idea of doing things becomes overwhelming. Anxiety can be debilitating, but there are strategies you can use to calm yourself and lower your anxiety levels. Start by spending some time outside every day (if possible) and use an anxiety journal to help process your feelings. And if your job β or career β isn’t working for you, build a new resume and find a new opportunity. This is your life. Donβt let your anxious mind control it for you.
Life can be challenging, but itβs better to experience it together. Life on the BPD is my attempt to share my challenges to make others feel less alone β and to process my own experiences. Visit my website today to join our community.
5 Strategies for Self-Improvement When Youβve Been Diagnosed With a Bipolar Disorder by Julia Mitchell
After receiving a bipolar diagnosis, you may be wondering what the best course of action is in order to manage the condition while tending to your daily obligations. How will you cope with your symptoms and lead a fulfilling life? Here are some strategies you should discuss with your healthcare professional:
Stick to Your Treatment Plan
Once youβve been diagnosed as bipolar, your physician will prescribe medication and put you on a treatment plan. But since there are no one-size-fits-all drugs when it comes to treating this condition, youβll have to go through a bit of a trial-and-error period before you get on the right dosage. Through it all, try to be patient and persistent. Do not get discouraged, and stick with your treatment plan until you start seeing results. And donβt be afraid to voice your concerns to your doctor if you feel something isnβt working as it should.
Focus On Your Sleep
Lack of sleep and poor sleep quality can exacerbate symptoms for people with bipolar disorder. So strive to stick to a bedtime routine that will promote a restful night. Avoid heavy foods, caffeine, and alcohol too close to bedtime. Try to go to bed at the same time each night; having a relaxing ritual like a soothing bath, a cup of chamomile tea, reading, or meditating can help get you into a more relaxed state. Turn off your screens and smartphone at least 30 minutes before you lie down for the night. And keep the temperature at a comfortable level to help you stay asleep longer.
Work on Your Career Plan
A fulfilling and rewarding career can help keep symptom activators and triggers at bay, and establishing healthy relationships with coworkers and colleagues who share the same passion will help you thrive at your job. If teaching younger generations is your calling, find an accredited online school with competitive rates and check this program that will lead to a bachelorβs education degree. Pursuing a degree online allows you to take classes when itβs most convenient for you and your family, so you can fit them into your busy life without feeling stressed out.
Take Time for Self-Care
Between family and work obligations, you may feel pulled in a multitude of directions. You can start feeling stressed out, angry, and like youβre losing control of your life. And when you suffer from bipolar disorder, youβre either too busy to take time for yourself or too depressed to do anything for yourself. So try to stick to one project at a time, and learn to say no or to delegate to avoid feeling overwhelmed. And when youβre feeling down, make sure to go outside to get some fresh air, meet with some friends, and indulge in things that make you happy.
Start a Side Business
If pursuing a favorite hobby helps you manage your bipolar symptoms, think about ways you can turn this enjoyable pastime into a small business of your own. There are online resources to help you get started, such as LLC formation services which will walk you through all the legal ins and outs of structuring and launching a business. By using such a service, you wonβt need to hire a lawyer to get all the tax benefits offered by a limited liability company.
If youβve been recently diagnosed, ask your therapist for strategies that will make living with bipolar disorder and coping with symptoms easier. Learn to recognize your triggers, take time for self-care, and develop a toolbox of skills and activities to help stabilize your mood.
Have you or a loved one been diagnosed with a bipolar or borderline personality disorder? Youβre not alone! Please follow my healing journey at lifeonthebpd.com.
Life doesn’t always go the way we planned, and oftentimes our finances take a hit during these detours. Perhaps you lost your job because of downsizing, or youβve struggled to find good-paying work. Or you could be recovering from financial debt from an extended illness or repair. No matter the cause, financial stress can feel inescapable. Fortunately, there are some steps you can take to change your situation. Life on the BPD explains how.
Consider Changing Careers
Unemployment is a serious problem, and many people have been out of work. The number of people reporting unemployment has varied a lot recently, but numbers are slowly decreasing. This is a great trend, but lost money during extended unemployment can impact you for a long time. And if your new job doesnβt pay enough, it will be difficult to financially recover from that deficit.
