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Poesía: Navidad

Escribí este poema en Diciembre del 2021.

yo en 1987

La navidad se escucha con los parchis
cantando navidad, navidad
navidad se ve como el árbol lleno de muchos adornos
coleccionados hace más de 30 años
el nacimiento cusqueño con las estatuas
de la virgen, josé y el bebe jesús cristo
que tienen más de 33 años
navidad se saborea con un polla peruano sazonado
con especies únicas
con un chocolate y panettone siempre en la mesa
navidad se siente con la felicidad pasando tiempo
con tus seres más queridos
que te llenan con amor y calor familiar
la navidad se huele en el perfume imari de Mami
La navidad siempre será una de las tradiciones
más bonitas e amorosas en mi familia

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December Poetry Challenge: A Recipe For Future Memories

This was my response to prompt #7:Your Favorite Recipe

me and my boys on thanksgiving

4 cups of milk, two sticks of cinnamon
2 chocolate bars from Cuzco,
a unhealthy and gluttonous amount of sugar
I“ll bring it all to a boil with all the love in my heart
to make Peruvian hot chocolate for my boys

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Poetry: I Was Never the Marrying Kind

I wrote this in December of 2021.

I’m grateful for every past version of myself …

I was never the marrying kind
Don’t know why I forced myself into that line
Maybe because of society’s expectations
I made marriage my destination
But it wasn’t really who I ever was
Forever is not meant to be in my book of love
But still I tried for seven years
And by year 7, I ran into my biggest fear
I felt trapped in a cage of my own making
Happiness, contentment, and authenticity I was faking
But it was never truly me
Living this suburban reality
And one day I wanted to sleep forever
My mind collapsed from society’s pressure
to continue this facade of being the perfect wife
With my perfectly imperfect life
My authenticity I had to put aside
I’m a wife and mother of three
There’s no such thing as being free
But these were the lies I told myself
The critic in me I learned to quell
I learned I could be a mother but not a wife
My husband took our relationship’s demise in stride
There would no more anniversaries
We were done with self imposed forgeries
And a new chapter started with us
One full of laughter, friendship and familial love

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Poetry: Tell ME

Aqui esta en enlace para la version en Espanol:

https://lifeonthebpd.com/2021/11/22/poesia-dime/

Why did you break our romantic ties?
What did she have to make you leave me suddenly?
Why do I keep repeating the same stupid story,
of finding myself the woman used and scorned?
I’m fucking exhausted with rage
always making the same mistake over and over again
giving all of my myself to another confused man
who leaves me when I’m no longer easy

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Happy Birthday Taylor: A Taylor Swift Playlist

In honor of Taylor Swift’s Birthday, I decided to share my favorite Taylor Swift songs! I didn’t become a Swiftie until last winter when Red (Taylor’s Version) came out. Maybe it was because it was such an emotional time for me but I cried when I watched the “All Too Well” video the first time and the second time when I made my three kids watch the video with me. My youngest son unwittingly knows the lyrics to “Anti-Hero” and “Karma” because some days, I blast Swift from Alexa and my record player. I don’t think you get the full Swiftie experience unless you listen to her on vinyl. Also, in November, I spontaneously found myself at a Taylor Swift Dance Party and it was beyond amazing. I’ve included a short clip of it at the bottom. Anyways, this playlist includes what I consider the best of her work and music that’s gotten me through some of my toughest times or has uplifted me in some way. I hope y’all enjoy it:

the day that Red(Taylor’s Version) came out

Anti-Hero
Blank Space
Begin Again
All Too Well (The 10 Minute Version)
Karma
Enchanted
My Tears Ricochet
Death By a Thousand Cuts
Dress
Vigilante Shit
Right Where You Left Me
Delicate
Better Than Revenge
The Lakes
Afterglow
The 1
Long Story Short
Mastermind
Closure
Maroon
The Way I Loved You
This Love
Call It What You Want
Champagne Problems
I Bet You Think About Me
Hoax
Midnight Rain
Back to December
Clean
Mad Woman
This Is Why We Can’t Have Nice Things
Style
Bejeweled

Below is a link to my Taylor Swift spotify playlist for your listening pleasure:

Below is a short video I made of the Taylor Swift Party I went to in November, it was so much fun! I love how I’m just exuding happiness and joy in this video, it’s a complete turnaround from who I was last year:

I never said I was a singer but I was tipsy and having the time of my life…lol

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December Poetry Challenge: De-cluttering

This is my response to prompt #16: Your favorite household chore

it’s always your responsibility

Springtime is here, it’s my favorite time of the year
I blast out music from Alexa and start de-cluttering
Anais Nin books I’ll never read go into the donation box
her life no longer inspires me
Dresses and outfits I wore to my trauma
are packed in a suitcase destined for Lima
Dozens of therapy sheets are recycled
I finally found calm and serenity
Springtime is here and it’s to get rid of everything
that no longer fits this new version of me

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Poetry: Patience

I wrote this in December of 2021.

always reinvent yourself

Patience eludes me
I want to run and jump
to the next chapter of my life
the chapter where I’m the victor
and not the victim
the chapter where I’m a winner
and not a failure
but I need to appreciate the journey
and accept that the bumps along the way
Help me savor the next chapter
full of victories and maybe even love
Patience is a necessary virtue
for the growth and progress
necessary for the next chapter

Posted on by pattytacuri · 1 Comment

Poetry: Forgotten Anniversary

I wrote this in December 2018 when my husband forgot our 8 year anniversary. I guess I was a little salty and kind of still processing the breakup of our marriage.

