I found love and it wasnβt at a bar or an app I found it on the soil I was born on, I found it in the embrace of my homeland I found it in welcome from everyone I met and reconnected with I found it in the accent I never had I found love as the prodigal daughter of my country I hadnβt seen in 32 years
as summer wanes, and the days gets shorter and cool air welcomes me in the morning I feel a magnitude of gratitude and grief for this summer gratitude for all of the time spent with friends, for the poetry written, for all the growth that happened and grief for the vacation not taken, for the depression that paused me at various points, for the things not accomplished and as the leaves turn, I wonder about I could have if only I hadnβt struggled with mental illness
weβre not promised tomorrow, so we must make the best of our todays- creating community with our friends, reconnecting with our roots loving our children with a loud fervor weβre not promised tomorrow, so we must appreciate everything we have the legs that take us on walks and runs the creativity that flows from our minds the laughter shared with loved ones
pill popper with a vacant gaze, all of the money in the world couldnβt make her happy that big house, her gerber blonde toddler son couldnβt touch the numbness she felt and so she popped xanax and oxycontin like candy didnβt care who she was hurting all she wanted to do was escape the suburban hell she was living in
Lukewarm response as I suggest coming to see you and my gut tells me something is amiss telling me you miss me but dodge an opportunity to see me Canβt say why or make plans to see me and I change my relationship status to single confused, frustrated not understanding how I got here almost begging another man for crumbs of affection for the bare minimum
karma bit me and now Iβm paying for all of my emotional crimes now Iβm met with silence and indifference and I go and examine what was the final straw which post led you over the ledge from friendship to being acquaintances once again
I wrote this in 2019 when I was reflecting about the way men have often objectified in a way thatthey almost always seem to just want the fun and sexy part of me but seem to often have problems seeing the rest of me. I’ve almost always felt like I’ve been good enough to be their lover but never good enough to be introduced to their mother. Do I still feel this way? I honestly don’t know. I like the attention and validation I get from men because of my looks but sometimes it feels so hollow. **This poem went through heavy edits in June of 2026.
Often men want this girl…the ones that’s always down for a “good” timeBUT run away from this one….the other girl …the vulnerable one that has a realness hard to accept
Tell me Iβm beautiful, tell me Iβm sexy Objectify me, sleep with me breadcrumb me, ghost me, then try to come back to me And when I deny you insult me, threaten me,try your best to hurt me- Your words mean nothing to me Youβre not the first but will be the last who tries to destroy me Youβre not the first but will be the last who treats me like your on call whore Youβre not the first but will be the last who tells me Iβm not good enough and after all that, try to come back again and Tell me you miss, tell me you want me Tell me youβre sorry, tell me you LOVE ME Be persistent in your quest in trying to bed me with empty promises about how this time it will be different and how we have history so I can laugh and laugh and turn you down and watch you sulk honey, I know you watch me on social media so you should know better than to ever come back to me
I wrote this in September of 2019 after I read somewhere about some politician making fun of AOC for doing the “Latina Thing”. It annoyed the fuck out of me.
Edit: I revised this poem heavily in 2025 when I performed it in open mic. Here’s a link to that performance
what I think of the haters
make fun of our accents,make fun of our names- call us feisty, caliente, spicy. too loud, too sexy try to bully us into silence try to put us down with racist and ignorant insults try to stereotype us- try to make us feel less than try to kill us- but understand that we’re here to stay, and weβre not letting anyone get in our way donβt you know that weβre descendents of Mayan, Aztec, and Incan Kings and Queens and survival and resilience is embedded in our DNA y estamos aquΓ para quedarnos para siempre
he came for my people followed the rhetoric of our hate fueled president men, women, children killed in cold blood because they were the wrong race, the wrong color spoke the wrong language he came for βUSβ the so-called invaders him at just 21 years old filled with hatred from head to toe brainwashed by white supremacy twenty two lives taken as a consequence of a monstrous ideology twenty two families who will forever grieve and mourn the neverending sorrow loss of their loved ones taken too soon twenty two families with an infinity of questions and no real answers and as usual the useless thoughts and prayers come, and the law makers are the worst, making empty promises to fight this American epidemic but after a few days, they will forget like everyone else itβs no longer a question of why this happened ttβs become a question of when will be the next time
the shelf of my bookcase breaks, and my poetry notebooks fall every single one of my love stories scattered on the floor Failure after failure Were any of them worth the effort? Was the experience worth the suffering? Maybe it was for the inspiration behind my prose and poetry and the growth Iβve had Still, that doesnβt seem like an adequate answer
Back to black blast from my car radio as I drive aimlessly in the rain I have a boyfriend but I still feel alone It turns out that being in a relationship isnβt the cure for my loneliness after all Some people will say itβs the long distance, others will say itβs how I still keep my guard up I think itβs a mixture of both and how I have a tendency to fuck up in love
I breathe grief in, I exhale grief out my pain needs a way out because despair and sorrow fill up my lungs and anger sits at the bottom of my stomach and Iβm tired of living like this a life full of emotional intensity And supposedly thereβs a cure for it with therapy and radical acceptance but how do I accept that every man whoβs ever professed his love to me always leaves Will my romantic misfortune one day end? or am I destined to repeat the same story of abandonment over and over again?
I need to head back to the gym before my algorithm notices and starts sending me ads about BBLs and Ozempic I need to head back to the gym and make it part of my weekly routine instead of constantly standing still I need to head back to the gym, I need those endorphins now more than ever as another financial crises looms over me and I donβt know how to get under it give me 45 minutes at the gym to clear my head strategize about my next to make sure my family doesnβt fall into poverty
the consequences of being a hopeless romantic outweigh any rewards everytime I start to believe in love it never works out Everytime I start to believe in love it ends up in chaos and destruction and i try and try again only always to have the same ending and after 26 years of doing this-I donβt have it in me to endure another love failure someone who appears sure of me-only for them to change their mind about me on a whim the consequences of being a hopeless romantic has filled a dozen notebooks and journals with sorrow and grief