If you’re noticing changes to your work prospects with no end in sight, or if the type of job you were doing wonβt pay enough to get you back out of debt, you may want to consider changing careers. Think about other areas of interest where your education and work history may be relevant. Consider going back to school. There are many options from traditional classes to night classes or even online degree programs.
Lastly, you may decide that you want to start a business of your very own. Beyond coming up with an idea for your company, there are a few things you need to do to get things started. First, you need to come up with a business idea. This can be something you’re passionate about or have experience in. Once you have your idea, you’ll need to start planning everything out. This includes coming up with a name, logo, and brand. You’ll also need to create a website and social media accounts. Once all of that is done, you’ll need to start marketing your business and getting customers. The best way to do this is by networking and using social media. Finally, you’ll need to continue growing your business by always being on the lookout for new opportunities. If you do all of these things, you’ll be well on your way to starting a new company.
Take Time for Yourself
Between work, family obligations, and worrying, you may find you have little time for yourself. This can lead to a vicious cycle of a lack of sleep and anxiety. When you’re stressed and not getting enough sleep, you’re more likely to eat poorly, which only worsens the problems. Instead, do something just for yourself. You could read a book, take a relaxing bath, or exercise. Engage in anything that takes your mind off your financial problems.
Reevaluate Goals
It may feel overwhelming, but now is a great time to reestablish your financial goals, since you are dedicated to getting yourself back on track financially. Take a look at your current goals and decide if they’re still feasible. It may be time to alter them to adjust to the economic climate and extend the overall timeline. Set positive goals with smaller sub-goals so that you can see your progress. But also push yourself towards a challenging final goal. You may be surprised by what a little positive anxiety can help you accomplish.
If youβre not sure how to set new goals, consider working with a financial planner or doing some online research. They gather helpful information about financial planning, including professionals who can come alongside you to create and support these goals and present them online. A little guidance can go a long way!
Create a New Budget
Budgeting helps you know exactly how much money is coming in and going out. You know how much you can save monthly and how much you have to enjoy.
However, when situations change your budget needs to change, too. You may currently have more costs related to your household, potentially less income, and possibly fewer entertainment options. At this point, it’s time to create a new budget with all this in mind.
Once you have an accurate, up-to-date budget, you should look for areas where you can spend less and save more. With an uncertain economic climate, it’s more important than ever to have a nest egg.
Consider Refinancing Your Home
The pandemic brought about historically low refinance rates. Look at your options, because you could save yourself money each month and in the long run. For example, you can look into cash-out refinancing, which replaces your current mortgage with a larger one. You then receive the difference between the old and new as cash, which gives you some money to use however you choose.
If youβre interested in refinancing, youβll need to gather some information first. When you cash out or take a home equity loan, the lender needs to know your homeβs current appraisal and the amount you still owe on your house. The appraisal will determine how much your home is worth now so that your lender can calculate how much equity you have in your home. The equity is the amount of money your home is appraised for minus the amount you still owe on your mortgage.
Don’t Let Hardships Take a Toll on Your Finances
Life has a way of surprising us – sometimes for good and other times not-so-good. Even if youβve experienced some financial hardships lately, donβt let them completely derail your finances. Take a deep breath and reevaluate. Then, take steps today to start putting away money, even if that means you have to make a career change or reevaluate your budget.
Fuck you, fuck me, fuck everyone Is my mood stabilizer working yet? and fuck, fuck, fuck my brain chemistry it makes me so angry and crazy Sometimes Iβd rather feel nothing than constantly feeling everything Between my anxiety, depression, bipolar And bpd I canβt trust my brain to tell me the difference between right and wrong I canβt trust my heart if my feelings are valid or if itβs inner critic preying on my insecurities on day likes this Iβd rather disappear because being me gets so exhausting
I wrote this in March of 2022 for World Bipolar Day.
