no fuck you and your pedantic machismo- oh and PWM =privileged white male
I light a candle, put on music, and pay tribute to all that I will never be- it’s not like I’m denying myself possibilities or opportunities I’m just acknowledging certain realities I’ll never have the proper words, the necessary pretentious words of the upper class pedigree to be published in one of those prestigious journals or win a pulitzer prize I’ll never be seen as an equal in American because I’ll always be a foreigner and while this brings me a certain kind of grief I also celebrate how different I am I’ll never filter my words or fake eloquence or elegance to make myself digestible to those with multiple degrees Nah, I’m a mosaic masterpiece, with my bad grammar, my simple vocabulary and my powerful and emotionally charged phrases I’m not and never will be for those with sensitive ears or palettes and I’ll always take pride in that
To raise my children with empathy and respect for humanity is hard in times like these in times when everyone is selfish and individuality is praised In times when showing emotions is seen as week and there is still a stigma about seeking therapy but somehow, my firstborn got the message that money and selfishness are not everything and that finding empathy and compassion for his fellow humans is much more valuable than the idea of individualism and materialism society tries to sell him
Cry in front of me and show me your vulnerable side I won’t run away or shame you for sharing your pain I understand what it’s like to be left alone when you start to drown in your emotions and you reach for someone and that person turns you away I will never be that callous when I say you can be safe with me, I really mean it
that time I cut my bangs cause I was anxious about seeing my crush…lol…thank God for my beanie
My heart betrayed me last night it was on the same page that I need to put any hope of love on hold Until I’m free of my marital ties- Until I’m no longer suffering of any residual trauma from my last failed romantic relationship but in one night, my heart betrayed my mind And it felt euphoria and everything that comes with meeting the potential of love And while my mind tries to reign in my feelings My heart says “sorry, we’re already in too deep”
my dream job would involve writing and traveling . I can imagine myself somewhere in some foreign country drinking coffee in some cafe where I write poetry as I’m people watching as I blast music in my ear buds.
cuando me preguntan acerca de mi primer amor siempre pensaré en el aquel muchacho alto con los ojos marrones profundos fue el primero que me trato con respecto y como una princesa Nuestro cuento de amor fue casi como una película de disney fue algo mágico y bello pero algo tan bonito no puede sobrevivir en este mundo cruel lleno de realidades que se tienen que enfrentar aunque nos amábamos con una pasión hecho de fuego no fue suficiente y nuestra llama de amor se apago y nos fuimos por caminos diferentes el hizo su vida y yo la mía pero aunque han pasado más de 25 años cuando me pregunten que fue mi primer amor siempre pensaré en el
my drunk face at bad bunny dance party in January 2023
a drunk driver hits an ambulance- and there is outcry, an uproar over the craziness of it all we all judge and hate the drunk driver without compassion without looking in the mirror, without acknowledging how most of us have made alcohol a staple, a must need for celebration- a must have for everyone no matter what social class you’re in
Harness the Power of Adversity for Personal Transformation by Julia Mitchell
Imagine a life where every challenge paves the way for personal growth. In the journey of life, facing adversity isn’t just inevitable; it’s a crucial ingredient for personal development. Here, Life on the BPD reveals how encountering and overcoming obstacles can remarkably transform you.
Cultivate Resilience
When adversity knocks, resilience is your shield. It’s about bouncing back from setbacks with a stronger resolve. Every struggle you face teaches you to adapt and overcome. Through these experiences, you gain a robust mental and emotional fortitude that prepares you for future challenges, turning you into a resilient warrior in life’s battles.
Increase Self-Awareness
Adversity acts as a mirror, reflecting your deepest values and motivations. In these moments of self-reflection, you discover the essence of who you are and what truly matters to you. This heightened self-awareness often leads to significant life changes, aligning your actions more closely with your personal values and aspirations.
Sharpen Problem-Solving Skills
Challenges are the gymnasium for your problem-solving muscles. They force you to think critically and creatively, pushing you to find innovative solutions. This honing of problem-solving abilities is invaluable, equipping you with the skills to tackle future challenges more effectively and with greater confidence.
Nurture Empathy
Experiencing hardship often deepens your understanding and sensitivity towards others. This newfound empathy allows you to connect more profoundly with people, understanding their struggles and offering compassion. This connection fosters stronger, more meaningful relationships, both personally and professionally.
Rethink Life Goals
Adversity often serves as a wake-up call, prompting you to reevaluate your life’s direction. It encourages you to pursue paths that are more aligned with your values and passions, leading to a life that is not just successful but also fulfilling and meaningful. This reassessment can lead to significant changes, whether it’s a new career, a renewed focus on personal relationships, or a dedication to a long-neglected passion. It’s an opportunity to realign your life’s trajectory with your true self, ensuring that your future endeavors are not only prosperous but also deeply rewarding.
Transition Careers Smoothly
In the face of job loss or career stagnation, adversity becomes a motivator for change. Crafting a standout resume becomes your tool for transformation. Online templates and resources can guide you in showcasing your skills and experiences, aligning your professional profile with your career aspirations, and opening doors to new opportunities.
Ignite the Entrepreneurial Spirit
Adversity often serves as a catalyst for entrepreneurial ambition. In the wake of challenges, the idea of starting your own business becomes not just appealing but a viable path to reshape your future. To start a business, you should begin with these key steps: develop a business idea, create a business plan, secure financing, and develop a marketing plan. Forming a Limited Liability Company (LLC) or LLC offers numerous benefits, including limited liability protection, potential tax advantages, less paperwork compared to other business structures, and operational flexibility. Turn to Zenbusiness to form your LLC for a cost-effective and straightforward way to launch your business.
