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December Poetry Challenge: On My Day Off

This was my response to prompt #30: The time of day you prefer

my sunday morning routine

Sunday mornings make me jump out of bed
ready to seize the fuck out of the day
First my overpriced coffee while I blast out
music in my ears and tune the world out
Write, write, write whatever crazy thing
has been lingering in my mind
then I drive to the only place
where I can get fresh bread
I stand in a line full of the local hipsters
for my gluttonous must have
rush back home where I write
and plot more blog content for next month
will there be another playlist?
more angry poetry about an ex
who screwed me over?
or am I changing the narrative
and finally being honest about my recovery
Sunday mornings are always an opportunity
for my creativity to come out in full force
without judgment, without apologies

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December Poetry Challenge: Self Improvement

This was my response to prompt #24: Your Top Priority

I am the ONE

I build the life of my dreams through discipline and hard work
while I appreciate everything I have at this moment
even the minor annoyances
and especially the moments of calm and silence
I’m no longer relegating myself to a side character
or a side chick or a passenger in my life
I’m writer, the master, the driver of the life I’m creating

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December Poetry Challenge: This is Your Fucking Life

This was my response to prompt #29: One thing to do

so much truth

Stop making excuses and take control over your life
no one has power over you-
stop allowing the opinions of other influence you
It’s time to stop with the bullshit and the false stories
Stop living in fear, stop living for others
this is your fucking life
the time is now to start living it authentically

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Poetry: An Act of Rebellion

I wrote this in December 2021.

once you get your wings, there’s no going back

Believing in myself feels like an act of rebellion
after years of self loathing and self destruction
I finally feel enough and complete
Is this some kind of dream?
Do I really love myself?
Do I really accept myself?
Do I really care about myself?
I do and I do and I do
I’m ready to live out my truth
I’m complicated and complex
and not terrible or a hot mess
I’ve been forever misjudged
and thought I was too much
The reality of my authenticity
Brings out a new transparency
I was never too much or not enough
or even the hardest to love
I might be a complicated puzzle to solve
But I’m always, always, worthy of love

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December Poetry Challenge: Celebration

This was my response to prompt #12: Something to celebrate

I’ll be celebrating with these two homegirls

Tonight I celebrate with friends, with champagne and music
We celebrate how far I’ve come and make a toast
to a future full of potential and promise
we laugh about all my past drama, dance to Taylor Swift and Yung Gravy
and cry with joy about everything good in my life
tonight is a celebration of the life I’ve work hard to build
tonight is a celebration of who I fought hard to become

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December Poetry Challenge: Everything Annoys the Fuck Out of Me

This was my response to prompt #17: The best gift you could receive

me annoyed with everything…lol

God grant me serenity and peace
I hate it when I’m like this
everything annoys the fuck out of me
If I have to see another post about healing or trauma
or my inner child, I’m throwing my phone out the door
it’s not anything or anyone specifically
its these horrible mood swings
They transform me into a salty bitch
who sets fire to everything and everyone
with her pen and paper
at least now I channel my anger into poetry and prose
and no longer self implode
when will serenity and peace come to me permanently
and not just come to visit me temporarily?

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December Poetry Challenge: Will I Finally Understand?

This was my response to prompt #27: A book you want to read

Quote from “The Body Keeps Score”

Will “The Body Keep Score” give me the answers I need
as to why my body still feels past trauma
and why I still have nightmares about people and places
who has caused me harm?
or how when a trauma anniversary comes up
like the day I lost my baby or the day I lost my mind
my body feels extra heavy and my fists are clenched all day
Will I finally understand my body can still feel the pain of trauma
months and even years later when something catastrophic happens to me?

