escribo otro poema patético acerca de otra idiota mas no estaba impresionada desde la primera conversación con lo pretencioso que eras pero todavía decidí en darte una oportunidad nunca pensé que me harías sentir como una ignorante Nunca sentí tanta repulsión contra un hombre Nunca habrá un futuro entre los dos
I wrote this 2001 when I took a break from writing angry breakup poetry-lol. As an immigrant that grew up here, I’ve struggled with my identity for most of my life. Issues with identity are also another trait of BPD. I think this was a time in my life when I was especially reflecting on this part of my identity because I was become aware that men were fetishizing me.
me in 2001 around the time I wrote this poem
Caught between two worlds what am I made up of more hopefully I won’t ever have to choose sometimes I wish to just cut loose
Too Latina for the American side Too Americanizada for the Latino side So what is the politically correct term for someone like me? Not American, not born here Not fully Latina either for I lack that latin allure
So I’ll call myself one of a kind a girl with much Latin beauty and an American mind like a delicious half and half cream whose taste is an amazing mixed dream
Tengo miedo que de nuevo se rompa mi corazón Estoy preocupado que algún día me pares de amar Estoy cansada después de tantos mentirosos tengo cuidado que de no convertirme en una idiota otra vez
I wrote this in 2006 after I was reflecting my first years of being a mother to my eldest child who I had at 17. Becoming a mother at such a young age didn’t make me the best parent and at times I still tried to act my age and party a lot even though I was a parent. It used to eat me up inside but I’ve come to terms that I did the best I could under the circumstances.
Querido, lo que dijiste me partió el alma nunca pensé que eras un racista no se si te pueda perdonar quedarme contigo mataría mi alma Lamento haberte conocido Y me duele decirte Tenemos que terminar Nuestro cuento de amor Te deseo lo mejor Ojalá que algún día Dejas tus prejuicios atrás
I wrote this in 2006 about my husband, then boyfriend. I tend to put a lot of my worth in the person I’m romantically involved with. This is another BPD trait.
me in 2006 with my middle child
Rising from darkness I struggle to find
the light in the oblivion
that has become my life.
The light is bright with love without conditions .