This is my response to prompt #6: An important person in your life
I find God everywhere lately
in the autumn wind that blows leaves whimsically
in lyrics that evokes intense emotions in me
in the excitement I feel every morning
in my newfound peace and serenity
God is a whisper always reminding me
life is worth living if I keep trying, if I keep going
This is my response to prompt #5: Something you know something a lot
Where is my honorary degree in my BPD recovery ?
I’ve read more books than I’ve cared to-
I’ve acknowledged more toxic patterns than I wanted to-
And I’m almost an expert at DBT
But I still have days when I think it’s all bullshit
I still have times I miss the chaos in my life
so I know I still have a long way to go in this journey
and it’s needed to fulfill my potential
I need to let go of anything that caused me harm
and say goodbye to who I once was
Thanks to this recovery journey
I’m self aware, I’m full of self compassion,
I’m going to become the best version of myself
I wrote this in December of 2021.
Maybe I was too harsh with my words
Frustrated with rejection and abandonment
I was filled with anger and resentment
that needed to bleed on paper
Maybe I’ve been too much of a critic
Cutting you down with petty words and insults
Perhaps I was projecting my own insecurities
Maybe I should have taken some of the blame
of your unexpected departures
I know I’m not an easy woman to be with
often times I’m too emotional and needy
And maybe, just maybe
I forgive all of you and me
We were all trying our best to love and be loved
And sometimes even our best isn’t enough
This was my response to prompt #3: Three good things
Coffee, music, and books are what I need
to get through the dreariest of days
Coffee to wake me up from my somber mood
Music to feel every single feeling in my body
and maybe try to dance them all out
Books to calm down my most intrusive of thoughts
Coffee,music, and books are what I need
to make myself shiny again
Para la version en Espanol, haga clic en este enlace:
https://lifeonthebpd.com/2021/11/10/poesia-yo-pense/
I thought nothing could ruin our love
now everything we once were is lost
because once again I was wrong, wrong, wrong
I wasn’t aware of your secret lust filled missions
you’re another confused boy
and to you I was another toy
You were another tourist
in my book of love and lust
This was my response to prompt #3: How are you working towards your goals
Consistency and routine are staples in my life
they help me grow and thrive
I’m outgrown the chaos and adrenaline rushes
I used to find myself in-
it held me back and made me stagnant
I finally understood the importance
of a boring and quiet life
it is needed to make my dreams a reality
it is essential for my serenity and peace
This was my response to prompt: Your favorite part of the day
mornings used to bother me
and made me so grouchy
now I wake up excited every morning
about the unseen possibilities
Will it be a day full of calm and routine
where I’m inspired to write about a poem
about serenity?
Or will it be a day full of drama and chaos
that turns my poetic voice into something
resembling anger and sorrow?
mornings fill me up with the excitement
with the hidden potential of it
So for the month of December, I decided to combine two of my favorite things which are journal prompts and poetry. I found these December Journal Prompts somewhere on pinterest and decided to write a poem every day in response to them. It’s going to be a challenge for sure considering I’m still posting new content every day. It’s going to be interesting what I come up with, it might get emotional and crazy-but hey that’s my brand-lol. I wanted to share the prompts as well as well as a link to the blog they’re from.
December Journal Prompts:
1.Your favorite part of the day
2.What needs to happen this month
3.How are you working towards your goals
4.Three good things
5.Something you know a lot about
6.An important person in your life
7.Your favorite recipe
8.An event that turned out differently than planned
9.The best way to spend a cold evening
10.One thing you could not give up
11.A goal you reached
12.Something to celebrate
13.How you procrastinate
14.What did you think you’d be when you grew up
15.The best type of surprise
16.Your favorite household chore
17.The best gift you could receive
18.Music that helps you relax
19.One thing you’d like to see
20.Favorite winter traditions
21.Advice you’d give to someone else your age
22.Something all people should know
23.What’s you’d really like to do tomorrow
24.Your top priority
25.A thing your life has in excess
26.How has your life changed since last year
27.A book you want to read
28.The person you’re always happy to see
29.One thing to do
30.The time of day you prefer
31. A word to describe your past year
Below is a link to the blog “Life of Lovely” from where the prompts came from:
http://lifeoflovely.blogspot.com/2015/11/december-journal-prompts-printable.html
Para la versión en español de este poema, haga clic en este enlace:
Poesia: La Oscuridad
You left me in an eternal darkness
Without any compassion, without any humanity
You caused me an infinite pain
with your malicious and false ways
You left me in a world of insecurity
How can I trust ever again?
