Day 15 of doing a 31-day poetry prompt challenge. Today’s prompt is “Learning to Love Myself”.

Day 15 of doing a 31-day poetry prompt challenge. Today’s prompt is “Learning to Love Myself”.

Day 7 of doing a 31-day poetry prompt challenge. Today’s prompt was “Crystal Tears”

Day 6 of doing a 31-day poetry prompt challenge. Today’s prompt was “A Deafening Silence”



I wrote this in 2006 thinking back on my time with Lucas.

A shadow of our friendship
is all there is left
After life gets in the way
of wanting something more
And when I see you around
A wave, a nod
An acknowledgement we once knew
Each other
Our conversations are now long gone
But weβre forever etched in each
otherβs minds and dreams
I wrote this poem in 2002 about my oldest son’s bio dad. I had a lot of angry emotions about how he abandoned him.

A license to create is what shouldnβt
Be given to those who donβt know how to
Appreciate their childβs laughter
Or comfort their high pitch cries
A license to create is what shouldnβt
Be given to those who donβt understand
What it takes to be an example to
Those that descend from them
A license to create is what shouldnβt
Be given to those who leave children
In the dust to follow their own desires
Without looking back on their offspringβs
sad little face that whimpers,
βDaddy, come backβ
I wrote this in 2006 when me and my husband were in this monotonous routine of kids, work, and school. I felt lonely in our relationship and it was hard for me to express it to him.

Itβs frustrating
Living like this
Without desire or passion
The only thing thatβs left for us
Is to leave from here
This everlasting ocean of loneliness
In which we are drowning
And separately swim to the shore
of happiness
Where we both belong
I wrote this about my husband in 2006 when I thought he was being distant.

You didnβt think that I wouldnβt notice
That you have stopped caring for me
That when I reach to touch you
There is no response
How could something that started so beautiful
And intense end up so bland and empty
Weβre together
But worlds apart
You no longer share
Your worries, your dreams
Everything that we once were
Has been shredded to pieces
But both of us deny it
You wonβt tell me whatβs wrong
Our silences are starting to be dreadfully long
Why canβt you just tell me
The whats, whys, and whens
Of falling out of love with me
And get our breakup over with.

I wrote this poem in 2004 when I was pregnant with my second child and mad at my boyfriend (future husband) for his lack of affection and attention to me. I was obviously very upset when I wrote this poem and instead of talking to him I wrote and bottled up my anger.

You refuse to see
All the hurt youβre causing me
With your indifferent ways
Itβs a miracle you havenβt yet gone astray
You refuse to see
Our son is paying the fee
He may still be in my belly
But the tears you cause me
Also affect him
You refuse to see
That one day soon youβll lose me
If you donβt stop
Being so fucking cold.
I wrote this poem in 2004 about my husband, then boyfriend. I guess I was mad about his lack of affection. As you can see, this is a pattern for me. I bottle my emotions up until one day I explode.

If you donβt want any of this
You should just leave
I canβt take anymore
Of your uncaring words
I donβt want to keep you from
Having your fun
So just go away
You only hurt me if you stay
Go back to the way you used to be
Alone, happy, and free
And take your precious independence
You prefer it to our relationship nonsense
So stop acting like you care
To us, it wouldnβt be fair
Adieu, adios, and goodbye
To our enormous love lie
EscribΓ este poema en 2004 cuando estaba embarazada con mi segundo hijo y enfadada con mi novio porque Γ©l no me daba un lugar en su vida.

Ya me canse de esperar
Que me des un sitio en tu vida
Ya me canse de esperar
Con tanta ansiedad
De tus ganas de actuar
Ya me canse de esperar
Que vengas a llevarme
Para empezar una vida juntos
Con mucho amor
Ya me canse de esperar
Que actΓΊes con verdad
Alguna vez
I wrote this in 2004 about my husband who I thought was being distant at the time. As you can guess, I don’t deal with rejection well at all and this is one example of many of how my mind deals with it.

Your frigid ways turn me into nothing
I donβt ask for much
but to you I ask for the world
I try so hard to make something
Out of the nothing
That has become usβ¦
But all of it is meaningless to you

I wrote this in March of 2004 when I was feeling nostalgic about Lucas.

So many things left unsaid
the day you decided to get away
So much left undone
Because I was no longer fun
So many tears I had cried
Asking myself a thousand whys?
Why did you leave?
I thought we were a perfect fit.
What was wrong with us?
That made you leave in a rush
Why did you break my heart?
by pulling us apart
And why didnβt you love me so?
Itβs excruciating to let you go