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Poetry: But wait, don’t go

I wrote this poem in June of 2022.

me in June of 2022

Could you spare me some validation and affection,
so I can feel like a real person?
I thrive on the love and attention of lovers
I don’t know how to feel whole or enough by myself
And admitting it is so embarrassing
But wait, don’t go…
Fuck it! I’m done with this life of dishonesty
here comes my brutal truth-sorry if it bothers you
but I’m done reigning it in for the comfort of others
I’m clingy and melodramatic with emotional warts and all
and even though my truth scares off everybody
At least now I’m free to embrace and love the real me

Posted on by pattytacuri

Poetry: But I did warn you

I wrote this poem in June of 2022.

me in June of 2022

I warn potential lovers about me
about how crazy I can be
about how I fall in love easily
but they never seem to listen
and fill me up with adoration
and don’t proceed with caution
Instead I’m placed on a pedestal
Where they professed their love
That’s when I feel the pressure
of being everything they want
So they think I’m really the one
and their love will last long
but eventually I break down
in my emotions I start to drown
They’ll say, I thought you were healed
You’re so damn crazy
They see me as an atrocity
And once again I’m tragically crushed
By another temporary and fickle love
Who can’t handle me at my worst

Posted on by pattytacuri · 1 Comment

Poetry: Love Data

I wrote this poem in June of 2022.

My therapist said my diagnosis makes it hard to sustain relationships
and I believe it wholeheartedly
because my love data shows me many times
anything involving love and lust crashes and burns
because my romantic history is full of unhealthy and toxic patterns
so now I avoid anything resembling feelings of intimacy
I value my emotional stability too much
to once again lose my sanity to another love that’s temporary

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Poesia: Una Falta de Respeto

Here’s the English version of this poem:

Why Insist?

Pero, porque insistes en algo que nunca será
y querer arruinar nuestra amistad
estas perdiendo tu tiempo halagandome
tratando de conquistarme
porque siempre te considere un amigo, un hermano
tratando de ser algo más sería una falta de respeto
a la relación dulce y pura que tenemos

Posted on by pattytacuri · 3 Comments

I turn off my phone

Daily writing prompt
How do you know when it’s time to unplug? What do you do to make it happen?
View all responses
me when I unplug

I turn the world off and by the world I mean my phone-
I’m done with the posts about healing or being self aware
or reels about how people like me struggle
because of patriarchy or white supremacy
I’m done with texts and calls from friends and family
asking if I’m okay because of some weird status I posted
I’m done with the announcements about babies
or impending marriages or how so and so’s kid made honor roll
I’m done with emails asking me if I want to improve
my website or am I ready for a new summer wardrobe
I’m just done with the world today and retreat into my world
of writing,reading, and vinyls

Posted on by pattytacuri · 1 Comment

Poetry: Thank You

I wrote this poem in May of 2022.

me in May of 2022 coming out of a major depressive episode

To the one who stay to love me
Thank you, thank you, thank you
I know I’m not always easy to deal with
I know my brand of crazy doesn’t always
bring out the best of me
I know that my anger makes me a monster sometimes
But you’ve stayed and dealt with it the best way you could
Either calling me out when I’m dramatic
or expressing your concern when I’m salty or impulsive
The sense of community you’ve given me
feels like my life’s remedy
You’ve never asked me to change
and really love and accept me

Posted on by pattytacuri

Poetry: Reality and Fantasy

I wrote this poem in May of 2022.

yo en mayo del 2022

Lost between fantasy and reality I stay
Reality feels boring and monotonous
and to constantly dream is free
I dream of traveling, of success
of stability within
and it’s nice to stay lost in the fantasy
of what I want my life to be
But I can’t and must return to my reality
of always working, of always hustling
because my dreams won’t come true
unless I work to make them happen

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Poesía: El Sueño del Amor

Escribí este poema en Mayo del 2022.

yo en Mayo del 2022

Siempre soñé con un amor profundo e incondicional
un amor que se quedaría en lo bien y en lo mal
Y pensé que ese amor no mas podría encontrarlo
en un hombre
un hombre que se moriría por mi
que me aguantaria todo
y me hiciera sentir
como la mujer más bella del mundo
pero aprendí con el tiempo
que eso es un sueño inalcanzable
que eso es un sueño imposible
Y un dia me di cuenta
Que el amor que buscaba siempre vivió dentro de mi
Y nunca necesite a alguien que me enseñara que era amar
o como amar
Porque el amor verdadero y duradero
es el amor que yo siento por mi

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Poesía: Ahora Recién

Here’s the English Version of this poem:

Poetry: Three Years Too Late

ahora recién reconoces tu error y me pides disculpas
ahora recién decides enfrentar el dolor que generaste
al negar la existencia de nuestro hijo
ahora recién quieres desempeñar tu papel de padre
después de tu desgraciada ausencia de tres años
esperando que te perdone como si nada paso
lo siento, pero vete de aquí–
el no necesita a un infeliz en su vida
que nunca pudo dar la cara por el
que prefiero esconderlo y olvidarlo por tres años
que quiere usarlo para limpiar su conciencia
para sentirse mejor

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Poetry: The Princess and The Queen

I wrote this poem in May of 2022.

The princess and the queen live within me
And they each serve a purpose
the princess cares about the men in her life
She’s soft and submissive, kind and generous
She’ll do anything for love, she’s loyal
But sometimes the princess get taken advantage of
And the queen steps in
The queen is determined, she is strong and opinionated
And ambitchous and bossy
She’ll do anything to protect herself and her kids
and gives zero fucks about anyone else
And lately I’m trying to find a perfect balance
of embracing these two beings who live within me

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Poetry: Tae Kwon Do Class

I wrote this poem in June of 2022 inspired by my youngest son.

me and my youngest in April of this year

At Tae Kwon Do class my son kicks
with a determined look on his face
It’s strength and resilience inherited from me
and his ancestors
It’s a competitive spirit passed down
generation after generation
from people that had to fight to compete
to survive and it fill me with excitement and pride
because even at ten my son shows traits
from his ancestral warriors

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Poetry: Fighting with My Teenage Son

I wrote this poem in October of 2022 inspired by my middle son.

me and my middle child in March of 2022

Me and my teenage son fight and I regret it the next day
I’ve watched too many people mourn their sons this year
I’ve felt the screams of those close to me
asking God why he took their babies too young
Young men who will never be fathers,
Young men who will never see their children grow up
into rebellious and sassy teens
and while I understand conflicts happens between
parent and child
I also know we’re both on borrowed time
and I don’t want our angry words
to be the last exchange between us
if its his or my last day today

Posted on by pattytacuri · 2 Comments

Poetry: What is Love

Happy Mother’s Day! I wrote this poem in April of last year inspired by my sons.

us in May of 2022

finding someone to love used to be a priority
until love burned me one too many times
besides I’ve always had 3 somebodies to love
that always deserved all of my attention
with them I’m never alone
with them there will always be inspiration
with them my love overflows
at this point, it would be useless for anyone to compete
with this complete kind of love