For the English version of this poem, click link below:
https://lifeonthebpd.com/2021/11/15/poetry-why-did-you/
Porque me demore tanto tiempo
en descubrir que tu eras
otra cancion estupida
Porque tuvistes que ser una basura
y dejarme con un sabor amargo en mi boca
Porque me creí en tu actuación de hombre bueno
Porque causastes una herida tan severa en mi corazón
Estoy harta de este infierno de tristeza
Porque te apareciste en mi vida
solo para arruinarmela
I wrote this poem sometime around 2014 or 2015. I was feeling nostalgic about a former flame I had been obsessed with. This tends to happen a lot with me. Letting go of my past is hard at times.
Shadows of my past
Envelop my future
Everywhere I go
Time has passed
I am older
Harsh experiences
Have made my cynical
And embrace
My mediocrity
But still
Shadows of the past
Envelop my future
Everywhere i go
I’m happy that you found
Your idyllic happiness
With someone else
And living the life
You always wanted
But shadows of our past
Envelop my future
Everywhere I go
I love my children
I love my spouse
But for one more moment
Of us
I would leave them
And everything else behind
Shadows of our past
Envelops my future
Everywhere I go
Here is the English Version of this poem:
https://lifeonthebpd.com/2021/11/09/poetry-hell-sent/
Debi seguido mi intuición
cuando sentí que me mentías
Cuando me decías que estabas trabajando
En realidad, estabas follando
Debí irme de tu vida
la primera vez que me mentiste
pero quería creer en tu cuento de hadas
ahora siento un alivio profundo desde que terminamos
porque tu fuistes mandado del infierno
I wrote this 2013 about my husband.
Silence, awkward silence is what was left after everything they needed to say was said
It was the same fight over and over again.
Old wounds were brought to the surface and reopened.
She blamed him for derailing her ambitions
and he blamed her for derailing the productive and selfish life he once led.
They both couldn’t see that they were both at fault
for not continuing to push each other to flourish
but instead they fell into a complacent spell
And a pattern of a comfortable
and the fruitless routine of suburban life.
And the years went on and they had nothing to show for it
except debt and wrinkles they both inflicted upon themselves.
And the years went on and all that was left
was regret for her for the things that she didn’t get to experien
For the English Version of this poem, click link below:
https://lifeonthebpd.com/2021/11/19/poetry-i-thought/
Fuistes otro amor falso
otro lleno de perfidio
pretendiendo tener buenas intenciones
me causaste una desconfianza profunda
Espinas de odio crecieron en mi
aprendiendo que era otra falda más
fue una verdad difícil de tragar
Ahora gritaré todo mi miseria y rencor
I wrote this poem in 2006 about my Mother In Law and my second son. We lived with her for a year and she was enamored by him.
Almost frozen in her familiarity
Trapped by her body’s slow betrayal
Boredom and solitude embrace her tightly
Her unheard cries drown her
Forgotten, forgotten she was
Her world had come to an almost silent
Pause
Until
She saw him
With beady eyes as blue as hers
And skin rumpled as lover’s sheets
He was a heinous sight
But to her
He was splendid to her dying eyes
He became her last burst of joy,
Her last adoration
And her last breath of life
She was ending with his fresh scent of purity
And he was starting with her aged scent of experience
I wrote this poem in January of this year for a DBT exercise about being creative.
My love for Joe Goldberg is for real
even if he is a psycho serial killer
he might kill me but won’t abandon me
or break up with me
My love for Joe Goldberg is healthy and lovely
It brings a calm and serenity like no other
My love for Joe Goldberg makes me understand
Myself better
I’m like him, in love with love
My love for Joe Goldberg is the only one I want
for now
I’d rather deal with a fictional crazy Joe
rather than a real life asshole
For the English version of the poem, click on the link below:
https://lifeonthebpd.com/2021/08/04/poetry-i-hate-to-whine/
No quiero quejarme
pero desperdiciaste mi tiempo
no pensé que fueras otro canalla
o que me dejarías con un hueco tan profundo
Es un dolor constante y tremendo
tu cara manipuladora está grabada en mi mente
No quiero quejarme
pero estaba buscando una señal
que tu eras mi alma gemela
Y no otra persona que me llenaría con odio
Que tu eras el hombre de mis sueños
No otro hombre que rompería mi cordura
I wrote this in 2009 about Brad.
Rejection
Is an interruption
Of the infatuation
I felt towards you
Rejection
Is a profound sadness
With a river of tears
That flows down my cheeks
Rejection
Is a broken promise
You made
That breaks my heart
Along with the rest of me
Rejection
Is the start of learning
Who you are
Behind the facade
Of infatuation
Here is the English Version of this poem:
https://lifeonthebpd.com/2021/11/30/poetry-pride/
Nunca sabrás del dolor
Que sentí por tu abandono
nunca veras
las lagrimas que llore por ti
nunca descubrirás
como me llenaste con agonía
Porque soy demasiado orgullosa
para admitir que fui una babosa
Por que tengo demasiada dignidad
para estar llena de miseria por tu culpa
Por tengo demasiado respeto
Para convertirme en un desastre
Here is the English version of this poem:
https://lifeonthebpd.com/2022/10/02/eliza-conquers-heartbreak-poetry-edition-2/
Espero, espero, y espero por tu llamada
para oír que mi soledad fue una pesadilla
Espero, espero, y espero que aparezcas en mi puerta
para decirme que todavía me deseas
Espero por tu carta por correo
diciéndome que me echas de menos
Here is the English Version of this poem:
Poetry: So You
Lo siento por ti
piensas que has ganado
pero serás otra mujer usada
crees que te ama
pero es una de sus mentiras
piensas que el es tu príncipe azul
pero tu dignidad parara en el suelo
tienes un canalla y mentiroso a tu lado
que te dejará con un mal sabor en tu boca
no digo esto porque te tengo envidia
es una advertencia
para que no acabes como mi
otra de sus muchas mujeres
que el trate como una muñeca de trapo
I wrote this in 2009 when I was feeling contemplative about life.
Horizon
The horizon stretches out before me
In a limitless manner
I see a future but am unsure
Of which path to walk towards
Everything is a blank slate to me
Undefined by my indecision
The moment I choose
Is the moment I’ll become
Something, anything
Than the nothingness
That I am
The horizon stretches out before me
Offering everything and nothing
Offering this or that
Offering a wasted life
Or a meaningful one
The horizon stretches out before me
And I need to stop
My hesitation
And become a person of actions
And do something, anything
So the horizon is not wasted
Life on the BPD 