poetry: attention

Aqui esta la version en Espanol:

Poesia: La Misma Historia

I’d rather be berated and hated
than ignored and treated with indifference
call me a lunatic, call me a bitch
call me the worst mistake of your life
JUST CALL ME ANYTHING!
Then I’ll know I won
because I’ve imprinted on your memory

poetry: so jealous

aquΓ­ esta la versiΓ³n en espaΓ±ol:

PoesΓ­a: DecepciΓ³n

nothing ever happens to my exes after they leave-
they don’t blink, they don’t flinch, they don’t need therapy
and I’m so incredibly jealous of that!
They’re carefree and without any feelings-
Absconding without blame or any responsibility
While I’m left in a spiral of shame and regret
and many times losing my sanity
How many more mental breakdowns will I have before accepting=
love is always a dangerous game for me-
no matter how casual and detached I try to be
my nature will always be to give, give, give
Until I lose parts of my identity
Maybe this is how I keep attracting narcissists?

Poetry: Halfway through 41

I wrote this poem in August of 2022.

Halfway through 41, I am truly alone
no potential love candidates
and sometimes the loneliness threatens to kill my soul-
But I know better than to suffer through another deception
so I process all of my feelings through poetry
Hoping it’s enough to keep the romantic in me
from making another mistake

poetry: like clockwork

aqui esta la version en espanol:

Poesia: Falsa Esperanza

you were my hope in love restored
everything I had dreamed of
everything I had wished for
and it was nice for a while-
getting lost in our love
thinking it was safe,
thinking it could be my permanent sanctuary
until one day like clockwork
you changed your mind and decided I wasn’t enough
and I was left wondering β€œwhat the fuck is wrong with me?”

Poetry: 5 AM

I wrote this poem in August of 2022.

At 5 am, I woke up and wrote a 4 page poem
about how I wasn’t enough and proceeded to crash my car
and my therapist asked if I wanted to die-
And I was like β€œnah, I just couldn’t reign my impulsivity in”
at least this time I got control of the car and didn’t fuck
anyone else up

Poetry: Default

I wrote this poem in August of 2022.

My default setting must be sad
because when a wave of happiness comes
all I can feel is anxiety
a stabbing in my gut that makes me nauseous
maybe I’m still getting used to this new feeling
of joy and excitement in my life
Maybe I don’t know how to deal with
finally being healthy and happy
maybe I’m just used to my constant state of misery

Salma and Sylvia

Daily writing prompt
How would you describe yourself to someone?

sometimes I am Salma,
Sexy, alluring, playful
and a world of fun

Sometimes I am Sylvia
Angry, frustrated, contemplative
and fascinated with death

It depends on who I’m with
and which woman they inspire me to be
I want to find someone I can be both with
A man who loves both the Salma and Sylvia in me

poetry: distraction

Aqui esta la version en espanol:

Poesia: Adios

I keep my screams and cries inside for the sake of my pride
I’ll pretend I’m happy and fine
even as waves of infinite grief wash over me
and I’m drenched in humiliation and shame
for allowing myself to become the pawn in a game
played by another guy who’s only looking for a temporary distraction

Poetry: Temporary Destination

Aqui esta la version en Espanol:

Poesia: Algo Pasajero

I’m more than a temporary destination for men to lay their love in
I will no longer lay down and play princess
and adjust and accommodate to their egos and needs
when they can never make me a priority
when they can never acknowledge my humanity
from now I won’t allow anyone near me
unless they show themselves worthy of my time and energy

Poetry: Lesson

I wrote this poem in July of 2022.

love is in nature

I used to have a tunnel vision of love
thought it could only be felt with someone
but I was wrong
love is in the trees
love is in the ocean
love is in the earth
and love is in myself
my higher power taught me this
and it’s a lesson I’ll forever cherish

poetry:magic

Aqui esta la version en espaΓ±ol:

Poesia: PodrΓ­a Ser

I’m not the woman of your dreams or the woman you’ll worship as a deity
or the woman who accommodates and bends according to your needs
but I’m the woman who’ll haunt you with the β€œwhat ifs”,
I’m the woman who’ll fuel your creativity,
I’m the woman who’ll make you believe magics exists

poesΓ­a: no debΓ­

here is a link to the English version of this poem:

Poetry: Dead to ME

no debΓ­ creer en tus promesas
pero querΓ­a darte una una oportunidad nueva
para cambiar tu cuento de cobarde al hΓ©roe
pero de nuevo me decepcionaste
esto me pasΓ³ por ser una terca, una romΓ‘ntica
y pensar que las personas pueden cambiar

Poetry: Insecure

Aqui esta la version en espaΓ±ol :

Poesia: Demaciado Sencilla

you told me I’m not wife material
so you dropped me like I was nothing
but not before you took me to your bed a few times
but not before filling my head with the illusion
that you wanted a future with me-
Are you sick in the head?
Is this how you always operate?
Finding an insecure girl to get your primal needs met
and later on dropping them like a bad habit

Poetry: The Real ME

I wrote this poem in July of 2022.

the real me…

The emotional scars are starting to fade
As I’m starting a new phase
A phase full of love and laughter
A phase full of introspection and humility
and while I’m alone as I start this phase
I’m happier and healthier
I’ve taken off all of my masks
I’ve discarded my need to be loved and accepted
This is my era
One where I finally allow myself
To let others see the real me

Poetry: Rewriting my story

I wrote this poem in July of 2022.

I was trapped in a mental cage of misery
I didn’t know how to rewrite my story
and while poetry helped me
it was with grief and therapy I finally felt free
I learned to let go of old resentments and grudges
and healed old emotional bruises
and while I still have minor annoyances
my anger and angst no longer control me