Embrace adversity as a transformative force in your life. Whether it’s in the realm of business, personal development, or relationships, challenges are not just obstacles but opportunities for profound growth and transformation. Remember, in every adversity lies the seed of an equivalent advantage. Use it to your benefit and watch as you emerge stronger, wiser, and more fulfilled.
They laid him on my breast and told me, “Meet your baby boy” and I was in shock the alien on top of me is mine? this wasn’t supposed to be part of my adolescence I’m only seventeen and some days I barely remember to brush my teeth and now I have this great responsibility and his beady and angry eyes questions as to why his comfort was disturb-he already hates the world and I think , same, kid, same
I go between contacts and glasses to fit my different personas- in my contacts I’m a pretty woman with makeup and a dress I become the kind of woman men are nervous to be around or get intimidated by In glasses I don’t care to capture the male gaze or even mine it’s when I work that second job or I’m at home it’s when I allow myself to just exist not caring about the pressure to be attractive or allow my social conditioning to take over and tell me since I’m this crazy, I need to be pretty, sexy, charming to validate my existence Lately I prefer my glasses, lately I want the freedom to just be
I remember being super excited and happy going on this bus ride because going to Oxapampa has been a dream of mine for quite some time. Oxapampa is the town my dad was born in and raised. When my dad talked about it, it always seemed picturesque and like something out of a fairy tale. I was also excited to meet my dad’s relatives (aunts and uncles) who helped raise him and the cousins who he played with. His relatives also seem to be larger than life characters who were genuine and good people according to my dad’s description of them.
my feet and legs on the most comfortable bus trip I’ve ever made
when I think about my most memorable road trip, I think of my 10 hour bus ride I made from Lima to Oxapampa when I went to Peru last spring. It was memorable in a good way. The company we booked the trip with was wonderful and me and my son were mostly comfortable. So the trip to Oxapampa meant going up into a high altitude of 5951 ft above sea level from the 528 ft above sea level altitude in Lima. We were advised to consume coca leaves before going to prevent motion sickness so we went to the pharmacy and they gave us coca leave in pill form.
the pills we took to prevent motion sickness
Our seats themselves were super comfortable and we could recline into an almost bed so we slept super comfortable. They also had screens where we could watch American movies dubbed in Spanish. One reason we were super comfortable was because we were on the upper deck of the bus which had more space for seats. Of course, we paid more for this V.I.P seating but damn , it was well worth it. Unfortunately and fortunately, it didn’t have WIFI so I just listened to my downloaded spotify playlist. There was a lot of Conan Gray and Taylor Swift I played on my way there. We went at night so we slept most of the way there but I did manage to capture some short videos of what I saw outside the video. We went through a lot of provinces and small towns. Here’s a short video of going through Pasco. This was shortly before we arrived.
going through Pasco…
I also want to mention that going on this bus ride was also kind of exhilarating because some of the roads are treacherous and narrow and sometimes we were going on terrain that was high. That meant if the driver lost control of the vehicle, we were SOL. Haha. It’s a good thing that a lot of drivers in Peru start driving between the ages of 12 and 14. There’s probably more I will write about this trip. So when we arrived, my great Aunt picked us up and we stayed at her air b&b on her property. Where we stayed had this rustic and magical vibe. I’ll probably write more about this trip that was life changing and healing in so many ways but for now, I’ll just answer the prompt for bloganuary about memorable roadtrips.
the sign for my great aunt’s air b&bthis long entrance looked like something out of fairytale…like going into a magical forest
kid krow by Conan Gray-This album was on repeat in 2023 and it either hyped me up or destroyed me -it was wonderful
music and lyrics have always given me a sense of home- it’s how I’ve grown and evolved It’s how I learned to express my emotions when I couldn’t make sense of anything it fills my soul with love and creativity it makes me feel a sense of belonging in this world that looks down on dark and tortured souls it eases off my loneliness that sometimes makes me crumble and leaves me in shambles
If I had my gluttonous way and I wasn’t counting the sodium content in fucking everything I’d devour an entire bag of chili cheese fritos in between purchase orders and writing poems I’d stress eat the fuck out of them I’d even offer some to my friends everyone needs to taste this salty and crunchy treat everyone needs to get addicted to this devilish snack that had me buying 4 bags at the time when it was on sale me and Chili cheese fritos were the most epic poem, a match made in consumerist heaven until middle age and genetics brought on high blood pressure and my addiction to chili cheese fritos had to end abruptly so for now, I’ll write silly poems about how I can’t have the one thing I once was addicted to and still crave and hope that once I get my blood pressure under control I’ll be reunited with my comfort snack and we’ll be together again as I write, as I cry as I lay on the couch binge watching some depressing show on netflix
Jealousy is a normal emotion of the human condition and shame shouldn’t be associated with it everyone feels it I used to run away from it but now I sit with it ask what it needs Sometimes it’s me projecting an insecurity or sometimes it’s a legit feeling And that’s okay too- and jealousy doesn’t have to destroy anything as long as I know how to acknowledge it and don’t allow it to consume me
when it comes down to it, my mission in life is simple, it’s to be a good person and a good mom. that means being able to sleep at night with a clear conscious at night and knowing that I have done my best that day. that means giving my children the best of me most of the time.
Life on the BPD 