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Poetry: My Body is An Altar by Angelica Flores

My Body is An Altar by Angelica Flores

I made my body an altar
Each morning I look in the mirror
and I pray
Each part of me represents
divinity
A higher power loved me enough
to give me breath
That is why I am doing the best I
can to present my body
I close my eyes and thank my
organs for functioning
I am divine and I know
I will treat myself with high
respect

Angelica Flores is a poet and storyteller. Check out her blog at : https://angelicafloreswriter.com/

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December Poetry Challenge: A Recipe For Future Memories

This was my response to prompt #7:Your Favorite Recipe

me and my boys on thanksgiving

4 cups of milk, two sticks of cinnamon
2 chocolate bars from Cuzco,
a unhealthy and gluttonous amount of sugar
I“ll bring it all to a boil with all the love in my heart
to make Peruvian hot chocolate for my boys

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Poetry: I Was Never the Marrying Kind

I wrote this in December of 2021.

I’m grateful for every past version of myself …

I was never the marrying kind
Don’t know why I forced myself into that line
Maybe because of society’s expectations
I made marriage my destination
But it wasn’t really who I ever was
Forever is not meant to be in my book of love
But still I tried for seven years
And by year 7, I ran into my biggest fear
I felt trapped in a cage of my own making
Happiness, contentment, and authenticity I was faking
But it was never truly me
Living this suburban reality
And one day I wanted to sleep forever
My mind collapsed from society’s pressure
to continue this facade of being the perfect wife
With my perfectly imperfect life
My authenticity I had to put aside
I’m a wife and mother of three
There’s no such thing as being free
But these were the lies I told myself
The critic in me I learned to quell
I learned I could be a mother but not a wife
My husband took our relationship’s demise in stride
There would no more anniversaries
We were done with self imposed forgeries
And a new chapter started with us
One full of laughter, friendship and familial love

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December Poetry Challenge: Tomorrow

This was my response to prompt #23: What’s you’d really like to do tomorrow

Kailua Beach, Hawaii-my former paradise

Tomorrow I’d like to swim for the first time in my former paradise
and after lay out in the sun in my bikini
I’ve loved feel the sand everywhere instead of tolerating
another dreary and rainy day in Georgia
My mood would improve and I would write more happy poems
Instead of writing about how I hate my existence
and everyone and everything in it

Posted on by pattytacuri · 1 Comment

Poetry: I Deserve

Apparently, here is another poem from the great breakup of 2021 that never got posted. I’ve also included the revision of it after the poem.

Standards
Solitude be like

I deserve better
than some low class player
I deserve a man who knows how to love
not some boy that’s not enough
I deserve respect
not to be treated like an object
I deserve honesty
not someone who lies to me
I deserve to be able to trust
Not some asshole who’s out for lust
I deserve to be happy
and to not drown in misery
I deserve a real man
and not an ass from jerk land

2001

Worthy of My Energy

fuck the toxic love story I keep on repeating
I refuse to be disrespected and objectified
by another man who lies to me about love
because he’s lonely and wants me in his bed
I’m no longer a temporary bandaid
for another confused man
who doesn’t know what he wants
and discards of me when I’m stop being easy
from now on any man who wants to be with me
will have to prove himself to be worthy of my energy

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December Poetry Challenge: 99.9 Percent

This is my response to prompt #15: the best kind of surprise

sometimes you have to say “fuck it”

Love surprises me with a glance, with a slight touch on my hand
And 99.9 percent of me wants to run
I don’t want to take a chance once again with my sanity
but the romantic in me say “fuck it”
maybe this will finally be a different story
one where my lover doesn’t leave

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Poetry: Tell ME

Aqui esta en enlace para la version en Espanol:

https://lifeonthebpd.com/2021/11/22/poesia-dime/

Why did you break our romantic ties?
What did she have to make you leave me suddenly?
Why do I keep repeating the same stupid story,
of finding myself the woman used and scorned?
I’m fucking exhausted with rage
always making the same mistake over and over again
giving all of my myself to another confused man
who leaves me when I’m no longer easy

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December Poetry Challenge: My Grown Up Reality

This is my response to prompt #14: What did you think you’d be when you grew up

me in November of this year right before the Taylor Swift dance party in town

When I imagined my happily ever after-
it never looked like my current reality
a mother of 3 with 2 jobs, on the brink of divorce,
with 5 mental health diagnosis
and yet, I stand here with contentment in my heart
and appreciation for the life I’m living
I may not have grown up to live the life I envisioned
but I’m still proud of who I’ve become