December 9, 2010

He forgot our 8 year anniversary
I didn’t remind him because it didn’t really matter.
Hopefully, this time next year, we will be divorced.
There was no use in feeling sad or spilling tears
Over something that would end soon.
There was no use in feeling devastated over
Something that never should have happened.
Vows that should never have been taken.
Promises of love that were doomed from the beginning.
Empty words that were never believed in.
8 years of marriage; an institution we thought
would bind us for eternal life.
So that maybe the sting of resentment and neglect
wouldn’t break us apart.
He forgot our 8 year anniversary
Just like he forgot all of his promises to
“Try harder” or “to change”
So I wouldn’t leave.
He forgot our 8 year anniversary.
And it’s fine.
You don’t celebrate something
That is already dead.

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December Poetry Challenge: Karma

This was my response to prompt #19: One thing you’d like to see

Quote from the movie “Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind”

I try to write about something positive I want to see
but today, I don’t have it in me
instead, I want to blast out my rage in verse
I try to change this narrative, but after many attempts, I fail
so today I’m going to accept how sometimes I’m a petty bitch
I can’t always be the bigger person
there’s some people I’ll never forgive
And when I think of them, petty thoughts come up
I hope Karma gets them and they suffer like I did

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Poetry: Forgotten Magic

I wrote this in December of 2021.

me on my run in December of 2021

There is a certain magic in nature I forget about
Feeling the wind in your face running
while listening to my favorite song
It reminds me what a gift it is to be alive

Observing the miniature toad in the creek that hasn’t
been washed away by the many harsh elements around it;
It gives me hope I too can survive the really hard times,

Smelling the rain before a storm,there will be a rainbow after it
that is how life is, there are better times after the worst of times

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Poesia: Chingona Bilingue

Here is a link to the English Version of this poem:

https://lifeonthebpd.com/2022/10/31/happy-halloween-whats-scarier-than-a-regular-bitch/

Cometiste un gran error
que me rompió en mil pedazos
antes estaba llena de ternura
ahora busco venganza
mis palabras se convertirán
en espadas aguda de furia
Gritando como tus mentiras
jodieron mi mente y mi vida
Me dices que debería olvidarlo todo
Cariño, debes acostumbrarte
tu y esa rompieron mi cordura
ahora deben enfrentar las consecuencias
Estuviste mal en traicionar a una chingona bilingüe
Te matare en español y en inglés

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Poetry: My Book of Love and Lust

Para la version en Espanol, haga clic en este enlace:

https://lifeonthebpd.com/2021/11/10/poesia-yo-pense/

I thought nothing could ruin our love

now everything we once were is lost

because once again I was wrong, wrong, wrong

I wasn’t aware of your secret lust filled missions

you’re another confused boy

and to you I was another toy

You were another tourist

in my book of love and lust

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Poetry: Writer Identidad

I wrote this in 2008 in my creative writing class. I actually hated that class because I didn’t fit in. It’s a long story for a blog post at a later time.

 

I don’t want to be
a style ,a genre
a multicultural read
with scattered Spanish
in my text
that is interpreted
as Chica or Latina lit
-NO!-
I refuse to be a mere category
Or a trend or a fad
When there is a much bigger message
Than the stereotypes
people want to imply

 

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Poetry: Darkness

Para la versión en español de este poema, haga clic en este enlace:

Poesia: La Oscuridad

You left me in an eternal darkness
Without any compassion, without any humanity
You caused me an infinite pain
with your malicious and false ways
You left me in a world of insecurity
How can I trust ever again?
But I promise you thing
you’ll remember me
After our painful parting
You had it all with me
And now there’s no way
To recover my love
With a unique and ardent warmth

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Poetry: The Elephant

I wrote this in 2017 during my great depression.

me around the time I wrote this poem.

The sun is shining 

Everything is green and bright

And yet winter feels eternal 

In my heart

The blackness that is my sadness

Seems to seep and ooze everywhere 

Inside of me 

Is this what true loneliness feels like?

Will I ever get rid of what feels like

  my forever depression?

Or do I just learn to live

 with the elephant that 

  lives on my chest?

That I try desperate not to awake

Writing, exercise, friends, tv-

Everything to keep it calm

But no matter what

The elephant always seems 

   To wake up