I wrote this poem in August of 2022.
I love her and she will be mine-
because i know what’s good for her
because she needs me in her life
as she’s a complete mess
and I can save her I can fix her
I can be her hero
her confidant, her eternal lover
no, Susan or Ken, your ex wasn’t a narcissist, they just got tired of your bullshit. honestly, though, we need to stop arm chair diagnosing people with this word. it’s turning into a “catch all term” to make us feel better about ourselves when a relationship ends or we have a fallout with someone. I’ve been accused of it and I’ve accused others of it and it just made things worse. So, yeah, let’s stop using the word “narcissist” unless we are a legit mental health professional or we know for sure that person has been diagnosed as a narcissist.
Here’s the English version of this poem:
Poetry: Dead End
me encuentro en un callejón sin salida atada a una vida desgraciada
del cual no consigo huir
decepcion, desilusion y responsabilidades desde una temprana edad
cimentaron mi destino a nunca tener una vida normal con estabilidad
¿Será demasiado tarde para que yo viva algo más que esta vida llena de miseria?
when the world gets to be too much
I block, I delete, I ignore
I don’t want to waste my precious energy and time
on anything that drains me, that robs me of my peace
I’ve fought too hard to get to a place of serenity
and I can’t allow anyone or anything
to ruin my newfound reality of tranquility
Here’s the English version of this poem:
Poetry: Bad Place
encadenada en mis pensamientos oscuros que luchó de escapar
pero no hay remedio para esta depresión hincada en mi
que me cubre con una niebla de incertidumbre
no me deja en paz, no me deja vivir
I wrote this poem in August of 2022.
Insecurities and anxiety from my immigrant childhood
Come out to play and my adult self wants to run away
I thought I was healed from this
I hate these triggers—but I still confront them even if I don’t want to
I cry and write about them, reprocess something not quite healed
Am I on the way to my recovery from BPD?
Here’s the English Version of this poem:
Poetry: Company
Querido amigo, ¿por qué quieres que pase la noche contigo?
¿Será porque quieres usar mi cuerpo para que cubra tu soledad?
¿Será porque estás triste por el rechazo de aquella?
lo siento, pero me tengo que ir
no me prestaré para ser uno de tus antojos temporáneos
porque tu no sabes como enfrentar tus sentimientos
I wrote this poem in August of 2022.
love makes me feel trapped
trapped in a cage of desire and emotions
that I want to escape from
and I still try thinking this time
it will be different except it never is
so I’m giving up for a while-
Giving myself time to prepare for my next victim
Describe your life in an alternate universe.
here is the English version of this poem:
Poetry: Dear Brad
Queridisimo Brad-
lo siento por no dejar que me lleves a tu cama
y que me uses como te dé la gana
es que aprendi mi leccion
y ahora entendió que soy un tesoro
que no puede gastar su energía
en alguien que no mas me quiere
por un ratito y despues se va
I wrote this poem in August of 2022.
the facade of equality is cloaked in good intentions and lovely words-
and while laws have been passed to prevent discrimination
and to try to level the game of success,
it’s all a sham, it’s all a con
we still live in a world where the color of your skin and social status
and gender determine your prosperity
here is the English version of this poem:
Poetry: Caught Between
entreverada entre dos mundos en oposición
perdió mi lenguaje y los pocos recuerdo de mi patria
y sigo siendo una extranjera en mi patria adoptiva
y nunca aceptada-
me siento rechazada y sin una identidad
trato de encajar en dos culturas que me acusan
de nunca ser suficiente
y vivo un conflicto internal
y un dia me harto y digo me vale madre
lo que los peruanos y americanos digan o piensen de mi
la unica opinion que vale, que importa es la mía
List 30 things that make you happy.
I wrote this poem in August of 2022.
did you drink your water today?
did you remind yourself you’re worthy of love?
did you understand you were always enough?
will you repeat after me-
I won’t run away from or suppress my feelings
I need to face my emotions head on
or else I’ll break down
aqui esta la version en espanol:
Poesia: Falsa Esperanza
you were my hope in love restored
everything I had dreamed of
everything I had wished for
and it was nice for a while-
getting lost in our love
thinking it was safe,
thinking it could be my permanent sanctuary
until one day like clockwork
you changed your mind and decided I wasn’t enough
and I was left wondering “what the fuck is wrong with me?”
Life on the BPD 