Perdida en frustracion y desesperacion, no se que voy a hacer- Por fin, estaba tomando pasos para un futuro mejor pero de nuevo me encuentro con otro obstáculo por mi culpa porque qué diablos no mire bien antes de salir en la calle y en un santo amén perdi mi independencia
“This is your time” the moon goddess whispers to me in a dream she puts her hand on my shoulder and a jolt of magic spread throughout my body I stumble and almost fall- but catch myself in time to stand up-and feel my power rise within I am invincible, I am empowered, I am ready to fulfill my potential and claim my success
Quiero lo mejor para ti-porque te lo mereces, porque tu no pediste ser parte de este mundo pero la sigo regando con mis decisiones impulsivas con mis estupideces y no se como voy a salir de esta última atrocidad cometida que afectará el futuro de los dos
me tenías como un titere siempre arrastrándome de acuerdo a lo que tu querías, a lo que tu necesitabas nunca preguntándome o pensando en lo que necesitaba y aun así en un santo amén cortaste nuestro cuento de amor porque aunque yo deje que me me jales a tu antojo todavía no fui suficiente para ti y perdiste interés en mi
todos nos envidian y me tiran indirectas y insultos porque una generación nos separa, porque dicen que no soy suficiente para ti pero ellos no entienden que has sido el primero en tratarme como un princesa, el primero en amarme de verdad
walking along Kailua Beach-remembering the young and impulsive girl I once was always jumping without looking, always falling in love without thinking until one day, it all caught up with me and I was ostracized and had to leave and 4 years later I’m back to the place that brought me so much trauma and chaos and while I could dwell on my past wrongs and misdeeds today I’m choosing to give grace and forgiveness to my younger self who didn’t know any better, who was still discovering who she was
I no longer believe in always and forever because everyone I’ve loved has always left Or I’ve stopped loving them always and forever is a fairytale programmed into me when I was a young girl It made me believe in the impossible dreams of true love and soul mates the only thing love has ever brought me has been anger, sorrow, and self destruction so my dreams of always and forever have burned to ashes I bury in my poetry
me tienes en la esquina de confusión y desilusión como un animal tratando de entenderte, siempre persiguiendote, Viviendo de los trozos de atención y afección que me tiras cuando te da la gana
The wild elephant visits me and threatens my sanity and I can’t breathe- Waves of trauma hit and overwhelmed my mind and body It’s time for fight or flight and I choose flight- A few minutes in the bathroom when I count my breaths and calm my inner child who is screaming internally because she feels unsafe, helpless, and scared And middle age me quells her-puts on a blanket of strength and resilience Tells her, it will be okay and she’s safe-and I’ll protect her- And within minutes I’m back to my normal self- go back to work and take out any remnants of my panic driven energy on the product I have left to stock
Eliza, eliza, eliza what have you done? Entering a beauty content you have no business entering While you’re beautiful ,confident and powerful- Beauty contests aren’t for you when european beauty standards rule society it’s not that you’re less than them It’s just that your type of beauty is only meant to be fetishized to be fantasized about your beauty is a temporary place for men your beauty can’t keep a man, only excite men So while I’ll share the link and every now and then remind people to vote for you Remember your worth is not wrapped up in your beauty Because you’re more than your good looks You’re everything Kind, loyal, intelligent, witty, sexy, everything a man can dream of A woman a man can really love and be loyal to You just haven’t met him yet Trust is the process-trust in God’s divine timing