Poetry: Recovery

I wrote this poem in August of 2022.

Insecurities and anxiety from my immigrant childhood
Come out to play and my adult self wants to run away
I thought I was healed from this
I hate these triggers—but I still confront them even if I don’t want to
I cry and write about them, reprocess something not quite healed
Am I on the way to my recovery from BPD?

Poesia: Amigo Mio

Here’s the English Version of this poem:

Poetry: Company

Querido amigo, ¿por qué quieres que pase la noche contigo?
¿Será porque quieres usar mi cuerpo para que cubra tu soledad?
¿Será porque estás triste por el rechazo de aquella?
lo siento, pero me tengo que ir
no me prestaré para ser uno de tus antojos temporáneos
porque tu no sabes como enfrentar tus sentimientos

poesia: Queridisimo Brad

here is the English version of this poem:

Poetry: Dear Brad

Queridisimo Brad-
lo siento por no dejar que me lleves a tu cama
y que me uses como te dé la gana
es que aprendi mi leccion
y ahora entendió que soy un tesoro
que no puede gastar su energía
en alguien que no mas me quiere
por un ratito y despues se va

Poetry: Con

I wrote this poem in August of 2022.

mad Peruvian woman in August

the facade of equality is cloaked in good intentions and lovely words-
and while laws have been passed to prevent discrimination
and to try to level the game of success,
it’s all a sham, it’s all a con
we still live in a world where the color of your skin and social status
and gender determine your prosperity

poesia: me vale madre

here is the English version of this poem:

Poetry: Caught Between

entreverada entre dos mundos en oposición
perdió mi lenguaje y los pocos recuerdo de mi patria
y sigo siendo una extranjera en mi patria adoptiva
y nunca aceptada-
me siento rechazada y sin una identidad
trato de encajar en dos culturas que me acusan
de nunca ser suficiente
y vivo un conflicto internal
y un dia me harto y digo me vale madre
lo que los peruanos y americanos digan o piensen de mi
la unica opinion que vale, que importa es la mía

Poetry: Did You?

I wrote this poem in August of 2022.

keep hydrated

did you drink your water today?
did you remind yourself you’re worthy of love?
did you understand you were always enough?
will you repeat after me-
I won’t run away from or suppress my feelings
I need to face my emotions head on
or else I’ll break down

poetry: like clockwork

aqui esta la version en espanol:

Poesia: Falsa Esperanza

you were my hope in love restored
everything I had dreamed of
everything I had wished for
and it was nice for a while-
getting lost in our love
thinking it was safe,
thinking it could be my permanent sanctuary
until one day like clockwork
you changed your mind and decided I wasn’t enough
and I was left wondering “what the fuck is wrong with me?”