Here is the English version of this poem:
https://lifeonthebpd.com/2021/09/27/poetry-another-girl/
Me haces sentir una tristeza profunda
y me estoy deshaciendo por esto
no sé qué hacer
sabiendo que amas a otra
me siento desamparada
siento un alboroto interno
Y viéndote con ella
ahora veo que fui otra estúpida más
I wrote this in 2006 when I was frustrated and fantasized about leaving my husband.
What if I don’t think?
About our precious link
And decide to go
Without letting you know
And let you wake up
Free of our never ending rut
What if I don’t feel your love
And am no longer good enough
And continue to fight for us
And leaving you becomes a must
What if I choose to be free
and leave you abruptly
and live my life without you
because I finally learned my value
Day 23 of doing a 31-day poetry prompt challenge. Today’s prompt was “From the Ashes of the Phoenix” . The artwork is “Mama Quilla” by artist Rodrigo Elgueta in 2001.
I love you
but I hate you
I miss you
but you’re a jerk
I desire you
but your love is awful
I want you here with me
but you make me suffer
I want to kiss you
but you steal my calm
I keep you in my heart
but with you I lose my mind
Day 22 of doing a 31-day poetry prompt challenge. Today’s prompt was “Crossing a Threshold”
This is another poem about the bio dad of my oldest son. Obviously I had a lot of anger directed at him that I should have gone to therapy for but instead I just wrote a lot of angry poetry. Ha.
You don’t know him and chances are
You never will
You could’ve been somebody real in his life
But you BLEW IT!
So now is the time to say
Goodbye forever.
Here is the English version of this poem:
https://lifeonthebpd.com/2021/08/30/poetry-another-pathetic-guy/
escribo otro poema patético
acerca de otra idiota mas
no estaba impresionada
desde la primera conversación
con lo pretencioso que eras
pero todavÃa decidà en darte
una oportunidad
nunca pensé que me harÃas
sentir como una ignorante
Nunca sentà tanta repulsión
contra un hombre
Nunca habrá un futuro
entre los dos
Day 20 of doing a 31-day poetry prompt challenge. Today’s prompt is “Falling in Fall” .
I wrote this 2001 when I took a break from writing angry breakup poetry-lol. As an immigrant that grew up here, I’ve struggled with my identity for most of my life. Issues with identity are also another trait of BPD. I think this was a time in my life when I was especially reflecting on this part of my identity because I was become aware that men were fetishizing me.
Caught between two worlds
what am I made up of more
hopefully I won’t ever have to choose
sometimes I wish to just cut loose
Too Latina for the American side
Too Americanizada for the Latino side
So what is the politically correct term for someone like me?
Not American, not born here
Not fully Latina either
for I lack that latin allure
So I’ll call myself one of a kind
a girl with much Latin beauty and an American mind
like a delicious half and half cream
whose taste is an amazing mixed dream
Day 19 of doing a 31-day poetry prompt challenge. Today’s prompt is “Legends to Myths”
Day 18 of doing a 31-day poetry prompt challenge. Today’s prompt was “the trees narrate stories”.
Here is the English version of this poem:
https://lifeonthebpd.com/2021/12/15/poetry-scared/
Tengo miedo
que de nuevo se rompa
mi corazón
Estoy preocupado que algún dÃa
me pares de amar
Estoy cansada después
de tantos mentirosos
tengo cuidado que de no
convertirme en una idiota
otra vez
Day 17 of doing a 31-day poetry prompt challenge. The prompt today is “Soulless Conundrum”.
I wrote this in 2006 after I was reflecting my first years of being a mother to my eldest child who I had at 17. Becoming a mother at such a young age didn’t make me the best parent and at times I still tried to act my age and party a lot even though I was a parent. It used to eat me up inside but I’ve come to terms that I did the best I could under the circumstances.
Late nights at the club
Drunk and dancing-you
Singing lullabies
Until he fell asleep-I
Getting ass from
an unknown stranger-you
Looking for monsters under the bed
and wishing them away-I
Waking up in an unknown place
With a helluva hangover-you
Waking up from little hands
Shaking my shoulders-I
You and I=me
Me =two different truths
About the way your childhood
Was seen
Day 16 of this doing this 31-day prompt poetry challenge. The prompt of today is “Never Again”.
