Day 15 of doing a 31-day poetry prompt challenge. Today’s prompt is “Learning to Love Myself”.
Poem of the Day: My Home
Poem of the Day: Crystal Tears 😢
Day 7 of doing a 31-day poetry prompt challenge. Today’s prompt was “Crystal Tears”
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Poem of the Day: Crushing Silence
Day 6 of doing a 31-day poetry prompt challenge. Today’s prompt was “A Deafening Silence”
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Poem of the day: Abandoned Wishes
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Poetry: Acknowledgement
I wrote this in 2006 thinking back on my time with Lucas.
A shadow of our friendship
is all there is left
After life gets in the way
of wanting something more
And when I see you around
A wave, a nod
An acknowledgement we once knew
Each other
Our conversations are now long gone
But we’re forever etched in each
other’s minds and dreams
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Poetry: License
I wrote this poem in 2002 about my oldest son’s bio dad. I had a lot of angry emotions about how he abandoned him.
A license to create is what shouldn’t
Be given to those who don’t know how to
Appreciate their child’s laughter
Or comfort their high pitch cries
A license to create is what shouldn’t
Be given to those who don’t understand
What it takes to be an example to
Those that descend from them
A license to create is what shouldn’t
Be given to those who leave children
In the dust to follow their own desires
Without looking back on their offspring’s
sad little face that whimpers,
“Daddy, come back”
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Poetry: Frustrating
I wrote this in 2006 when me and my husband were in this monotonous routine of kids, work, and school. I felt lonely in our relationship and it was hard for me to express it to him.
It’s frustrating
Living like this
Without desire or passion
The only thing that’s left for us
Is to leave from here
This everlasting ocean of loneliness
In which we are drowning
And separately swim to the shore
of happiness
Where we both belong
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Poem: The Cold Shoulder
I wrote this about my husband in 2006 when I thought he was being distant.
You didn’t think that I wouldn’t notice
That you have stopped caring for me
That when I reach to touch you
There is no response
How could something that started so beautiful
And intense end up so bland and empty
We’re together
But worlds apart
You no longer share
Your worries, your dreams
Everything that we once were
Has been shredded to pieces
But both of us deny it
You won’t tell me what’s wrong
Our silences are starting to be dreadfully long
Why can’t you just tell me
The whats, whys, and whens
Of falling out of love with me
And get our breakup over with.
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Poem of the Day: Understanding Myself
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Poetry: Refusal
I wrote this poem in 2004 when I was pregnant with my second child and mad at my boyfriend (future husband) for his lack of affection and attention to me. I was obviously very upset when I wrote this poem and instead of talking to him I wrote and bottled up my anger.
You refuse to see
All the hurt you’re causing me
With your indifferent ways
It’s a miracle you haven’t yet gone astray
You refuse to see
Our son is paying the fee
He may still be in my belly
But the tears you cause me
Also affect him
You refuse to see
That one day soon you’ll lose me
If you don’t stop
Being so fucking cold.
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Poetry: Uncaring
I wrote this poem in 2004 about my husband, then boyfriend. I guess I was mad about his lack of affection. As you can see, this is a pattern for me. I bottle my emotions up until one day I explode.
If you don’t want any of this
You should just leave
I can’t take anymore
Of your uncaring words
I don’t want to keep you from
Having your fun
So just go away
You only hurt me if you stay
Go back to the way you used to be
Alone, happy, and free
And take your precious independence
You prefer it to our relationship nonsense
So stop acting like you care
To us, it wouldn’t be fair
Adieu, adios, and goodbye
To our enormous love lie
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Poesia: Cansada
Escribí este poema en 2004 cuando estaba embarazada con mi segundo hijo y enfadada con mi novio porque él no me daba un lugar en su vida.
Ya me canse de esperar
Que me des un sitio en tu vida
Ya me canse de esperar
Con tanta ansiedad
De tus ganas de actuar
Ya me canse de esperar
Que vengas a llevarme
Para empezar una vida juntos
Con mucho amor
Ya me canse de esperar
Que actúes con verdad
Alguna vez
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Poetry: Frigid
I wrote this in 2004 about my husband who I thought was being distant at the time. As you can guess, I don’t deal with rejection well at all and this is one example of many of how my mind deals with it.
Your frigid ways turn me into nothing
I don’t ask for much
but to you I ask for the world
I try so hard to make something
Out of the nothing
That has become us…
But all of it is meaningless to you
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Poem of the Day: White Jacket
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Poetry: So Many Things
I wrote this in March of 2004 when I was feeling nostalgic about Lucas.
So many things left unsaid
the day you decided to get away
So much left undone
Because I was no longer fun
So many tears I had cried
Asking myself a thousand whys?
Why did you leave?
I thought we were a perfect fit.
What was wrong with us?
That made you leave in a rush
Why did you break my heart?
by pulling us apart
And why didn’t you love me so?
It’s excruciating to let you go
Life on the BPD 