

What traditions have you not kept that your parents had?


What traditions have you not kept that your parents had?
I wrote this poem in August of 2022.

My default setting must be sad
because when a wave of happiness comes
all I can feel is anxiety
a stabbing in my gut that makes me nauseous
maybe Iβm still getting used to this new feeling
of joy and excitement in my life
Maybe I donβt know how to deal with
finally being healthy and happy
maybe Iβm just used to my constant state of misery
I wrote this poem in July of 2022.

I used to water my roots with the supposed love of others
their compliments, their energy made me whole
but eventually theyβd tired of being my water, my earth
my everything and leave
And I was left once again incomplete-
until one day I learned to water my roots with my tears,
my strength, my self-love
And now my growth and potential are infinite
I wrote this poem in July of 2022.

My favorite words are my sons names
names that taught me about patience
and unconditional love
names that have made me get up
when I didnβt want to
names that fill me with faith and hope
when Iβm about to lose it
names that make me want to become
a better person than I was yesterday
names I live for
names I would die for
I wrote this poem in July of 2022.

I used to have a tunnel vision of love
thought it could only be felt with someone
but I was wrong
love is in the trees
love is in the ocean
love is in the earth
and love is in myself
my higher power taught me this
and itβs a lesson Iβll forever cherish
Aqui esta la version en espaΓ±ol:
Poesia: PodrΓa Ser
Iβm not the woman of your dreams or the woman youβll worship as a deity
or the woman who accommodates and bends according to your needs
but Iβm the woman whoβll haunt you with the βwhat ifsβ,
Iβm the woman whoβll fuel your creativity,
Iβm the woman whoβll make you believe magics exists
I wrote this poem in July of 2022.

I give my pain and sorrow to God
and it lessens the heaviness in my soul
and Iβve never felt lighter
and I laugh more and feel content and gratitude
and I no longer want to die
Instead Iβm excited to live
Iβm excited about my wrinkles and every birthday
because Iβm finally enjoying the gift of life
God has bestowed on me
here is a link to the English version of this poem:
Poetry: Dead to ME
no debΓ creer en tus promesas
pero querΓa darte una una oportunidad nueva
para cambiar tu cuento de cobarde al hΓ©roe
pero de nuevo me decepcionaste
esto me pasΓ³ por ser una terca, una romΓ‘ntica
y pensar que las personas pueden cambiar
Aqui esta la version en espaΓ±ol :
Poesia: Demaciado Sencilla
you told me Iβm not wife material
so you dropped me like I was nothing
but not before you took me to your bed a few times
but not before filling my head with the illusion
that you wanted a future with me-
Are you sick in the head?
Is this how you always operate?
Finding an insecure girl to get your primal needs met
and later on dropping them like a bad habit
I wrote this poem in July of 2022.

The emotional scars are starting to fade
As Iβm starting a new phase
A phase full of love and laughter
A phase full of introspection and humility
and while Iβm alone as I start this phase
Iβm happier and healthier
Iβve taken off all of my masks
Iβve discarded my need to be loved and accepted
This is my era
One where I finally allow myself
To let others see the real me

Which activities make you lose track of time?
Here’s the English version of this poem:
Poetry: Mistake
maldigo mi existencia, deseo ser cualquier otra persona
siempre cometo el mismo error
alucinando que sexo es amor
cuando en realidad es mi obsesiΓ³n tΓ³xica
con ser deseada, y sentir que valgo algo
para otro ser humano
I wrote this poem in July of 2022.

I was trapped in a mental cage of misery
I didnβt know how to rewrite my story
and while poetry helped me
it was with grief and therapy I finally felt free
I learned to let go of old resentments and grudges
and healed old emotional bruises
and while I still have minor annoyances
my anger and angst no longer control me
I wrote this poem in July of 2022.

My disintegration looks like a tsunami that destroys me
I try to navigate the tidal waves of my emotions
and that tidal waves washes over me, and I’m overwhelmed
and my logic is short circuited, and impulsivity takes over
Oh shit I posted that
Oh fuck I bought that
Sorry, I didnβt mean that-
And I harm myself and others without malicious intent
and donβt remember how it happened
I wrote this poem in July of 2022.

If you inspire me consider it a gift
it means youβve made an impact on me
sure my words may feel angry
but thatβs just me processing
because I have the most painful mental illness
and writing angry poems is how I deal with it
if you become my muse I must have felt something for you
could be hate or love
if youβre lucky, itβs both
that means youβll be bestowed with endless poetry about you