I wrote this poem in April of 2022.
Thorny long stemmed burgundy red roses remind me of how I’m loved
The beauty of the roses is how men admire me and fall for me
the burgundy red reminds me of how my heart bleeds after they leave me
and the sharp thorns stab my lungs as rejection and devastation sets in
I wrote this poem in april of 2023.
a red bird appeared to me in a dream
it carried the spirit of an ancestor I had never known
he told me to not get too comfortable in my current life
while it’s been a good life and I keep thriving
and making my dreams come true
I have even more room for improvement
my purpose is bigger than I’ve ever dreamed of
and through my storytelling
I will not just heal myself but help others
find their own path in their hero’s journey
I wrote this poem in april of 2023.
I almost drowned in a whirlpool of shame today because I made a mistake
because I’m an imperfect human
but I breathe in deeply self compassion and grace
and accept this is a small blunder in my life
and it shouldn’t take up too much space in my mind
And I needed to be a friend to myself
Understand I won’t always be flawless-
Afterall I’m only mortal
I wrote this poem in April of 2022.
Praying for peace
At times, when calm evades
Trying to always be better
Regardless of what others think
In the best shape of her life
Cause of her routined exercise
In the best moment of her life
And no one can stop her
I wrote this poem in March of 2023.
Finally comfortable in my skin
I’m no longer afraid to show off my majestic beauty
my curves comes one of the seven wonders of the world
and my face is a mosaic of my colonizer and indigenous ancestry
and now I grace the world with my beauty
posting endless selfies in various poses
some people may find it narcissistic
but if you possessed my goddess beauty
would you try to hide it?
I wrote this poem in March of 2023.
My story is important to share, it’s important to write down
but I don’t want to do it from a place of anger, revenge, or ego
It’s strange to say this because for the past 5 years
Anger has been my major inspiration and motivation
to feed the narrative of how everyone has been a villain
and I’ve been a victim
It gave me a sense of martyrdom that allowed me
to find peace for a while
acting like everyone is a problem
While I just flounder around being wronged
And while I have so much compassion and love for this version of me
It’s not who I want to continue to be
It’s not how I want to be perceived
because I’m more than being angry and vindictive
I’m also kindness, goodness, empathy, and love
And when I share my story-I need to remember these things
I wrote this poem in March of 2023.
lately I try to be a bigger person but last night was different
running into you when I’m at my hottest,
when I embody the picture of an Incan goddess
felt like sweet revenge,
it felt like karma served to someone who made me feel small
it felt like the universe smiled on me showing me once again
how I am winning and that anyone who’s fucked with me
will get what’s coming for them
and while I did feel sad for you
because of everything you went through
I still felt like a queen, a goddess with confidence
oozing from me
compared to you who will never fit into the new me
I wrote this poem in March of 2023.
On days like today, I feel too wild, too untamed
to be loved, to be handled by anyone
I feel like too much and I won’t find anyone who’s enough
and I wonder if I’ll really be alone forever
because right now that’s what my future looks like
and it’s not me trying to diss any potential love candidates
it’s me acknowledging how much of an earthquake,
a hurricane, a tsunami I can be
and even though I’ve done the work to tame my inner demons
It still feels like there is still so much work left to do
before I feel confident enough to invite anyone else into my chaos
I wrote this poem in March of 2023. I guess I was angry that day. Lol.
I’m still salty about how you quarantined assholes
treated us essential workers
looking down on us, treating us like the plague
making judgy statuses about we were all subpar
I hope Karma got to some of you
and you didn’t just get COVID one time
but you got it three or four times
I hope y’all got a lifetime of insomnia
and cholesterol problems you have to take pills for the rest of your pathetic lives
I hope y’all got a guilty conscience and life fucked you over and over again
I wrote this poem in March of 2023.
Sometimes I’m like fuck this healing journey
can I just go back to the woman I used to be
the woman who invited and welcome chaos in
the woman who needed a man to make her feel complete
the woman who bought into society’s conditioning about who she should be
can I just be her for a day or two
To get some perspective as to why this journey is so important to me
I wrote this poem in March of 2022.
He came into my life on a cold february night-
He decided to make a dramatic entrance
on my 24th birthday
He didn’t mean to steal my thunder as he tried
to make his entrance-a month beforehand
But fortunately the doctors stopped
his almost too sudden arrival
But that cold February night-
was the right time for him
I wanted to go the natural route
but he had other plans with the horrible pain he caused
EPIDURAL PLEASE-LIKE RIGHT NOW
OR I DON’T KNOW HOW I’M GETTING
THIS CHILD OUT
Within minutes he was out and once again
I was in love but this time with the life I created
I wrote this poem in February of 2023.
am I reading too much into the attention and energy you’re giving me
the casual messages, the comments on my posts
the nervous vibe and the hug you gave me the first time we met
It felt like chemistry
Am I even your type?
Or is this the beginning of beautiful friendship
One that will last, one that will be healthy
Without the complications and expectations
that lust or love brings
I wrote this poem in February of 2020.
Eating away my emotions with junk food and sugar
is healthier than meth and taking pills to sleep forever
Each bite I take and swallow keeps me alive
and further from a sweet death that tempts me
Food becomes the driving force behind my mediocre existence
until I can find a new obsession
Life on the BPD 