I hope you know that YOU really shouldn’t think about dating me unless you want me to write loads and loads of sad and angry breakup poetry about you once you leave. Just kidding. Maybe. LMAO Anyways, here is another salty poem about the great breakup of 2001.
I hope you know you made a mistake The day you decided to go astray You have just lost the best thing It’ll get under your skin And you will one day regret The day you decided to forget It was just supposed to be about me and you And you’ll feel like such a damn fool For I’ll never let you walk back into my life Knowing you made love to me with your disgusting lies I hope you’re miserable with her and karma comes for you and her and for me you’ll just be another nightmare
Today marks my 11 year anniversary with my husband and while me and him areno longer in a romantic relationship; I’m still celebrating it. This might seem strange to a lot of people including myself. I honestly didn’t think I would write this blog post for today. I thought I was just going to post a salty ass poem about him and I still will but why not celebrate this man that has been my ride or die for the past 18 years. While yes, I still plan on separating and divorcing this man in the near future; my heart does not hold any resentment and anger towards him like it has in the past. I love him because he is my chosen family that has and will always be there for me no matter what. I’ve told my perspectiveabout our relationship in this blog and while that is my truth; I feel that in someways I’ve painted him in a very negative light and may have been unfair to him. A lot of that was anger and resentment that I felt towards him at the time and towards myself for our relationship not working out. Now that he and I are in our third year of being co-parents and friends, I look at him in a different way and really accept him for who he is. It’s been a long journey to get here but I’mglad I’m here.
us in late 2005
As I look back and reflect on mine and his journey what strikes me is how loyal he’s been to me throughout my worst of times. He could have abandoned me when my oldest son was diagnosed with autism early in our relationship, when I got unexpectedly pregnant with our first child together, when I use to yell at him and emotionallyabuse him, after my suicide attempt in 2016 and after I askedhim to open up our marriage. But he didn’t. He stayed and was supportive in his own way and yes sometimes that came off as controlling but I think now that it was his way of being over protective. He’s accommodated to whatever crazy andimpulsive choices I’ve made and he’s stood by my side when I’ve had mental health crises. He’s not the type of man to ever run away when things get hard. In fact, he’s the type to stand by you until you get back up and after. Maybe that’s why I was in a romantic relationship with him for 15 years, he stayed no matterwhat. He also could have given up on me many times before we decided we wouldn’t continue our romantic relationship. He could also have kicked me out even after I flaunted my situationship and new boyfriends in front of his face.
our last picture in 2018 as a romantic couple, I only took this pic to post it on social media to make my boyfriend at the time jealous..lol..yeah I was fucked up
Also, I could have not lucked out more with having the best father for my children. This man is extremely devoted to our three children and loves them more than life. He makes sure that they are always very well taken care of. And co parenting with him has been an easy ride with a few mishaps.
Him with our 3 kids
As I write this, I’ve realized how incredibly lucky and fortunate I am to have him in my life. It sucks that our romantic relationship didn’t work out but what doesn’t suck is still having him in my life as my co parent and friend.
Maybe I am the girl version of Joe Goldberg after all. LMAO. Of course, this was written about the great breakup of 2001.
Maybe I am sad finding out you were such a cad Maybe I am blue Knowing you were never true Maybe I was too blind to see you weren’t really into me Maybe I was a fool To never have seen past your bull Maybe I am done With guys like you using me for fun Maybe just maybe I can get past all this Knowing one day you’ll have to pay for this
I wrote this in December 2001 after seeing my ex “S” from the “great breakup of 2001”. I saw him at mall while I was shopping. I remember not being able to breathe and having to get out of there.
forgiveness is hard
I was minding my own business when I came upon your ugly face I started right away to get restless Thinking how you had been such a fucking waste I hope you didn’t notice How I had forgotten to breathe How the memory of your kiss Came back to me That’s when I had to turn around and leave
I wrote this in January of 2002 about Lucas , my married coworker. We are finally at this chapter of my life; yeah, the one where I fell “in love” with my married coworker. I was 20, almost 21 and he was 31. This was one of the most interesting and tumultuous seasons of my love life due to the crazy circumstances surrounding it but that’s another blog post. Lol.
attraction
And so I finally meet The man of my destiny But of course There is a minor oversight He is bound to another by law But does his face light up when she enters the room? Does he desire me as I desire him? Does he care for her the way I care for him? Does he still want her as bad as I want him?
