Here is the English version of this poem:
https://lifeonthebpd.com/2021/12/15/poetry-scared/
Tengo miedo
que de nuevo se rompa
mi corazón
Estoy preocupado que algún día
me pares de amar
Estoy cansada después
de tantos mentirosos
tengo cuidado que de no
convertirme en una idiota
otra vez
I wrote this in 2006 after I was reflecting my first years of being a mother to my eldest child who I had at 17. Becoming a mother at such a young age didn’t make me the best parent and at times I still tried to act my age and party a lot even though I was a parent. It used to eat me up inside but I’ve come to terms that I did the best I could under the circumstances.
Late nights at the club
Drunk and dancing-you
Singing lullabies
Until he fell asleep-I
Getting ass from
an unknown stranger-you
Looking for monsters under the bed
and wishing them away-I
Waking up in an unknown place
With a helluva hangover-you
Waking up from little hands
Shaking my shoulders-I
You and I=me
Me =two different truths
About the way your childhood
Was seen
I wrote this is 2006 for my creative writing class.
Dressed up in lace
She gets into his car
He drives away in haste.
She’ll never go far
On this path to nowhere
Her life becomes tar.
Doesn’t seem to care
That she is treated so rough
With a life so unfair
Is she a black dove?
Or just a drug addict?
Did she ever know love?
What made her so damn sick?
Why don’t I understand?
What made her so chaotic
Man after man
All for another fix
From the candy man.
For the English version of this poem, click on the link below:
https://lifeonthebpd.com/2021/10/20/poem-racist-jerk/
Querido, lo que dijiste
me partió el alma
nunca pensé que eras un racista
no se si te pueda perdonar
quedarme contigo mataría mi alma
Lamento haberte conocido
Y me duele decirte
Tenemos que terminar
Nuestro cuento de amor
Te deseo lo mejor
Ojalá que algún día
Dejas tus prejuicios atrás
I wrote this in 2006 about my husband, then boyfriend. I tend to put a lot of my worth in the person I’m romantically involved with. This is another BPD trait.
Rising from darkness I struggle to find
the light in the oblivion
that has become my life.
The light is bright with love without conditions .
The light tells me I’m good enough.
The light is you.
For the English version of this poem, click on the link below.
https://lifeonthebpd.com/2021/11/20/betrayed/
Convertiste el amor bonito que teníamos
en una pesadilla de traiciones y mentiras
Estabas enamorado de ella
todo el tiempo que estuvimos juntos
y ahora me voy para siempre
porque merezco mejor
que gastar mi energía en un traidor
I wrote this is 2006 in for my creative writing class. I wrote thinking about my sexuality when I was a teenager. I was hypersexual from a young age.
She was an adult like sixteen years old
Hormones racing like the speed of light
These were bitter enemies of the cold
Powerful sensations she had to fight
Had the body of a mature woman
But the maturity of one she lacked
But still she chose a stranger man
He told her quickly “Lie on your back.”
She was swiftly incapacitated
Gone forever, her norms and behavior
As her callow body palpitated
With her lengthy new found pleasure
And this was the unforeseen joyous end
Of her already dying innocence
Thank you for the nights full of passion
Thank you for your mouth and hands
that make me lose control
that make me melt like an ice cube
in the sun
Thank you for coming into my life
Even if it’s for an instant
Thank you for being here
For the English version of this poem,click on the link below:
https://lifeonthebpd.com/2021/11/13/poetry-pathetic-asshole/
Tengo que decirte
eres un desgraciado
no supiste respetarme
Arrepiento haberte conocido
pensaba que eras mi amigo
pero ahora veo que eres mi enemigo
No quiero verte nunca mas
fuiste una desgracia más en mi vida
Te deseo muchos años de miseria
Por llenarme de agonía
I wrote this poem in 2006 when I was in the midst of my quarter life crisis.
There was once a place
It was my happy place
But it forever disappeared
When puberty appeared
Now I live somewhere else
Where almost everything fails
Where there are no more giggles
And everyone is fickle
Where being sad
Is the fad
And no one cares
About anyone else
What I would give
To get away from this
And go back to
Where no one is rude
And everyone smiles
And no one is a liar
For the English version of this poem, click on the link below:
https://lifeonthebpd.com/2021/11/04/poetry-first-date/
En nuestra primera cita
fuimos a las películas,
a comer, y caminamos bajo la luna
hablamos acerca de varias cosas
Mencionaste a alguien en Miami
pero sentimos una química intensa
fue algo irresistible
De alli nos besamos
A lo mejor eras algo prohibido para mi
pero prendiste un fuego dentro de mi
perdí mis valores y morales
y me somete al deseo inmenso
que sentia por ti
2000
I wrote this poem in 2006 in college. I’ve always been kind of introspective when it comes to the possibilities of life.
The full moon strikes full of unseen possibilities
Possibilities that dwindle as life goes
Through the process of aging or does it?
Perhaps we are the ones who put limits
To our potential to be anything or do anything
Perhaps it really is true that we are the writers of our own destiny
For the English version of this poem, click on the link below:
https://lifeonthebpd.com/2021/10/30/poetry-passing-fad/
Escribí este poema en en 2000 cuando tuve un evento infortunado incident con un alguien que estaba saliendo.
Todavía me acuerdo de tus palabras hirientes
Después de acostarte conmigo
“mejor quedamos como amigos”
mi mundo se destruyó en minutos
casi me ahogo en un mar de mis lágrimas
nunca quisistes conocerme de verdad
la unico que querias era el ardor de mi cuerpo
y me quede con una tristeza profunda
que de nuevo era nada más que una novedad
I wrote this poem is creative writing class in 2006. It’s some kind of form poetry but can’t remember what it is.
Did I ask for your advice?
Father and mother
You are not that wise
So I told a few lies
I didn’t mean to hurt her
Did I ask for your advice?
I had to break mine and her ties
Any words, please don’t offer
You are not that wise
I’m a man of twenty-five
Don’t treat me like a youngster
Did I ask for your advice?
Please don’t give me those eyes
And pretend to be higher
You are not that wise
Stop it with your sighs,
My dear mother and father
Did I ask for your advice?
You are not that wise!
Here is the English version of this poem:
https://lifeonthebpd.com/2021/10/17/poetry-i-still-love-you/
Escribí este poema en 1999 pensando en Andrew, un ex enamorado que tuve con cual me obsesione.
Todavía te amo
no se porque
tu fuiste el arco iris en mi vida
que nunca espere
me diste el regalo especial de tu amor
pero después ella llegó
y tu amor se esfumó
deje de ser tu querida
y ahora me siento como una inutil
porque aunque tú escogiste a esa
Hay algo que te tengo que confesar
todavía sueño con nosotros
y nuestro amor
Life on the BPD 