Posted on by pattytacuri

poetry: my season of healing

I wrote this poem in November of 2022.

this is how healing looks like-me and my notebook against the world

healing is chaos and calm intertwined with diving timing
because after almost falling of the cliff of insanity
and wanting to end it all
a light flickered inside of me to push through-
that light was sometimes my anger, therapy, poetry
or my friends encouraging me to to move forward
to continue on my path of self discovery
and a year later-
I no longer care about why someone’s love wavered
or why someone treated me like shit
all i care about is vibrating to the version
of my highest and healthiest self
I care about intentionally setting fire to the path
of personal and professional success

Posted on by pattytacuri

poetry: hope for the future

I wrote this poem in November of 2022.

sometimes it works though

for a long time I had given up on love-
thinking why should I even try
If I screw it up each and every time
but lately I feel myself lighter, happier-
and full of hope
that even after my disastrous love history
That’s still a world of romance left to experience and explore
There’s still more muses to write poetry about-
my love story didn’t end with an electronic pink slip
or being blocked from my whatevership
my love story will start over again
with someone who’s brave and strong enough to handle me-
and can’t imagine his life without me

Posted on by pattytacuri

poetry: breakfast

I wrote this poem in November of 2022.

still haven’t found the one to have this heartwarming scene with…oh well

I make breakfast for me and my lover as he looks at me
he’s surprised i know how to cook
I’ve deceived him, lied that I didn’t know my way around the kitchen
I didn’t want to ruin my bad girl image
but for him I’ll uncover my domestic side, my feminine side
the side that wants to take care of him

Posted on by pattytacuri

poetry: no place like home

I wrote this poem in November of 2022.

melodramatic Peruvian Energy..jajaja

my final step in returning to myself was returning to my homeland
once I finally found my stable sense of identity I had desperately searched for
since I could remember-
I felt like Alice in Wonderland
my eyes wide open, my mouth opened in awe-
taking in the glorious sights and sounds
of my birthplace
the 32 years away from it didn’t matter
the ocean, the mountains, the city welcomed me back
Reminding me it had always been there for me to come back to
and the powerful and profound emotions I felt in standing on the ground
that saw my birth and early childhood
made me understand there really is no place like home

Posted on by pattytacuri · 1 Comment

poesía: desesperación

here’s the english version of this poem:

Poetry: My Happy Place

anhelo los días de mi juventud
cuando no tenía preocupaciones y responsabilidades
cuando tenía la libertad de hacer lo que quería con mi dia
cuando no conocía la oscuridad y el vacío que me consume
y me llena de frustracion y desesperacion

Posted on by pattytacuri

poetry: slow down

I wrote this poem in November of 2022.

my soul commands me to slow down and listen in silence to what I need
It tells me to not suppress anything-even it looks angry
another mean and petty poem appears
it’s okay, it’s shadow self needing to be seen
it’s a part of my identity that doesn’t define me
my soul tells me I’m not worst or best moments
I’m more complicated than that
I’m a woman full of trauma search for the calm in the chaos
that is her life

Posted on by pattytacuri · 1 Comment

poetry: staying sober

I wrote this poem in November of 2022.

fucking facts

staying sober from a lover is not easy for a love addict like me
it’s crying in bed wishing I was dead
it’s loneliness, making me crumble in a ball on the floor
making me feel unloved
and even though I have the cure with a text
to someone who’d put me out of my misery
I’d rather suffer for a while
even if it is a hell of a withdrawal
because if I’m ever going to have a healthy relationship
I need to be comfortable first with solitude
and the much needed introspection and healing it brings

Posted on by pattytacuri · 3 Comments

poetry: another day

Aqui esta la version en espanol:

Poesia: Solo y Agotado

another illegal dies under suspicious circumstances and no one cares
or mourns him,
some even comment on how he should have stayed in his country-
and it’s hard to understand the inhumanity, the hateful rhetoric
Is his life worth less because of his ethnicity and immigration status?

Posted on by pattytacuri

poetry: chaos 2019

I wrote this poem in november of 2022.

me in 2019

the chaos within won’t let me sleep, won’t let me be-
I worry and worry and worry
about my kids, my bills, my productivity
and I fall into the purgatory of what could have beens
and of my many lost dreams
and disappointment and depression covers me
There was so much I wanted to be
I am the opposite of the American Dream
a woman dependent on her husband
a woman stuck in the depths of her insecurities
and anxiety
who longs to escape from this self imposed
stagnant mediocre reality

Posted on by pattytacuri

poetry: comparisons

aqui esta la versión en español:

poesía: mi nueva felicidad

let me sabotage this new relationship by comparing him to my ex-
the one I still write poems about, the one who still visits me in my dreams
the one who wouldn’t leave his wife or other lovers for me-
my new boyfriend treats me with respect and is such a calm guy
my friends tell me this is healthy but I find it boring
I miss being last on someone’s list
I miss being treated as an afterthought
I miss the inner chaos and conflict that came from the uncertainty
of not knowing if my lover was sure of me-

Posted on by pattytacuri

poetry: psychopathy

I wrote this poem in November of 2022.

should have apologized there, Brad

five years ago, I was obsessed with a psychopath
he made me believe he wanted only me
he made himself out to be single for 10 fucking years
but one day I found out through his dad’s obituary he was married
and I severed our connection without any remorse or apologies from him
he claimed he didn’t do anything wrong, he was just a private person
that day I received my honorary degree in psychopathy

Posted on by pattytacuri

poesía: mi nueva felicidad

escribí este poema en 2004 cuando estaba confundida.

Estoy con alguien
que me trata bien
Pero te extraño, te extraño, te extraño
Tú cara, tú voz, tú olor
me persiguen cuando duermo
Y me levanto sintiéndome infiel
Soñando contigo otra vez
¿Cuando parara esta estupidez
que toma espacio en mi mente?
Ni es justo para mí o para el-
que no consigo olvidarte
Dicen que el tiempo cura las heridas
pero mi corazón no acepta la realidad
Que tú eres otro capítulo cerrado en mi vida
y debería concentrarme en mi nueva felicidad