I wear the stigma of a bipolar diagnosis and hide this big secret This secret has been a part of me since my teens This secret explains my sometimes uncontrollable insanity This secret at times robs me of my sleep This secret has taken me on many fun and lustful adventures This secret makes me write, write, write so I donβt want to die, die, die I keep this secret and take medication for it But one day, Iβll scream out loud my mental health truth Iβm bipolar 2 Iβm not enough to ruin your life but just enough to fuck it up a little at a time
I never needed anyone to teach me how to love what I needed was understanding and acceptance while my love is kind and sweet most of the time my love also cannot be tamed at times when it gets wild and out of control it’s better to just ride the big wave of it until it is tamed and soft again it wasn’t that I didn’t know how to love It’s just that most donβt know how to handle it my kind of overwhelming love is a crazy kind of love it will hurt you, challenge you and bring conflict it will make you want to slap the shit out of me because yes it’s that intense but my kind of of love is always worthy
Iβm tired of the bustle and hustle that comes with my social status and the color of my skin Why wasnβt I raised with privilege and wealth instead of being raised with poverty and trauma? And I try and I try and I try to find a way out of this cruel existence but itβs futile I take pride in my never ending hustling but at times it feels so exhausting There seems to no end in sight for this fruitless fight
My copy of Love Pangs is a little banged up because I keep rereading it
Melia Cogan has done it again with her second poetry collection. She paints a picture of the beauty of love and the euphoria it brings to oneβs life. This book will make you weak at your knees and perhaps even want to get you on a dating app to look for that special someone to experience the magic of love. Cogan explores the mosaic of emotions that come with love. Through Coganβs verse, I was transported to the alluring and sometimes tumultuous journey of love.
Iβll talk about my 2 favorite poems from the poetry collection.
One of the poems that really resonated with me was βShould I Allow Myselfβ. I liked how profound this poem is-it speaks about allowing yourself to fall in love recklessly while risking your vulnerability. Itβs risking everything to be in the moment of that special memory of love. This is presented in the lines βTogether/the possibilities/reach for me in the night/and primarily/I wish they were you (Cogan)β. It’s a desire for longing to be with that special someone.
The other poem that I really related to was βIβm Hiding from Loveβbecause thatβs kind of where Iβm at right now. This is captured in the lines βWell. I enjoy my boat not toppling over in the sea/and my house not catching on fire (Cogan). Cogan is perceptive of what heartbreak feels like and how some of us are so burned by it,weβll avoid it at all costs. The metaphors of the boat and fire feel like a truth Iβve encountered many times. Itβs how anger and sorrow makes me feel like Iβm either drowning or burning inside when it comes to heartbreak. Cogan captures these strong emotions in an intelligent and creative way that Iβm sure resonates with mine and othersβ experiences with the agony and torment that grief from heartbreak can bring.
I would recommend this poetry collection if you like to explore the depths of love and the complex emotions that come with it.
text message from me to the person who inspired this poem
Maybe I was captious in thinking you wanted sex but you were really depressed and needed help I was moody and tired and couldnβt be bothered so I turned off my phone and wanted to be alone I thought it was no big deal to not get back on our idiot ferris wheel and now I hope itβs not too late and prioritizing myself wasnβt a mistake because I couldnβt stand the thought of you harming yourself be my fault
weβre procrastinating our end not wanting to face the consequences of our doomed relationship so we keep wasting our time pretending weβre fine putting a bandaid of sex on our petty conflicts and keep using each other as blankets for our loneliness instead of being grown ups and admit how our love is no longer worth any effort
is it the devil who takes over me and makes me crazy? Or is it God punishing me for past mistakes or maybe it isnβt either And I really have fucked up genetics
I fell into the trap of βacceptanceβ not understanding I was slowly losing parts of myself for the sake of fitting in, for the sake of other people who loved to judge me accept that youβre too fat to wear that bikini accept that youβre too old to chase your dreams accept that youβre too hard to love it took me too long to figure out the acceptance of others was costing me my sanity and my self worth and I said, βfuck your opinions on who I should beβ from now on, Iβll wear whatever I want, Iβll chase my dreams, and Iβll always be worthy of loveβ
Life on the BPD 
