saliva drips from my month as a gentle desire overtakes me tacos de carne asada with onions and cilantro in front of me he knew exactly how to start melting the jaded and bitter bitch in me he knew how to lure out the romantic in me whoβs terrified to start anew and while to some it may seem like a simple gesture he knew that to me it meant everything
I never belonged to you or him I belong to the world, the universe and God I belong to myself, to my ancestors I belong to my words for better or worse I belong to poetry and prose
I keep trying to write my next chapter of love and find my next ex but this time itβs difficult and tricky since Iβm not desperate, Iβm not crazy and I have standards and I donβt automatically swipe right on 10 out of 10 face card, I really observe where they stand on important issues like will they make the main and only romantic protagonist in their life? will they fetichize me like Iβm some cute, sexy, and exotic little thing? are they the kind of person to cheer if anyone in my family gets deported so many things to ponder about as I try to find my next ex perhaps, Iβm overthinking this and should try to not be so picky then again, I know how quickly the romantic in me cling to someone the minute I feel chemistry, the minute they feel like home to me only for me to break apart catastrophically when it all comes crashing down nah, I canβt let that happen ever again so this time around, itβs best to be strategic and think logically to myself rule with my head instead of my heart
Sharks from the screen come alive and devour my heart i lose all sense of time and place who am i? where am i? Is this a nightmare? everything become nonsense in between of another before and AFTER!
horace and betty flaunt 77 years of matrimony on the front page of the local newspaper and Iβm both awestruck and jealous at their achievement because I couldnβt even get past year 11 of my marriage because now I canβt even get past a talking stage on any of the dating apps because I canβt imagine the kind of saintly patience, understanding and loyalty required for that kind of commitment
horace and betty flaunt 77 years of matrimony on the front page of the local newspaper and I wonder the fuck they did it what was the magic key to unlock both their doors to a lifetime of shared love,respect and vulnerability
Downloaded hinge to become unhinged the fountain of inspiration was waning and I needed a dose of new character energy even if some of those characters are icky and shady even if some of those characters annoy me I canβt keep writing about the same old repetitive stories reheating old trauma for the purpose of making art after a while, it gets exhausting after a while, it makes no sense since Iβve forgiven them all and honestly, I canβt do another 4 years of Trump Celibate and devoid of any romantic energy
my teenager gives my dating advice, at 13, he thinks he knows everything after watching an unhealthy amount of romantic animes and getting his first girlfriend says romance should be a slow burn donβt hold hands until the twentieth date and donβt think about the benefits of the men Iβm dating Concentrate on what my heart is feeling and I donβt know if I should be offended or impressed but then again at 44, I am the one divorced with a trail of several trainwrecks relationships left behind maybe I should take his words of wisdom seriously
mami didnβt know the door she opened when she gave me Becquer”s Rhyme XXX thought I would just take solace in the spanish poets words about heartbreak and move on mami had no idea how that poem was a gateway to inspiration for me to write my first poem at 15 and keep writing them 30 years later
Hope lies in the next minute, the next hour, the next day,the next week Hope makes us believe there is something to look forward to even in our darkest hour Hope gives us the strength to continue on when we donβt want to
tower records at 14, the beginning of my double life the one where I went strange boys and smoked cigarette with them the beginning of a mental illness I wouldnβt get diagnosed with almost 30 years later
My heart blooms like a flower in the spring taking in the beauty of everything Iβm no longer so angry and feel a freedom to just be I take things in stride and no longer feel the need to fight Is this what healing looks like?
I am a witch and sometimes a bitch if youβre lucky Youβll see the sweet side of me where I’m your real life magical wet dream come true If youβre unlucky, youβll meet the BPD me the worst bitch youβll regret meeting in your entire life because if you treat me badly, Iβll make sure youβre laugh at when I read a poem about you at open mic
When I open my eyes,I whine and grunt Another day where I whine,whine, whine Working to live? Or living to work? I canβt remember which is better Living is really just guesswork Maybe today I wonβt feel so much anger Perhaps I should find hope in this new day Instead of living in doom and gloom Maybe the darkness will stay away Or Iβll cry at work in the bathroom again