I wrote this poem in February of 2023.

I give you the gift of my heart with everything in it
so please be careful with it
I donβt want it to be broken apart again
if you decide to leave on a whim
I wrote this poem in February of 2025.

scattered memories of you and I are tossed into the bonfire
pictures, poems, and letters never sent burn and burn
and I watch understanding this is our closure
and our chapter is finally closed
and I needed the bonfire and a final curtain call
on an early February night to put us behind
I wrote this poem in February of 2023.

this is a dangerous road Iβm traveling on
smiling at your messages
Creating a playlist inspired by you
romanticizing every interaction we have
liking every single one of your posts
Wondering if youβre safe enough
To get to know you
beyond the walls of this simple friendship
I wrote this poem in February of 2025.

my pleas for love fall on the deaf ears of the universe
I scoff and get angry with her
Wondering whatβs left to heal
whatβs left for closure
whatβs wrong with me that I need to fix in order
to attract someone to love for the crazy, creative
and complex woman that I am
I wrote this poem in February of 2023.

middle age me is not seeking revenge on all who caused me trauma
Iβm simply trying to make sense of the fuckery that happened to me
Iβm simply trying to address the unhealed trauma that still lies
within me and haunts me in my dreams
Iβm trying to process and understand that I never deserved any of it
Iβm trying to get rid of that shame and guilt Iβve carried from it
and while sometimes that looks vindictive
Iβm sorry but the only way to my journey in healing work
is through uninhibited storytelling
I wrote this poem in February of 2025.

help her find hope after becoming the worst version of herself
after getting herself entangled with men who did nothing
but hurt her
help her find grace after the fall from the altar of love
men placed her on and she turned into a monster
who resembled medusa
help her find a path to enlightenment and purpose
after she once again drowns in waves
nostalgia and grief over what could have been
I wrote this poem in February of 2023.

Iβd never say I lost time with any of my love stories-
they all taught me something about myself
They all inspired me to write poetry
and two of them help me create my three kings
even if some of my love stories left me decimated
and almost destroyed me
they were all worthy for the love I felt
the growth and progress I had
I wrote this poem in February of 2025.

next valentineβs day I want to be calm especially if Iβm still alone
I want my nervous system to be ultra regulated and not the mess
it currently is
next valentineβs day I donβt want to entertain vengeful fantasies
of getting my baseball bat to scare couples in the middle
of their romantic dinner
Next valentineβs day I donβt to keep playing the role of bitter,jaded,
and lonely bitch who allows herself to become a wreck
at the mere mention of romantic love
Next valentineβs day Iβm rewriting the script of grief stricken lonely girl
and will make it a day that will reflect on all of the love I have in my life
I wrote this poem in February of 2025.

never set out to become a feminist but somehow ended up becoming everything
opposite of what I was taught a woman should be
in my young girlβs mind
a husband and children should have made me happy
even when I observed all of the women around drown in misery
always complaining about their husbands and kids
I thought that maybe with me, itβd be different
and when I found myself in my grown up conditioned woman narrative
I almost tried to die in that reality and knew it was never for me
and for a while I searched for answers in others until I looked within
and understood, i alone am magic
I alone without a man am really enough
and the only one responsible for my happiness and to make my dreams come true
all a man ever did was drag me down and made me feel like the dirt on his shoe
or like an ornament to take out at times for his convenience
and when I realized all of this
thatβs when I became an unintentional feminist, unapologetic and unashamed
to be the woman I always wanted to be but had been too afraid to embrace
until my middle age
I wrote this poem in February of 2025.

me and my family have immigration jokes for day on end
and some of my friends think thatβs sick and awful
but its one of the only things
that helps me and my family keep our sanity
in Trumpβs American is making fun of our misery and misfortune
itβs how weβve survived generations of corrupt governments
and wannabe dictators
its how weβve passed resilience and strength to future generations
sure, we may cry at first as the life weβve worked hard for
starts falling apart and our plans for the future are shattered
because of a few megarich and corrupt maga idiots
who run our government
but right after we wipe our tears and break out in jokes
and laughter
especially now that whatβs supposed to be the land of the free
gets more and more fascist
and we swim closer and closer to nazi waters
the only thing we can do is try to find a way to smile, to laugh,
to find a bit of joy no matter how fucked up in may seem
in this dystopian clusterfuck
I wrote this poem in February of 2025.

rose gold cross ripped from her neck
handcuffs cutting into her smalls wrists
mami and papi canβt explain why
theyβre nowhere to be found
she thought officers were supposed to be good people
but they hurl insults at her and call her a criminal
and at 10 she can hardly grasped
the severity of the situation
they tell her over and over again
βweβre taking you back to where you came fromβ
and itβs beyond her compression
because her birth certificate says Illinois
because America is the only home sheβs ever known
I wrote this poem in February of 2022.

Iβm pregnant, it’s yours, I want to keep it
I start crying
βJust get rid of it you tell me
he fairytale died that day
Iβm at your apartment drunk
And you;re drunk, we fight, then we kiss
And you take me in-but then you feel guilt
And kick me out I
The fairytale died that day
Iβm at your apartment
I want to hold you and kiss you
I yearn for you
You imply I canβt be trusted
The fairytale died that day
I wrote this in February of 2021.

The winds of defiance rules my heart
I love someone I shouldnβt
Who stirs up hate and love
within me
I feel underwhelmed
by everything wonderful
in my life
The winds of defiance rule my heart
And I shouldnβt want to run
from my beautiful lover
and yet I want to
And I desire danger and intensity
even if what I really need
is peace and calm
I wrote this poem in January of 2022.

Mason like the jar was his name
being a fuckboy was his game
He tried to act wise beyond his 23 years
But he was still wet behind his ears
He thought he could deceive me
and lies and lies and lies he told me
told me he lived with a roommate
when it was really his soul mate
He wanted his ice cream and cake
but I saw through his con game
And right away I stopped our lust filled affair
My respect I needed to firmly declare
I wrote this poem in January of 2022.

Nobody knew about our sexcapade
You were a temporary escape
From the emptiness and loneliness
I felt in my suburban adolescence
Nobody knew about me and you
Until I could no longer hide
the living creature inside
Nobody knew about me and you
Until my belly grew and grew
And half of it was you
Nobody knew about our short fling
Until one day I had to sing
Iβm pregnant with a strangerβs baby
No,heβll never be the one or even a maybe