I used to live in a world full of regret, sorrow, and resentment
until I no longer wanted to live in misery
so I let go of everything and everyone that didn’t serve me
and held onto everything and everyone who helped me grow
and now I’ve blossomed with love, with purpose and for once
I’m full of happiness, calm, and serenity
And I finally feel free to love my life,
to love who I’ve become
I wrote this in July of 2022.
Morning rain makes me want to lay longer in bed
and listen to music and cry
cry about everything that could have been
but instead I get up and start my day
even try to get excited about it
because if I give in to my depression
for even one day
my inner critic wins
Here’s the English version of this poem:
Poetry: Extremely False
No me tomas en serio por ser pobre
piensas que solo soy buena para calentar tu cama
y me tratas como una muñeca que sacas solo para tu conveniencia
Esta estupidez para hoy porque encontré mi respeto y dignidad
He gastado demasiado de mi energia magica
En alguien que no puedes apreciar la diamante
que se presume enfrente de él
I wrote this poem in July of 2022.
I cloak myself in compassion and empathy with family and friends
but when it comes to myself-
I criticize and judge and tell myself I’m not worth it
But it’s time to turn this narrative around
I’m done, done, done
with being a self-loathing clown
and using self-deprecating humor doesn’t help me
it hinders my creativity and stops me
from unlocking the potential within
Here is the English version of this poem:
Poetry: Father Son Mile
por el bien estar de nuestro hijo tenemos que olvidar todo lo que alguna vez fuimos
tu tienes que asumir tu responsabilidad y yo tengo que dejar el pasado en paz
hay que empezar de nuevo y declarar una tregua
Hay que perdonarnos y convertirnos en los padres que el merece que seamos
I wrote this poem in July of 2022.
love is a magnet for my insanity
love is a magnet for feeling worthless
love is magnet for everything wrong in me
so I locked the door to my heart with a padlock
and threw away the key
I can’t trust myself again to risk my vulnerability
I talk to God all the time-
when I sleep, when I wake up
when I work, when I write
when I run
I thank him for the wonderful life he’s bestowed on me
I ask him for grace when I’m petty and angry
I tell him his love makes me want to become a better mother
A better daughter, a better friend, a better me
because throughout my worst and most selfish moments
He’s given me signs of his love
with the people in my life
with the joy and happiness I find
with the light he shines on me in my darkest moments
Here is the English version of this poem:
Poetry: Could I Be The One?
Quisiera ser la pasion detras de tu inspiración
que te hace escribir mil poemas de amor
Quisiera ser tu amanecer que despierta lo mejor en ti
Quisiera ser tu calma después de la tormenta de la tragedia
Quisiera ser el gran amor de tu vida y una de tus razones de vivir
This is a poem I wrote in July. I was angry when I wrote it. Lol.
celebrating a country that rips babies apart from their parents
and takes away rights from the marginalized
and makes anyone who’s not white and christian feel unwelcome
feels like the cruelest irony
it’s celebrating genocide, racism, prejudice, xenophobia, and white supremacy
it’s celebrating everything atrocious and wrong about this country
it almost feels like a personal violation of my beliefs
to celebrate the hypocrisy of this country
founded on genocide and slavery
who claims liberty and justice for all
but “all” is really white, christian and male
so I’m passing on this year’s 4th of July celebrations
because except for a small portion of Americans
no one can claim true freedom
or independence in this American Land
I wrote this poem in July of 2022.
Delusion is believing this time it will be different ,it’s believing he’s not like the others and really gets you
It’s believing him when he tells you he loves you
when you know how this story always ends
Everything will be fine until one day it’s not
and within a few days
You go from lovers to strangers
Here’s the English Version of this poem:
Poetry: Pretending
¿Te haces el idiota o en serio estas ciego?
regresando a mi vida con un aire de indiferencia
como que aqui no paso nada
como que no me jodiste la vida
y te atreves a extenderme tu mano
como si fuéramos amigos
como si el tiempo mi hiciera olvidar el infierno de tu abandono
y como me dejaste solita para enfrentar las consecuencias
de nuestra irresponsabilidad
I wrote this poem in June of 2022.
The cure for a broken soul is finding love and validation
within yourself
It’s finding beauty in the ordinary
It’s finding joy in the mundane moments of life
The cure for a broken soul is finding faith and hope
in the most trying of times
and accepting the darkness within you is temporary
and not everything deserves your energy
The cure for a broken soul is acceptance and love
from the universe, the source and God
Here is the English version of this poem:
Poetry: Maybe One Day
Quizás tu no eres el hombre para mi
pero a lo mejor eres un vistazo de amor anticipado-
un amor que sepa manejarme sin controlarme
un amor que sepa apreciarme sin idolatrándome
un amor que sepa amarme sin mentiras
un amor de verdad
I wrote this poem in June of 2022.
I’m making amends with lovers and friends who’ve hurt me
holding this much resentment in feels heavy
And I’m tired of being a slave to past grudges
it feels like an eternal emotional blockage
So I’m filled with empathy and forgiveness
For those who’ve made me feel worthless
Because enough is really enough
and I’m tired of being fueled by hate
I wanna now be fueled by love
Here’s the English Version of this poem:
Poetry: Fucking Waste
contigo aprendí que los diablos se disfrazan de santos
con tus supuestas buenas intenciones y tu cariño
me sentía tan segura que baje mi armadura
y abrí la puerta de mi corazón
pero después de unos meses vi que denuevo me equivoque
y me encontré otra vez con mi corazón en mil pedazos
¿Será mi mala suerte?
¿O será mi destino quedarme sola?
Life on the BPD 