This was the second poem I wrote in December of 2001 inspired after seeing my ex “S” at the mall. I was still feeling all of those raw emotions after this breakup when I wrote this. Looking back on it, I’m glad that at the time, I took my emotions out on paper instead of finding other means of escape with alcohol or someone else.
There you were In front of me My love murderer I wanted to yell and scream and say You are the most deceitful, lying, scum king I wanted to throw at you my fist with all my might And punch those lips I had once kissed I wanted to kill you with a look that said You bastard, look at how much you took away from me Instead, I had to walk away and take back with me All I wanted to do or say
I wrote this about the great breakup of 2001. I guess part of the reason why I reacted the way I did was because my ego took a big hit. I mean, I’m already a person that has identity and self esteem issues and each breakup triggers a feeling of worthlessness inside that’s hard to get rid of.
So true
You’ll never know How much you’ve hurt me so You’ll never see The mess you’ve made of me You’ll never hear The words “ I love you dear” You’ll never ever find out That loving you was what I was about
For I am too damn proud To admit I was a fool out loud For I have too much pride To ever let you see me cry For I have too much dignity To ever let you return to me For I have too much respect To ever let you turn me into a wreck
I wish I could’ve spent more time picking up a hobby than writing all of this salty poetry about this dude. LMAO. This is of course another poem inspired by the “great breakup of 2001”.
I wish I could Forget all of you And take back the time Spent loving you I wish I could make you see All of the misery you caused me I wish I could make you feel My pain that is so extremely real I wish I could see you hurting It would be something I would take comfort in I wish I could just not care But life isn’t always fair
I wrote this in 2001 about the great breakup. Looking back at this I almost BUT I’m glad that at the time I was resourceful enough to turn to write poetry instead of doing more self destructive things. My favorite phrase from my 20 year old self is “low scum ho”. Damn, I was salty. LMAO.
Thank you for letting me know I was with some low scum ho Thank you for making me see He was just using you and me Thank you for making me realize My lover was just telling me lies Thank you for driving me into this misery I really thought he cared for only me But most of all, Thank you for taking this burden off me he didn’t deserve someone as good as me
This is yet another poem inspired by the great breakup of 2001. Most likely, I wrote this poem right after it happened as I still raw processing what happened.
Big Lie
I was stubborn and I got burned by not believing that you were deceiving there were many signs but my heart refused to resign it didn’t want to conceive of the notion that your love was a distortion now I sit in disbelief at how wrong you done me I’m so much better off I know even though it’s almost impossible to let you go so it’s forever goodbye to your twisted love that was a big lie
This was another poem written in early 2001 about Paul. All I can say is that at least I didn’t go on to write more than a few poems about this breakup. I probably wrote this during the time we were attempting a “pseudo friendship”. I remember getting nauseated and sick every time after I got off the phone with him. This really was the last poem I wrote about him.
honestly how it felt like
Upset, angry, frustrated Are some of the things I feel When I come in contact with Your miserable self
Depressed, miserable, pessimistic is what I’ve become You walked away
Happy, gleaming, glowing is what you are your miserable piece of scum
It’s unfair,unjust, not right That fate led me to someone Who would cause me so much raw pain
This was another poem about Paul. The first guy that would break my heart via email. I still don’t understand what was so hard about picking up the phone. Then, again, I might be a hypocrite saying that. Lol.
Where is the lie tho?
I need to be alone right now was your excuse Never your intention to hurt me Was what you said I’m still in love with her was what you meant Meaningless piece of ass was what I meant to you
So I really needed therapy then. Hahaha. This is another salty poem from the great breakup of 2001.This poem is obviously directed at “S” ex-wife who let me know he was cheating on me. Thinking back on it now, I was pretty cruel to the poor girl on the phone. Any anger I had felt should been directed at him and not her. She was in the same situation I was in.
And that dynamite exploded
So you got my man Thank you for getting him off my hands So you think he loves you It’s just a line to fuck you So you think I still want him I could care less about such a sorry thing So you think you are meant to be You are blind too, I see So you think he’s the real deal He doesn’t know what it’s like to feel So you think you’re lucky You got yourself another false story So you think I’m saying this because I’m super pissed Nah, I’m saying this cause you’re another girl on his growing list
I wrote this in 2001 about my ex Paul after he broke up with me via email after a couple of months dating. This is the last of the poems about Paul. Here is my blog post about my story with him:
Life on the BPD 