But I promise you thing
you’ll remember me
After our painful parting
You had it all with me
And now there’s no way
To recover my love
With a unique and ardent warmth
I wrote this in 2017 during my great depression.
The sun is shining
Everything is green and bright
And yet winter feels eternal
In my heart
The blackness that is my sadness
Seems to seep and ooze everywhere
Inside of me
Is this what true loneliness feels like?
Will I ever get rid of what feels like
my forever depression?
Or do I just learn to live
with the elephant that
lives on my chest?
That I try desperate not to awake
Writing, exercise, friends, tv-
Everything to keep it calm
But no matter what
The elephant always seems
To wake up
I wrote this in 2017 during my great depression.
I want to write about love
But instead find myself
Writing about depression and loss
Everything feels so vague and fake
I don’t know what or who’s
Real anymore
Is it existential dread
Or a midlife crises
Or a mixture of both?
Living in a world rampant
With comparisons
With the click of a button
Tears at my soul
Thanks to the ridiculous
And never ending standards
Modern society thrusts upon us.
It’s all a constant competition
About who has the best life
Have we all become society’s
Attention whores?
So I had forgotten to post this poem from the great breakup of 2001.
I guess it was fate
For you to cross that thin line
Between love and hate
You were really a waste of time
Now you’ll never know
How good you and me could’ve been
Or how much I really loved you so
But your love was only a smoke screen
I even thought we had forever
because I wanted to believe you were true
but I guess you were another whatever
and I was another one you’d screw
Now there’s nothing left to say
and it’s time to forget everything
I wrote this in 2017 during my great depression. I guess I was just annoyed and angry by society.
Simple decency is becoming extinct
Manners and politeness is rare
rudeness and sarcasm is the norm
Being kind feels outdated
in this narcissistic society
filled with superfluous and superficial people
Who bring their harsh and shallow attitudes
everywhere
There is no escape from this epidemic
of the nothingness
that tries to appear profound
It is a society that blames the victim
“ but what was she wearing?”
or
“He was hanging out with the wrong kids”
It is a society that’s prejudiced against
anyone different
“Go back to where you came from”
“You’ll never belong here”
“People will always remember
how you made them feel”,
Maya Angelou said
Unnecessary, weak, aloof, isolated alone
Is how this world makes me feel
I’m a FAILURE trying to accommodate myself
to this world full of shallow feelings
I miss the kind and real people
in this world
It’s rare to find them now
They are almost extinct
I wrote this about my oldest son after a very proud mom moment. I thought about everything he went through and processed it through this poem.
I didn’t think this day
Would come so soon
I wasn’t prepared for the
Emotions I would feel
“You were doomed to
Be another “statistic”
They said
And autism on top of that!
Good luck
Becoming a productive
Member of society
They said
“No way, will you succeed
brown autistic boy,
Son of a teenage mom”
They said
Yet here you are –
Proving the naysayers wrong
Here is where you belong
Not yet graduated from
High school but starting
Your first college classes
Tonight
Here is where you belong
Despite the obstacles,
The haters, society
Trying to fuck you over
Here is where you belong
-on the start of a journey to success
And here I am
Beaming with pride
And love for you
My beautiful brown boy
Defying everything and
Everyone that ever
Stood in your way.
Life on the BPD 