sadness – Page 3 – Life on the BPD

Posted on August 26, 2023August 20, 2023 by pattytacuri · 2 Comments

poetry: so jealous

aquí esta la versión en español:

Poesía: Decepción

nothing ever happens to my exes after they leave-
they don’t blink, they don’t flinch, they don’t need therapy
and I’m so incredibly jealous of that!
They’re carefree and without any feelings-
Absconding without blame or any responsibility
While I’m left in a spiral of shame and regret
and many times losing my sanity
How many more mental breakdowns will I have before accepting=
love is always a dangerous game for me-
no matter how casual and detached I try to be
my nature will always be to give, give, give
Until I lose parts of my identity
Maybe this is how I keep attracting narcissists?

Posted on August 6, 2023August 4, 2023 by pattytacuri · 4 Comments

poetry: like clockwork

aqui esta la version en espanol:

Poesia: Falsa Esperanza

you were my hope in love restored
everything I had dreamed of
everything I had wished for
and it was nice for a while-
getting lost in our love
thinking it was safe,
thinking it could be my permanent sanctuary
until one day like clockwork
you changed your mind and decided I wasn’t enough
and I was left wondering “what the fuck is wrong with me?”

Posted on July 19, 2023July 19, 2023 by pattytacuri

poesia: obsesión tóxica

Here’s the English version of this poem:

Poetry: Mistake

maldigo mi existencia, deseo ser cualquier otra persona
siempre cometo el mismo error
alucinando que sexo es amor
cuando en realidad es mi obsesión tóxica
con ser deseada, y sentir que valgo algo
para otro ser humano

Posted on July 18, 2023June 18, 2023 by pattytacuri

Poetry: Rewriting my story

I wrote this poem in July of 2022.

I was trapped in a mental cage of misery
I didn’t know how to rewrite my story
and while poetry helped me
it was with grief and therapy I finally felt free
I learned to let go of old resentments and grudges
and healed old emotional bruises
and while I still have minor annoyances
my anger and angst no longer control me

Posted on July 11, 2023July 6, 2023 by pattytacuri · 1 Comment

Poetry: Another Mistake

Aqui esta version en Espanol de este poema:

Poesia: Moriste Para Mi

You were another mistake made
another one I’m throwing in the land of the forgotten
another one who couldn’t appreciate the rare and precious gem
that I am
another one who’ll inspire poetry about how my heart broke once again
by trusting the wrong man

Posted on July 10, 2023June 18, 2023 by pattytacuri

Poetry: Morning Rain

I wrote this in July of 2022.

Morning rain makes me want to lay longer in bed
and listen to music and cry
cry about everything that could have been
but instead I get up and start my day
even try to get excited about it
because if I give in to my depression
for even one day
my inner critic wins

Posted on July 8, 2023June 30, 2023 by pattytacuri · 2 Comments

Poetry: Clown

I wrote this poem in July of 2022.

I cloak myself in compassion and empathy with family and friends
but when it comes to myself-
I criticize and judge and tell myself I’m not worth it
But it’s time to turn this narrative around
I’m done, done, done
with being a self-loathing clown
and using self-deprecating humor doesn’t help me
it hinders my creativity and stops me
from unlocking the potential within

Posted on July 7, 2023July 7, 2023 by pattytacuri

Poesía: Tregua

Here is the English version of this poem:

Poetry: Father Son Mile

por el bien estar de nuestro hijo tenemos que olvidar todo lo que alguna vez fuimos
tu tienes que asumir tu responsabilidad y yo tengo que dejar el pasado en paz
hay que empezar de nuevo y declarar una tregua
Hay que perdonarnos y convertirnos en los padres que el merece que seamos

Posted on July 6, 2023June 18, 2023 by pattytacuri

Poetry: Magnet

I wrote this poem in July of 2022.

love is a magnet for my insanity
love is a magnet for feeling worthless
love is magnet for everything wrong in me
so I locked the door to my heart with a padlock
and threw away the key
I can’t trust myself again to risk my vulnerability

Posted on July 2, 2023June 28, 2023 by pattytacuri · 3 Comments

Poetry: Delusion

I wrote this poem in July of 2022.

Delusion is believing this time it will be different ,it’s believing he’s not like the others and really gets you
It’s believing him when he tells you he loves you
when you know how this story always ends
Everything will be fine until one day it’s not
and within a few days
You go from lovers to strangers

Posted on June 30, 2023May 19, 2023 by pattytacuri · 1 Comment