Poesia: Lo Siento

Here is the English version of this poem:


Lo siento por el niño que eres
y el hombre que nunca serás

Lo siento por haber enamorarme de ti
y no recibir el amor que merecía

Lo siento por creer en tu actuación de hombre bueno
Y aprender que el amor era una ilusión

Lo siento que tu nunca sentiste mi desamparo
Y que para ti no mas fui otra inutil

Lo siento por todas las lágrimas derramadas
y todo el amor que te di

Pero más que todo lo siento por el dia que te aparecistes en mi vida
para ser otro recuerdo lleno de amargura

Poetry: Restless

I wrote this poem in 2008. One the BPD traits is feeling restless and oh my, I feel this a lot. Sometimes it’s for a few hours, sometimes it’s for a few days and I write about it.

restlessness lies in my heart

Restlessness lies in 

my mind at 

night and does

not go away

easily. It invades 

my thoughts and

questions me.

Will it ever go

away or will I 

become insane?

Poetry: Fence

I wrote this in 2007 about my husband. I was frustrated that he was always so guarded with his emotions and his past. I hated that I could give him my vulnerability and he couldn’t give me his. Looking back now, I should have realized how incompatible we were at the time, but my stubborn and optimistic self wanted things to badly work.

me around the time I wrote this poem

A steel and locked fence guards you.

It does its job well.

Your insecurities and emotions never

come out to play with mine.

Your past never comes out to 

join mine in a game of nostalgia.

Will your fence ever open for me?

Poetry: My Happy Place

I wrote this poem in 2006 when I was in the midst of my quarter life crisis.

There was once a place

It was my happy place

But it forever disappeared 

When puberty appeared 

Now I live somewhere else

Where almost everything fails

Where there are no more giggles

And everyone is fickle

Where being sad

Is the fad 

And no one cares

About anyone else

What I would give 

To get away from this 

And go back to 

Where no one is rude

And everyone smiles

And no one is a liar