poetry: nobody knew

I wrote this poem in January of 2022.

Let's love ourselves first
We should love ourselves first

Nobody knew about our sexcapade
You were a temporary escape
From the emptiness and loneliness
I felt in my suburban adolescence

Nobody knew about me and you
Until I could no longer hide
the living creature inside

Nobody knew about me and you
Until my belly grew and grew
And half of it was you

Nobody knew about our short fling
Until one day I had to sing
I’m pregnant with a stranger’s baby
No,he’ll never be the one or even a maybe

poetry: getting to reality

I wrote this poem in January of 2022.

self love is sexy

I fall in love easily
Reckless without abandon
Wanting to give him
My everything
This is my fairytale
I am sixteen

I fall in love with caution,
with time, with patience
with acceptance
Wanting to give him
My forever
This is my fairytale
I am 23

I fall in love immediately
Impulsively, sexually
Wanting to give him a love
he’s never known before
This is my fairy tale
I am 37

I fall in love with laughter,
With dancing, with practicality
I want to give him my life
This is my fairytale
I am 39

I fall in love with my body
With my creativity, with my resilience
I want to pour all the love I have
Into myself
I am 40
This is my reality

poetry: he’s praying for me

I wrote this poem in January of 2022.

Quote about self love
Choosing yourself is self love

My former lover prays for me because I won’t fuck him
Is this how it feels like to change my story from on call whore
to an I’m healing and deserve better “Woman
Is this how it feels like to to go from fun girl to healthy woman
I use to measure my worth by who loved me or who wanted to fuck me
but those days of impulsivity and “hey, this will be fun”
are long gone
Now are the days of painful transformations,therapy worksheets, self reflection
and most importantly self love
So I put away my sexy vixen persona
And I put on my ” “I’m authentic without apologies persona”
I’ve stopped living to please others
and now live to please myself

Poetry: Sanity

I wrote this poem in January of 2018 .

me in 2018 around the time I wrote this poem

I’m disappointed once again -being here with you
You represent everything I thought I wanted
But-
You don’t compare to him
You make my body sing with pleasure
but don’t sweep up the mess that I am
You are there to help me escape
but never to rescue me
SO I choose him
Who chooses to be there for me
When I chase death in a bathtub or a bottle
Because while sex and lust feels good
when it’s happening
It doesn’t compare to the love
and support he’s provided in keeping me alive
So I say goodbye to a life
Full of lust filled fantasies
and accept the one and only who truly
cares for me

Poetry: My Sister y Yo

I wrote this poem in January of 2020.

me in January of 2020

She’s an American
I’m an immigrant
She loves Trump
I’m a borderline socialist
She believes in money and brand names
I believe in love and poetry
Born from the same womb
But living in different worlds
She’s upper middle class
I’m working class
She’s latina when it suits her
I’m latina every single day
She’s the definition of assimilation
I get called out by HR for being too Peruvian
She’s the American Dream
And I’m the immigrant

poetry: confusion

I wrote this poem in January of 2021.

so true

I live in a constant world of confusion
Confused about who I am-
Confused about who I should be-

I live in a strange world of confusion
Confused about how I feel
Confused about how I should feel

I live in a crazy world of confusion
Confused about who I love
Confused about who I should love

I live in a chaotic world of confusion
Constantly and pathetically confused about who is the real me

poetry: beyond redemption

I wrote this poem in January of 2025.

the kind of energy this poem brings

under a tequila sunrise in L.A,he breaks apart once again
she committed the ultimate act of treason against him
and he couldn’t forgive her again
this time he couldn’t put a bandaid of his love
to make it all better
this time he had a son to think about
this time his family would disown him if he stayed with her
so he packed up her stuff, put the boxes and suitcases
of her belongings outside
changed the locks and filed for divorce
even as he broke inside, he held all of his emotions in
and even though he considered her the grand love of his life
he had to cut all ties with her
this time she hadn’t just broken law of not just decency
and morality with her actions
this time her horrid actions made her beyond redemption
this time she had gone too far

poetry: no second thoughts

I wrote this poem in December of 2024.

I’m someone’s miracle an muse

lighting hits me and I’m in love all over again
this time I take my vows seriously
this time I believe in the whole
“til death do us part” bit
this time it’s far from perfect and ideal
but for once in my life
we’re enough for each other
and there are no seconds thoughts
that this is true love

poetry: is this it?

I wrote this poem in December of 2024.

me manifesting hard for this moment

found love where I least expected it
and when it happened
it felt like an earthquake where the ground
broke from under me
it felt like all of the hurt and pain experienced
before had been worth it
for the one waiting in the wings for me
as he sits by me and reassures me
when the world feels chaotic and overwhelming
He tells me I’m one of the best things
that happened to him
and has never made me feel less
or like a burden to him
and all of it still feels so strange to me
is this really happening to me?
or is it all a dream?
and I finally at the end of my marathon of lust and love
I have been running since the age of 15

poetry: storni

I wrote this poem in December of 2024.

Alfonsina Storni found me on a cold november night
and it was what my spirit needed to be resuscitated
into feeling something
Alfonsina Storni found me on a cold november night
and I couldn’t wait to show mami
she dedicated Hombre Pequeñito to Papi
and we laugh at his expense for a minute
Alfonsina Storni found me on a cold november night
and I watched her 1957 bio pic with mami
we stood in awe at how progressive it was for its time
but at the same time understood how much progress
still needed to be made for woman kind

poetry: false start

I wrote this poem in December of 2023.

You were one of my false starts this year
it wasn’t your fault though
I tend to get stars in my eyes
over any man who gives me attention,
And is equally emotionally unavailable

It’s a lethal combination for me
And even if I know better,
I always fall for it
except this time
I fell harder than usual
because you’re also a man
who calls me out on my bullshit

poetry: new muse

I wrote this poem in December of 2023.

not sure when a new muse will appear
I just gave up on my most recent one
I can take a hint
he’s not interested
he’s scared because I’m too crazy
and will fuck up his life
and maybe he’s right
maybe I’m not healed enough,
not intelligent enough
maybe for him I’m just not enough
and this doesn’t make me angry
I’m in the acceptance phase
I’ll no longer bother him
I’ll just let him be
I’ll just wait for a new muse to appear
out of nowhere from my dreams
into my real life
my manifestation game is strong
though sometimes my aim is off

poetry: crushing

I wrote this poem in December of 2022.

I still smile at my phone every time I get a text from you
and ugh-crush season is here again-
even as I constantly say, nope, it’s over
we’re better off as friends,
I’ll never be enough for him
So I avoid you but you appear in my dreams
Sometimes we’re a thing,
other times you appear in the background
and I can’t even make it a week
without texting you-and haha-
Surprise, surprise I still like you and ew-
a crush in my middle age
it’s so fucking embarrassing